Hello again, dear readers!
Instead of talking about fashion or shopping today, I would like to discuss a somewhat more intimidating topic; presenting en femme around others. This includes everyone from your doctor, an old friend and even your mother in-law.
When I first began presenting myself en femme, I had a lot of fear about who would see and judge me for it. I only ever dressed up at home when I wasn't planning on going out, and even then I was nervous to do this around my girlfriend. I had spent the first 20 years of my life living the way society had expected me to. This resulted in an excess amount of fear and anxiety of others, even if they happened to be polite. That is no way to live for anyone.
To begin building confidence, you must continue to step out of your comfort zone and dress feminine as many places as possible. I personally began with places that we all go, the grocery store and any other place I normally frequent when running errands. It's generally good advice to start slow, and wear something subtle such as a pair of jeans with a cute top and a pair of low heels or boots. An outfit that helps you blend in more can definitely ease any anxiety you may have about going out appearing as a woman.
Instead of talking about fashion or shopping today, I would like to discuss a somewhat more intimidating topic; presenting en femme around others. This includes everyone from your doctor, an old friend and even your mother in-law.
When I first began presenting myself en femme, I had a lot of fear about who would see and judge me for it. I only ever dressed up at home when I wasn't planning on going out, and even then I was nervous to do this around my girlfriend. I had spent the first 20 years of my life living the way society had expected me to. This resulted in an excess amount of fear and anxiety of others, even if they happened to be polite. That is no way to live for anyone.
To begin building confidence, you must continue to step out of your comfort zone and dress feminine as many places as possible. I personally began with places that we all go, the grocery store and any other place I normally frequent when running errands. It's generally good advice to start slow, and wear something subtle such as a pair of jeans with a cute top and a pair of low heels or boots. An outfit that helps you blend in more can definitely ease any anxiety you may have about going out appearing as a woman.
For some, being subtle isn't very thrilling especially when you've been wanting to wear skirts and heels your whole life. So for me, I push the envelope and simply wear whatever it is I want, regardless of the stares I may receive. I essentially never wear anything but heels, pantyhose and a nice skirt/top or dress when going out. This has certainly given me my fair share of judgement, however one thing worth mentioning is I have never received any negative comments about my appearance.
That's the beauty of being yourself. Most of the time, others will not go out of their way to ridicule you especially when they are complete strangers. At the time of writing this, I have only ever received compliments for the way I present myself. This is a tremendous confidence booster for all the men that decide to be brave enough and present their feminine side. It was mentioned in the comments of my past blog that being feminine "is the new alpha" and I can agree. It takes a thousand times more courage to step outside wearing a dress as a man, then it does to slip on a pair of pants and t-shirt just to blend in.
Around certain people though, you have to apply some self control. Some people have very old doctors, which probably wouldn't be very comfortable seeing you in a pink lace thong (like the beautiful Turbo Lace Picot Thong) while on their examination table. Others like your mother in-law, may be uncomfortable seeing you in a sequin mini dress with glittery stilettos. It's people like this that you may have to appease in your fashion choices just so the environment isn't uncomfortable. That is something I have found to be completely tolerable, as you only have to repress your femininity temporarily while around these people.
Granted, you should never have to change who you are for anyone. But there has to be a line we as men know when not to cross, for the sake of others comfort. This applies to your significant other as well. Never try to compete with your woman, or try to be more feminine than her. Not only is this inherently impossible, but it can also be a catalyst for some of her resentment towards you because she will always be the woman in the relationship. To put it simply, change it up now and then. Wear something traditionally masculine once in a while to remind her you are still comfortable as a man.
And if you are gay or trans, these things probably won't apply to you. So at that point, make your best judgement simply depending on your own situation. I'm not here to tell anyone how to live, I merely wish to pass on advice based on my own experiences. In the end, presenting en femme is a beautiful and courageous act and I applaud and respect all the men brave enough to do it.
So, that will wrap up this blog for now! Tell me all about your experiences; how often do you go out en femme, who you may or may not dress up around and anyone that might have made you feel uncomfortable while you were dressed. It's time for us to get some support in the comments.
Xoxo,
Nathan
31 comments
I love reading these blogs. I present to the outside world about as masculine as a man can be. However I underdress 99.999% of the time. I shave my entire body and nobody says anything. I go for pedicures with my wife and get clear. Recently on vacation I wore a woman’s tankini bottoms to the beach. They are shorts but really short. Not one word or odd look. My wife says just be confident.
We were in the mall and as we were walking past the massage store my wife says her back hurts and lets get massages. Without hesitation she walked in, ordered 2 massages and told them she wanted a male and I wanted a female. The girls escorts me in the back and says everything off but underwear. OMG I am wearing a black sheer and lace hipster. Stripped down, covered up with a towel and went with it. Not a word was said about them. I wear whatever androgynous clothing that is female that I can. I am extremely thankful that my wife totally supports me.
This article is so welcomed! Like the others, I’ve been coming out of my shell, and have been expanding my courage to wearing such garments that en femme me also! There’s an American patriot in Germany that wears heels, skirts and hose every day, and he gave the courage to take a step forward in that direction. I’ve had nothing but fascination smiles, and some of the best compliments ever! And like a few here, I’m 54 and enjoy my new way of living, as long as I have decorum for those times where that just wouldn’t be appropriate!
My experiences have be to underdress at first and as time progressed I started pushing the envelope by wearing womens jeans. No one ever said anything except how good they looked
Then i added womens sweaters still only compliments. So I added make up
Nothing heavy just concealer foundation and mascara and lip balm
Never anything except u look great what are you doing?
I d say each person better look at their situation and decide if its worth the backlash for your SO your children your family and ur job
Now however most jobs are accepting
Get ur lingerie on
Stevie
I have been a secret cross dresser since a young teenager I’m now 52.only the last 3 yrs I’ve confessed to my wife which must of been hard for her. I wear underwear on a daily basis as long as she doesn’t see any which I have to live with. When alone I get the chance to full dress and the change in my mental health is amazing so confident. Reading these excellent blogs gives me more confidence to try new things. I admire any guy who ventures out dressed up hopefully one day I will. I do think I’m more feminine than my wife as she is a bit tomboyish, wish we could swap rolls. Keep up the good work and can’t wait for next blog. Love to all gurlz x
I enjoy the comfort and pleasure of thongs, g-strings lacey, and cheeky underwear as well as lingerie. I’m a heterosexual married male, and my wife loves the way those types of underwear fit me. she calls it my “sexy wear”. Though I’m a heterosexual my wife and I enjoy the taboo of reverse sexual fantasies eg prostate massage, dildos and vibrators. However, the intensity of knowing what I like and not being ashamed if the public knows is a superb feeling. I’m not ashamed of my desires.