How to Present 'En Femme' Around Others

How to Present 'En Femme' Around Others
Hello again, dear readers!

Instead of talking about fashion or shopping today, I would like to discuss a somewhat more intimidating topic; presenting en femme around others. This includes everyone from your doctor, an old friend and even your mother in-law.

When I first began presenting myself en femme, I had a lot of fear about who would see and judge me for it. I only ever dressed up at home when I wasn't planning on going out, and even then I was nervous to do this around my girlfriend. I had spent the first 20 years of my life living the way society had expected me to. This resulted in an excess amount of fear and anxiety of others, even if they happened to be polite. That is no way to live for anyone.

To begin building confidence, you must continue to step out of your comfort zone and dress feminine as many places as possible. I personally began with places that we all go, the grocery store and any other place I normally frequent when running errands. It's generally good advice to start slow, and wear something subtle such as a pair of jeans with a cute top and a pair of low heels or boots. An outfit that helps you blend in more can definitely ease any anxiety you may have about going out appearing as a woman.

For some, being subtle isn't very thrilling especially when you've been wanting to wear skirts and heels your whole life. So for me, I push the envelope and simply wear whatever it is I want, regardless of the stares I may receive. I essentially never wear anything but heels, pantyhose and a nice skirt/top or dress when going out. This has certainly given me my fair share of judgement, however one thing worth mentioning is I have never received any negative comments about my appearance.

That's the beauty of being yourself. Most of the time, others will not go out of their way to ridicule you especially when they are complete strangers. At the time of writing this, I have only ever received compliments for the way I present myself. This is a tremendous confidence booster for all the men that decide to be brave enough and present their feminine side. It was mentioned in the comments of my past blog that being feminine "is the new alpha" and I can agree. It takes a thousand times more courage to step outside wearing a dress as a man, then it does to slip on a pair of pants and t-shirt just to blend in.

Around certain people though, you have to apply some self control. Some people have very old doctors, which probably wouldn't be very comfortable seeing you in a pink lace thong (like the beautiful Turbo Lace Picot Thong) while on their examination table. Others like your mother in-law, may be uncomfortable seeing you in a sequin mini dress with glittery stilettos. It's people like this that you may have to appease in your fashion choices just so the environment isn't uncomfortable. That is something I have found to be completely tolerable, as you only have to repress your femininity temporarily while around these people.

Granted, you should never have to change who you are for anyone. But there has to be a line we as men know when not to cross, for the sake of others comfort. This applies to your significant other as well. Never try to compete with your woman, or try to be more feminine than her. Not only is this inherently impossible, but it can also be a catalyst for some of her resentment towards you because she will always be the woman in the relationship. To put it simply, change it up now and then. Wear something traditionally masculine once in a while to remind her you are still comfortable as a man.

And if you are gay or trans, these things probably won't apply to you. So at that point, make your best judgement simply depending on your own situation. I'm not here to tell anyone how to live, I merely wish to pass on advice based on my own experiences. In the end, presenting en femme is a beautiful and courageous act and I applaud and respect all the men brave enough to do it.

So, that will wrap up this blog for now! Tell me all about your experiences; how often do you go out en femme, who you may or may not dress up around and anyone that might have made you feel uncomfortable while you were dressed. It's time for us to get some support in the comments.

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Hi Everyone, I’ve just stumbled on this blog and it has hit so many nerves and the comments are really reassuring. Like many here I am basically straight and have enjoyed wearing feminine things since I was about 7, some 50 years ago. I have moved from closet dressing and full transvestism (including professional make overs) to blending male a female attire whilst presenting as my masculine self (complete with beard these days). My wife knows but is not overly supportive which is a source of great frustration because I know that when I am in the clothes I love I am a much happier, relaxed and fun person to be with. I really wish she could share that with me. These days I wear denim or cord skirts with mainly opaque but sometimes sheer tights. Everything else tends to be masculine. I am trying to venture out more often but I find it more challenging than being fully crossed dressed where I felt hidden. That said when I do pluck up the courage to go to the garage or Costa I love it. So far I’ve had no abuse. The sensual side is a bit more complex but that’s probably best discussed elsewhere (SM😊). Bob


Scott i feel u! I love my guy mode! Then mix it with femme clothes
Keep on pushing the envelope


Hi all I’ve been dressing in lingerie stockings and tights and skirts and heels for many years now .I always get home from work and then dress in something that just make me comfortable and happy and just happens to be all the above mentioned. I have one friend that knows she found out about it 4 years ago and loves the fact I dress . I have no desire to try and look like a woman I never wear makeup or wigs in fact I have a beard it’s obvious I’m a guy. I just love the feeling of wearing those types of clothes it make me happy. Last weekend I decided it’s time I ventured out into the big world dressed so I went to my local supermarket 5 inch black ankle boots burgundy opaque tights short grey and black skirt and knitting top . I walked right though town did my shopping and went home .not all the people I encountered were positive towards me but most were even if it just a nice smile or a simple you look nice and they are the things I focus on and I’m now looking forward to going out dressed again because your only get one go around so be happy Scott x

Scott UK

Some great comments on here , I’ve already posted recent but just wanted to add I commend your courage for venturing out , I’d love to dress up and go out and love wearing these products , but it will never happen , At 53 I’m still unsure of my sexuality , I’ve always dated women , and never dated a guy , but would like one date to see what’s truly going on inside me but that will never happen either , so in my head as a fantasy it will remain , if anyone feels the same and wants an imaginary lover that they’ll never meet but stay in the closet and keep the conversation clean pop my initials in your blog SM S Mitchell

Scott M

Nice blog and very informative. I like to dress femme but only go “out” when a professional makeover er is done. I cannot seem to apply makeup the right way. However, when I do go out it is fun and I love the way I feel. My SO is accepting and supportive but prefers me in my panties dressed as a man. It is okay as she does give me an outlet and it seems to satisfy my inner femme. Especially since she lets me dress at home and wear panties whenever I like. Love the XDress products and how they make me feel. Especially he satin! New gingham panties is super cute!


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