Hello again, dear readers!
Instead of talking about fashion or shopping today, I would like to discuss a somewhat more intimidating topic; presenting en femme around others. This includes everyone from your doctor, an old friend and even your mother in-law.
When I first began presenting myself en femme, I had a lot of fear about who would see and judge me for it. I only ever dressed up at home when I wasn't planning on going out, and even then I was nervous to do this around my girlfriend. I had spent the first 20 years of my life living the way society had expected me to. This resulted in an excess amount of fear and anxiety of others, even if they happened to be polite. That is no way to live for anyone.
To begin building confidence, you must continue to step out of your comfort zone and dress feminine as many places as possible. I personally began with places that we all go, the grocery store and any other place I normally frequent when running errands. It's generally good advice to start slow, and wear something subtle such as a pair of jeans with a cute top and a pair of low heels or boots. An outfit that helps you blend in more can definitely ease any anxiety you may have about going out appearing as a woman.
Instead of talking about fashion or shopping today, I would like to discuss a somewhat more intimidating topic; presenting en femme around others. This includes everyone from your doctor, an old friend and even your mother in-law.
When I first began presenting myself en femme, I had a lot of fear about who would see and judge me for it. I only ever dressed up at home when I wasn't planning on going out, and even then I was nervous to do this around my girlfriend. I had spent the first 20 years of my life living the way society had expected me to. This resulted in an excess amount of fear and anxiety of others, even if they happened to be polite. That is no way to live for anyone.
To begin building confidence, you must continue to step out of your comfort zone and dress feminine as many places as possible. I personally began with places that we all go, the grocery store and any other place I normally frequent when running errands. It's generally good advice to start slow, and wear something subtle such as a pair of jeans with a cute top and a pair of low heels or boots. An outfit that helps you blend in more can definitely ease any anxiety you may have about going out appearing as a woman.
For some, being subtle isn't very thrilling especially when you've been wanting to wear skirts and heels your whole life. So for me, I push the envelope and simply wear whatever it is I want, regardless of the stares I may receive. I essentially never wear anything but heels, pantyhose and a nice skirt/top or dress when going out. This has certainly given me my fair share of judgement, however one thing worth mentioning is I have never received any negative comments about my appearance.
That's the beauty of being yourself. Most of the time, others will not go out of their way to ridicule you especially when they are complete strangers. At the time of writing this, I have only ever received compliments for the way I present myself. This is a tremendous confidence booster for all the men that decide to be brave enough and present their feminine side. It was mentioned in the comments of my past blog that being feminine "is the new alpha" and I can agree. It takes a thousand times more courage to step outside wearing a dress as a man, then it does to slip on a pair of pants and t-shirt just to blend in.
Around certain people though, you have to apply some self control. Some people have very old doctors, which probably wouldn't be very comfortable seeing you in a pink lace thong (like the beautiful Turbo Lace Picot Thong) while on their examination table. Others like your mother in-law, may be uncomfortable seeing you in a sequin mini dress with glittery stilettos. It's people like this that you may have to appease in your fashion choices just so the environment isn't uncomfortable. That is something I have found to be completely tolerable, as you only have to repress your femininity temporarily while around these people.
Granted, you should never have to change who you are for anyone. But there has to be a line we as men know when not to cross, for the sake of others comfort. This applies to your significant other as well. Never try to compete with your woman, or try to be more feminine than her. Not only is this inherently impossible, but it can also be a catalyst for some of her resentment towards you because she will always be the woman in the relationship. To put it simply, change it up now and then. Wear something traditionally masculine once in a while to remind her you are still comfortable as a man.
And if you are gay or trans, these things probably won't apply to you. So at that point, make your best judgement simply depending on your own situation. I'm not here to tell anyone how to live, I merely wish to pass on advice based on my own experiences. In the end, presenting en femme is a beautiful and courageous act and I applaud and respect all the men brave enough to do it.
So, that will wrap up this blog for now! Tell me all about your experiences; how often do you go out en femme, who you may or may not dress up around and anyone that might have made you feel uncomfortable while you were dressed. It's time for us to get some support in the comments.
Xoxo,
Nathan
31 comments
I’ve just discovered this website, and it’s such a treasure trove of products, and of thoughts, experiences which I can really relate to, as a crossdresser trying to come out. Like many I’ve been wearing lingerie under my “regular” male clothing since my teens, when it’s been practical. Recently I’ve had more opportunity to add outerwear-a short skirt/top, or a floral dress or my secret pride and joy, a pink PVC maid’s dress. But only at home when the coast is clear. The seamstress who made my maid’s dress mentioned the UK’s Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar- www.thebbb.co.uk -as somewhere I ought to visit. So I did, and I would recommend it to anyone of you who is seeking a safe public place to dress. It’s a once a month event, on the 3rd Sunday of each month, and is an indoor market for fetish material and equipment, but the key-for us crossdressers-is that you can wear whatever you want, and you are among sympathetic and non judgmental people. I’ve been twice now-the first time with male outerwear and I was honestly quite scared. The second time I gritted my teeth, and changed into my maid’s dress with a blond wig and heels-after the initial 30 seconds of terror, it was just wonderful, so welcoming. No-one bothered me, I was one of quite a few, and gradually relaxed. It’s a really good way to be the real you, openly, in friendly company. I’m hoping to go again this weekend with my new lingerie from XD and maid’s dress again. Hope that this is useful to some of you. Good luck!
Like many, I enjoyed wearing panties at a young age, I’m now 64. So about 5-6 years ago I came out of the bathroom one evening in my bra and panties from XDRESS to my wife. She was taken aback but we had sex while I was wearing them. I will say it made me very hard and the sex was great! HOWEVER, the more she thought about it, the more she didn’t care for me to wear panties and a bra (she never learned I’ve gone full en-femme, breasts, tight dress, high heals, wig, out in public). I’ve tried a couple times with just (lace) panties but but she became dead set against it, even threatening divorce. Soooo, trying once more I bought runched bikinis, not lace, and having a pouch. She initially thought they were women’s panties again, but after I showed her the were made for men, I used the argument that men should be able to wear sexy panties too. Anything with lace won’t fly with her but I now have several pairs of these and she’s OK with them. Because the are very low rise bikinis, I now shave the pubes where the extended beyond my panties. She thinks that’s weird but hasn’t pushed back.
This website has changed my life and made me feel like I can be exactly who I want to be without shame or judgement. I never thought my wife or my bestfriend or anyone would be so accepting but they are and I would have never even tried if it weren’t for XD.
Another blog with a very interesting topic. Since I was very young I only wear panties, it all started with a friend and then a boyfriend! I grew up and lived in a very traditional family in a village where everyone knew us, it was difficult to fully assume my femininity. I always wore panties, in the presence of my grandparents, parents, uncles, cousins and cousins, as well as friends. Later in the working world, I continued to wear panties every day of the week. Usually when I get home, I take off my clothes and assume the role of a woman in all its breadth, my boyfriend loves it! In public this year on vacation I started wearing a bikini on the beach and at the hotel. It wasn’t easy at all, but with the help of my boyfriend, I’m slowly venturing out! I love your blog and Xdress.
I have been wearing women’s nylon panties since being a youngster, 24/7. I do not have any men’s underwear at all. I have a yearly examination from my cosmetologist. Because I wear panties 24/7, I normally have her examine me from the waist up only, so I don’t have to remove my pants. Last year, I approved for a complete examination, seeing as how I was wearing light blue bikini panties(so I thought) and I felt they could be taken as men’s underwear.
The Doctors assistant asked me to strip down to my underwear and put on one of them white hospital gowns and then left the room. I did so. As the Doctor was completing her examination, she had me lay back on the table and opened my robe to finish the examination. In front of her assistant, she bent over me and with her thumb & forefinger, she pinched the front of my panties (at the EXACT spot of the small bow was located) and lifted the panty away from my body as she looked at my completely shave groin area.
I thought it was odd that she would do it in this way. Her assistant was looking at the entire examination.
After she was finished, I got dressed and went out to make my next year’s appointment.
When I got home, I realized that I had been wearing one of my favorite bikini panties….and they were not the blue ones.
The panties I wore to my examination were a very pretty lavender color, they had a bow on the front-center of the panty and the waist and leg openings had a very pretty picot lace trim on them!!!
Definitely women’s panties!!! Of course they were nylon. They were not the blue ones I thought I had put on in the morning. Some times I don’t pay close attention as to the panties I put on.
As I left the Doctor’s office, I noticed that all three assistants were smiling and really paying attention as I left.
When I arrived home, I now realize why. I am sure they were all talking about the panties I was wearing.
So this year, I requested an “above” the waist examination only. I am sure they were looking forward to a new show. I was a little embarrassed by it all but now after reading some of the other comments here, I really am GLAD that I did wear the panties that I did!!!! I am now glad that the Dr & her assistant seen me wearing WOMEN’S nylon panties and I hope they did tell the other office workers!!!