Hello again, dear readers!
Instead of talking about fashion or shopping today, I would like to discuss a somewhat more intimidating topic; presenting en femme around others. This includes everyone from your doctor, an old friend and even your mother in-law.
When I first began presenting myself en femme, I had a lot of fear about who would see and judge me for it. I only ever dressed up at home when I wasn't planning on going out, and even then I was nervous to do this around my girlfriend. I had spent the first 20 years of my life living the way society had expected me to. This resulted in an excess amount of fear and anxiety of others, even if they happened to be polite. That is no way to live for anyone.
To begin building confidence, you must continue to step out of your comfort zone and dress feminine as many places as possible. I personally began with places that we all go, the grocery store and any other place I normally frequent when running errands. It's generally good advice to start slow, and wear something subtle such as a pair of jeans with a cute top and a pair of low heels or boots. An outfit that helps you blend in more can definitely ease any anxiety you may have about going out appearing as a woman.
Instead of talking about fashion or shopping today, I would like to discuss a somewhat more intimidating topic; presenting en femme around others. This includes everyone from your doctor, an old friend and even your mother in-law.
When I first began presenting myself en femme, I had a lot of fear about who would see and judge me for it. I only ever dressed up at home when I wasn't planning on going out, and even then I was nervous to do this around my girlfriend. I had spent the first 20 years of my life living the way society had expected me to. This resulted in an excess amount of fear and anxiety of others, even if they happened to be polite. That is no way to live for anyone.
To begin building confidence, you must continue to step out of your comfort zone and dress feminine as many places as possible. I personally began with places that we all go, the grocery store and any other place I normally frequent when running errands. It's generally good advice to start slow, and wear something subtle such as a pair of jeans with a cute top and a pair of low heels or boots. An outfit that helps you blend in more can definitely ease any anxiety you may have about going out appearing as a woman.
For some, being subtle isn't very thrilling especially when you've been wanting to wear skirts and heels your whole life. So for me, I push the envelope and simply wear whatever it is I want, regardless of the stares I may receive. I essentially never wear anything but heels, pantyhose and a nice skirt/top or dress when going out. This has certainly given me my fair share of judgement, however one thing worth mentioning is I have never received any negative comments about my appearance.
That's the beauty of being yourself. Most of the time, others will not go out of their way to ridicule you especially when they are complete strangers. At the time of writing this, I have only ever received compliments for the way I present myself. This is a tremendous confidence booster for all the men that decide to be brave enough and present their feminine side. It was mentioned in the comments of my past blog that being feminine "is the new alpha" and I can agree. It takes a thousand times more courage to step outside wearing a dress as a man, then it does to slip on a pair of pants and t-shirt just to blend in.
Around certain people though, you have to apply some self control. Some people have very old doctors, which probably wouldn't be very comfortable seeing you in a pink lace thong (like the beautiful Turbo Lace Picot Thong) while on their examination table. Others like your mother in-law, may be uncomfortable seeing you in a sequin mini dress with glittery stilettos. It's people like this that you may have to appease in your fashion choices just so the environment isn't uncomfortable. That is something I have found to be completely tolerable, as you only have to repress your femininity temporarily while around these people.
Granted, you should never have to change who you are for anyone. But there has to be a line we as men know when not to cross, for the sake of others comfort. This applies to your significant other as well. Never try to compete with your woman, or try to be more feminine than her. Not only is this inherently impossible, but it can also be a catalyst for some of her resentment towards you because she will always be the woman in the relationship. To put it simply, change it up now and then. Wear something traditionally masculine once in a while to remind her you are still comfortable as a man.
And if you are gay or trans, these things probably won't apply to you. So at that point, make your best judgement simply depending on your own situation. I'm not here to tell anyone how to live, I merely wish to pass on advice based on my own experiences. In the end, presenting en femme is a beautiful and courageous act and I applaud and respect all the men brave enough to do it.
So, that will wrap up this blog for now! Tell me all about your experiences; how often do you go out en femme, who you may or may not dress up around and anyone that might have made you feel uncomfortable while you were dressed. It's time for us to get some support in the comments.
Xoxo,
Nathan
31 comments
Ally
I feel u
I figured myself out and now I m a male that loves feeling sexy in my lingerie and wearing toenail polish and heels etc
I wear a little makeup 💄
So i m just me not what I thought i have to be because i like femne clothes
Be yourself
Hi , I remember I was young about 7 or 8 and their was a fancy dress competition at my junior school , My parents suggested I go as a girl , and I could wear my sisters dress , with a little make up , I agreed . I remember on the day I wore a green dress and off I went to the school gates . After mixing I felt a little awkward and people were laughing and mocking me , so after entering the competition I made my way home with embarrassment. A few hours later I heard I had won the school fancy dress , and was elated . As an adult now I always get complements on my girly eyes and long eye lashes , so I guess when I was young I was pretty . When I first came across this site it brought all them feelings back , my heart began racing so I made my first order , I fell in love instantly with the products , they make me feel feminine sexy and most of all confused , which makes me excited and aroused . I remember at 15 having a crush on a boy at school but kept it hidden as thought it was just hormones and nothing else , but my feelings for him were very strong , it’s all I could think about , Thirty years later I’m still in the closet , I’d love nothing more than to put on a beige skirt , pale pink heels , a floral blouse , make up , and pop into town , but haven’t the confidence . I enjoy wearing these products in secret , but would just love the confidence to dress up , go out , and hold another man in my arms . My partner has said she thinks I’m gay and do whatever makes me happy , but I just haven’t the confidence, so under my clothes they remain a secret … for now X S Mitchell
Hi Martin and all you other lovely dressers He to she make-overs are a fabulous treat when you can get them aren’t they. They just never seem to last long enough though. And I can never replicate the make-up. One of the attitude changes I’ve been making recently is to stop thinking that I’m dressing like a woman. Instead, I just think of myself as a guy wearing a dress and a bit of make-up. The effect is different because I now adopt a style that is more a reflection of what I am, rather than trying to imitate what I’m not. I’m loving buying dresses that suit me, and fit me, and shoes I can walk in. I’m having a lot of fun with opaque coloured tights too. Of course, some gorgeous Xdress satin and lace underneath just makes me feel so much better as well. Have fun Ally x
I have had a professional “he to she” makeover a couple of times and have been thrilled with the results (I actually wouldn’t have recognised myself!). I also occasionally dress en-femme in private when I know I won’t be discovered or disturbed. I’d love to share my feminine self with my wife, who doesn’t know that I have an en-femme alter ego, but I don’t feel confident that she’d be accepting. I am straight and happy with my gender but just occasionally would love to go out dressed up as a woman. I haven’t got the confidence or had the opportunity yet but think that if my wife knew and was understanding about my secret desire then that could change. I’d love it if one evening my wife did my makeup and we both dressed up in lingerie, a dress and heels before enjoying an evening out on the town. One day maybe…
So many really nice posts on this topic. There are some nice block heel ankle boots in fashion at the moment and they make a great femme addition to skinny jeans. I like to wear necklaces and bracelets too. Fun to be had. Winter is the time for opaque tights and hold-ups too. I have some lovely mustard colour ones and ones with sausage dogs on. Great for wearing under a tunic dress. Leggings are a nice femme touch under a tunic dress too. I think in winter people are too worried about keeping warm to worry about what other people are wearing. En femme Ally x