Am I gay?

Am I gay?

When I read the responses to the blogs that I, or others write, I am looking to see if there are trends, or commonalities in those responses.  One of the trends that I have seen come up fairly often is the question of “am I gay”?   Now, to be clear, and get this out of the way, I am writing this with zero judgement.  If you are gay, and purchase lingerie from X-Dress, great, enjoy it.  If you are heterosexual and you purchase lingerie from X-Dress, great, enjoy it.  The point that I want to discuss is the fact that, most men, myself included, who enjoy wearing lingerie, have questioned their sexuality.  If I enjoy wearing bra’s and panties, and other sexy lingerie, that must mean that I am gay.  Well, I for one, can tell you that I am a heterosexual male who loves wearing lingerie.  In fact, so much so, that I have more than my girlfriend, and I wear it daily. 

As I have written in previous blogs, such as What would she say? or What's wrong with feeling pretty? I bring up the point of, what would happen if you told your spouse or your significant other of your secret obsession. Victoria isn’t the only one with a secret.  So, if you did “break the news”, or have “broke the news”, was the first question that you got asked, “Are you gay’? As I have read, many have asked themselves that very question, and they have also been on the receiving end of it. 

As I write this blog, I am at home, and am wearing the Glow Lace Brazil Panty with the matching black Glow Lace Popover Bra, and Sexy Lace Garter with stockings underneath my skirt and blouse.  I love how it makes me feel, and I love to look pretty and sexy for when my girlfriend gets home from work.  She will give me “the look” for sure, and then a big grin, and I know that there will be a sparkle in her eye when she see’s the garter.  So, when I wear what I enjoy wearing, what does that have to do with my sexuality?  Why do our and other’s minds go directly to sexual orientation when it comes to what we wear?  So, because I am wearing satin and lace panties, I should automatically then be attracted to men?  Or the reverse, if you are gay, and do not wear lingerie, and don your tighty whity’s, should you then be attracted to women?  I think that this is such an interesting issue. 

Society sure likes to place rules and labels to things.  If a women decides to put on work boots and her boyfriends t-shirt and heads out on the town, no one would even look twice. No comment, no questioning of sexuality internally or externally, and all would be well.  Now, I put on lingerie, and wear a dress or a skirt, and have my nails painted, BAM, can you imagine the looks, the comments, and well, the shame.  Interesting, isn’t it? For this reason, I do not dress and go out in public. I do it in the comfort and safety of my home.  Although, I do underdress everyday.  I am so thankful to XDress to provide a great product that not only fits great, made well, but also lets me feel pretty and sexy on the inside and the outside. 

I would really appreciate your thoughts on this.  I find it incredibly powerful to read these blogs and know that I am not alone.  It took my quite a while to embrace the self-acceptance of my feminine side, and to really enjoy the XDress products without feeling shame.  As I mentioned, I did go through a period of self-questioning about my sexuality.  But then quickly came to the conclusion, that, it’s just who I am a heterosexual man who love the finer things in life such as satin and lace. I am also very fortunate to have a girlfriend who loves me for me, and encourages me to be myself.  We both win. 

I would love to hear your thoughts, stories, struggles, and outcomes of your XDress journey.


Like What You're Reading?

Share it with your friends!



My journey started with trying men’s thongs and enjoying how how I felt wearing them. I started looking for other options. Everything I found though seemed to be targeted towards hyper masculine gay men and it just didn’t fit me. After searching around I finally came across xdress and have loved everything I have gotten from them so far.

I’m in a lucky position where I live in a very open household. My wife is Bi and on to board of our local Pride group so we are very involved in the local LGBTQ community in our small midwest town. My oldest Son is dating a trans boy and my middle son’s significant other just came out as non-binary so conversations about gender and sexual identity are nothing new in our house. That being said it did take some courage to come out to my wife of 17 years. I knew she wouldn’t have a problem with it but still wasn’t sure what the reaction would be. While she thankfully is very supportive of me feeling good she told me the other night that since she has never seen me as feminine seeing me in more feminine clothing is a little weird and she doesn’t find herself attracted to how I look. Though being more on the asexual side she is not really all that attracted to looks. It’s a little disappointing for me because I’m finding that not only do I want to feel sexy I’d like my spouse to find me sexy as well and I’m just not sure she is capable of that in the capacity I’m looking for.

All that being said she is very supportive. While I go out in lingerie under regular clothes all the time I haven’t had the courage to wear skirts or dresses outside the house. She bought me a kilt for Christmas in hopes that I might feel comfortable out in that and she even bought me some night gowns for Valentines day.


I read ur blog on if wearing panties/lingerie makes u gay. I couldnt agree with u more. My obsession with panties started when I was 19 years old. I remember being at the beach with my girlfriend & friends. It was night time & my friends threw me into the beach water in my clothes. I didnt have extra clothes other than a pair of sweats & a t-shirt. My girlfriend & I walked over to the showers to change into something dry. I remember feeling very uncomfortable in my sweats without underwear. I had never free balled before. As I continued to complain to my girlfriend that I didn’t like how it felt she said " fine just wear my panties." I was confused, didn’t know what to think but at same time I was a little curious & turned on by it. I remember her pulling my sweats off, her undressing out of her panties & putting her panties on me. I was so turned on & have never ever felt as turned on as I did in that moment. this was in 1989. I recall her putting a pair of Black silk, bikini string French cut panties on me. They just felt soft up against my skin & fit just right. We walked back to the group at the bonfire & I was scared & nervous if my friends would notice or simply pants me & see that I had girls panties on. My girlfriend every now & then would walk behind me a gently spank me in the butt, smile at me & wink letting me know , " I know what u have on underneath " with a little smile. That also turned me on. It was at this moment that I knew I had to wear her panties again. She did put her panties on me again in the bedroom & I loved it more each & every time. It was just recently that I gained the courage to wear panties in public. I now also wear garter belts, thigh highs, bras, skirts & other lingerie in the bedroom. I does make me feel sexy, turned on in a taboo kind if way & also let’s me get in touch with my feminine side. I am a strong heterosexual alpha male who loves wearing panties. Thank u for sharing ur blog. It helped me share my story today.
Also a big thank u to Xdress for making these femine items available for us men that enjoy wearing panties & lingerie.
Love ur products & always checking to see what new items are out for purchase.
Thank u , Gabe


быть геем или натуралом дело каждого человека и очень что то личное ..гею носить дамское нижнее бельё означает подчеркнуть свой статус в обществе ..натурал если одел дамское бельё то он хочет быть геем прямо или косвенно ……носить же комфортное бельё требует само тело …выбирать нам самим что нам удобно


Bang on Bradley! I love and affectionately affirm your post of Jan 4!! You’ve articulated well the freedom and openess to be ourselves, whatever USMC base we find ourselves. 💕🦄


Please! May we, as a marginilezed people, cease using labels? May we give ourselves and our energy to authenticity, beauty, openess. The possibility that “Victoria isn’t the only one with a secret” is a sad commentary of our current affairs. 😢 My hope and desire is that we each embrace the liberty to follow our bliss! Come what may. 💃🧚‍♂️🫶🏽


Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.