What Would She Say?

What Would She Say?

I truly enjoy contributing to these blogs, appreciate the comments, and I hope that they create thought provoking changes in your mindset.  I realize along my journey of reading and writing these blogs it has done many things for me. It has made me realize that I am not alone, there is nothing wrong with me, and that I can build my confidence to share my stories, and hopefully in turn, inspire others to do the same.  All we can do is try.

Something recently that has come to mind is what would “she say”?  There are many when I have read comments on the blog that they truly enjoy the feeling of wearing lingerie. The enjoyment of the feeling it gives them, it lets them experience the feminine side of themselves, but yet they hide it away from their significant other.  Now, understandably so. With my former spouse of many years, if I would have expressed this aspect of myself to her, well, let’s just say that the divorce proceedings would have come a lot faster than they did.  I’ll leave it as; I wasn’t allowed the freedom to be myself. Judgment proceedings would have been swift, and the stories around it would have followed. How people love to tell stories.  This was the past.

Let’s move into the present, and how I got here.  When I met my significant other that I am with now, I made a commitment to myself that I would only be with someone who accepted me, for me, panties and all. (no warts involved). I made a commitment to myself that I would not settle, not hide, and to be with someone who I could share all of me with.  Why hide a part of me that found joy, sensuality, and freedom.  My way of expressing it is mine, but it truly has no meaning until it’s shared.  So, early on when dating, I decided to pull off the band-aid so to speak (place holy shit here), and over a face-time video as I was out of the country, I told her that I enjoyed wearing women’s panties. Then, I waited for the response. Time stalled at this point.  To which she responded, well, I would like to see it and experience it for myself and then decide if this was something that I would enjoy and accept.  Thus, it was not a no. (place whew here) At that point, I knew that I was dating someone who was opening minded enough to at least consider accepting all of me.  So, the journey began.  Truth be told, she went to XDress online shortly after and ordered me my first pair of blue Valentina panties.  Which we now dub as “the originals”.

Fast forward, she has possibly bought more lingerie on XDress for me than I have. We have gone to brick and mortar stores and bought matching lingerie.  Each and every morning when I am home, we pick out each other’s bra and panty sets in the morning and have them at the ready when we get out of the shower.  Often, we get ready in the morning together in our bra and panty sets in the bathroom.  We have matching nighty and panty sets for bed.  The request has come on numerous occasions for me to do a cat walk for her.  When the new satin skirts came out from XDress, she was like… so???????  I will say that our intimate times together have gone to a completely new level.  If I decide to put on a skirt and clean the house, she decides that cleaning the house is no longer a good idea.  You take it from there. 

So, to my point.  For you are out there, and you know who you are, and if you decided to open up, be vulnerable, and be completely honest with your significant other, what would she say?  Do you think that you will be pleasantly surprised by her response?  Do you think she would be aghast at the idea?  Would you have to explain that you are not gay, you love her,  but have a feminine side that needs to be expressed?  Would she understand?  What would it look like on the other side of one simple question?  I know that I have read about the situations where it has worked brilliantly and taken their relationship to a new level.  I don’t think that I have read the alternative on these blogs.  Would love for you to share your stories.  Communities support and learn from each other, why don’t we do that?  So, what would she say???


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My wife has been on the same page as me for the past 25 years; however, as I age the conversation is something I have been able to open up about more and more. My wife’s response is “you do you” and “clothing does not define if you’re a man or a woman.” So recently as I started getting into bras, I asked her what she thought before showing her, and her response was “no I’m not into that.” This made everything else she had said become less valuable. Now I’m kind of back to hiding it from her and I just don’t know if I should surprise her or not. I did buy her a nighty from XDress and she loved it (so did I) but we are different sizes, so I bought the same in my size. Her reaction was not quite acceptance, but we had the best sex ever (she commented after that I’ve never made her cum like that before) so I think she is cool with it, but I don’t know. I like it, so really that’s all that matters but I really want her to get into it and help promote the trend. I just don’t know how to get her to start picking out lingerie, panties, and bras for me. I wish she was more excited about this. Any ideas on how to get her more onboard?✌🏻


I told my wife in a roundabout way… she had already supported me wearing lacy men’s boxers from a well known adult website so I had an inkling all was good. My wife used to go in to the office and I worked from home. If I did the washing and told her I would get a ‘good wifey’ comment on WhatsApp. So one day I decided to push… after getting the comment I replied with: “the good wife will treat the hard worker tonight by wearing stockings and suspenders”. Her simple answer was “Just don’t ladder them”. The rest is history, she bought me my first heels soon after!


Thank you everyone for contributing to this blog. So great to hear the stories. Let’s keep this blog going. As more people find the site and, as “she” gets to read these blogs, it gives others permission to do the same. Thank you for all of you who carry the torch to help others be themselves!


Jeff, what a great story. Isn’t it interesting, that until we have the real conversation, we make the assumption that our wardrobe will be “repulsive”, only to find out that it was to be embraced. What we determine to be a “kink”, is really only a self expression of our feminine energy. Isn’t it a nice feeling to be yourself with someone who accepts you, as you. I have my masculine side, and professional demeanour, and my girlfriend see’s that when I am in masculine/ business energy. But on the day when she comes home and I am wearing a skirt and blouse, lingerie and lipstick on, she see’s that feminine energy side of me too. Either way, it’s me. It’s just energy. You found someone who understands you. Don’t we really all want the same thing?


I dabbled in crossdressing after my divorce. It was a time of trying to see what I really wanted in the world in terms of my own sexuality. When I met my now fiancée, I decided to really dial back on my “wardrobe” that I had started for myself out of fear that she would find the act repulsive and would only judge me for it. As we opened up more to each other in conversation, I came to find how open she really was and that she would even like to dress me up in certain outfits due to her own sexual desires. She makes me feel safe enough to express a side of me that I have been previously too ashamed, shy, and ultimately scared to show to anybody else. Since opening up about this to her, I introduced her to XDress and she picked out a couple items that the really liked that I ended up buying to surprise her. Her reaction was better than anything I could ever hope for. She was so happy for me that I was able to really express myself and that I trusted her enough to be this open to her. Finally. Now I no longer feel that I have to hide myself away knowing that I have someone that accepts that this is not just what most people may view as a weird kink, but an acceptance of one’s femininity and expression. She acknowledges and loves both aspects of me, masculine and feminine, all the same and that’s all that can be asked for. ♥️


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