What Would She Say?
I truly enjoy contributing to these blogs, appreciate the comments, and I hope that they create thought provoking changes in your mindset. I realize along my journey of reading and writing these blogs it has done many things for me. It has made me realize that I am not alone, there is nothing wrong with me, and that I can build my confidence to share my stories, and hopefully in turn, inspire others to do the same. All we can do is try.
Something recently that has come to mind is what would “she say”? There are many when I have read comments on the blog that they truly enjoy the feeling of wearing lingerie. The enjoyment of the feeling it gives them, it lets them experience the feminine side of themselves, but yet they hide it away from their significant other. Now, understandably so. With my former spouse of many years, if I would have expressed this aspect of myself to her, well, let’s just say that the divorce proceedings would have come a lot faster than they did. I’ll leave it as; I wasn’t allowed the freedom to be myself. Judgment proceedings would have been swift, and the stories around it would have followed. How people love to tell stories. This was the past.
Let’s move into the present, and how I got here. When I met my significant other that I am with now, I made a commitment to myself that I would only be with someone who accepted me, for me, panties and all. (no warts involved). I made a commitment to myself that I would not settle, not hide, and to be with someone who I could share all of me with. Why hide a part of me that found joy, sensuality, and freedom. My way of expressing it is mine, but it truly has no meaning until it’s shared. So, early on when dating, I decided to pull off the band-aid so to speak (place holy shit here), and over a face-time video as I was out of the country, I told her that I enjoyed wearing women’s panties. Then, I waited for the response. Time stalled at this point. To which she responded, well, I would like to see it and experience it for myself and then decide if this was something that I would enjoy and accept. Thus, it was not a no. (place whew here) At that point, I knew that I was dating someone who was opening minded enough to at least consider accepting all of me. So, the journey began. Truth be told, she went to XDress online shortly after and ordered me my first pair of blue Valentina panties. Which we now dub as “the originals”.
Fast forward, she has possibly bought more lingerie on XDress for me than I have. We have gone to brick and mortar stores and bought matching lingerie. Each and every morning when I am home, we pick out each other’s bra and panty sets in the morning and have them at the ready when we get out of the shower. Often, we get ready in the morning together in our bra and panty sets in the bathroom. We have matching nighty and panty sets for bed. The request has come on numerous occasions for me to do a cat walk for her. When the new satin skirts came out from XDress, she was like… so??????? I will say that our intimate times together have gone to a completely new level. If I decide to put on a skirt and clean the house, she decides that cleaning the house is no longer a good idea. You take it from there.
So, to my point. For you are out there, and you know who you are, and if you decided to open up, be vulnerable, and be completely honest with your significant other, what would she say? Do you think that you will be pleasantly surprised by her response? Do you think she would be aghast at the idea? Would you have to explain that you are not gay, you love her, but have a feminine side that needs to be expressed? Would she understand? What would it look like on the other side of one simple question? I know that I have read about the situations where it has worked brilliantly and taken their relationship to a new level. I don’t think that I have read the alternative on these blogs. Would love for you to share your stories. Communities support and learn from each other, why don’t we do that? So, what would she say???
WB
17 comments
Eddy
Thats the best outcome. Sharing with your significant other. Having no secrets and your SO accepting all of you brings incredible intimacy. Deeper love and full freedom to b open in all parts of your life can be a benefit as well
Get your lingerie on!
Stevie
I often wondered about this very question and due to my uncertainty over what the answer might be kept my habit of dressing up in lingerie a secret for many years. My hand was forced one day however, when my wife unexpectedly found me dressed in her lingerie. She had come home early from work and walked into the bedroom where I was busy admiring myself in the mirror wearing her panties, stockings and suspenders, bra and heels. She was clearly shocked and I was horrified and utterly embarrassed. She said quite a lot! And had many questions. I tried to explain and answer her questions as honesty as possible. The interrogation seemed to last hours as I stood there still dressed up the whole time. After I had explained that, no, I wasn’t gay or trans, and was completely comfortable with my own gender, she accepted my explanation that I was merely a man who gets a thrill from wearing women’s underwear. We didn’t discuss the issue for at least a week or so afterwards, but then she raised some more questions. Had I been doing this for long, how did it make me feel, does anyone else know, etc. I explained that I had only ever done this in private and had only started experimenting with lingerie relatively recently (this wasn’t exactly true! but I thought it the best possible answer from her perspective). I told her that when I wear lingerie I get a thrill and feel excited and sensual. I was still feeling extremely embarrassed about her discovery but, to my surprise, she asked me if I could dress up again that evening, but this time not in private but for her to experience too. I readily agreed and spent the afternoon deciding what to wear. That evening we both enjoyed the most exciting and passionate time together. I kept on the lingerie I had dressed up in throughout. Since that day my wife has encouraged me to experiment further and to buy my own lingerie and heels. I now have a drawer of my own full of satin, lace, stockings, etc. Crossdressing in women’s underwear is no longer my sordid secret. My wife is now a big part of my love of wearing lingerie and we continue to push boundaries, something we both seem to be benefiting from greatly. I’ve just ordered a maid’s dress and am really looking forward to surprising her when it arrives. My crossdressing has become an exciting addition to both of our lives, I hope that continues. Eddy
Gus
Do nothing
If she says something say i got a gentlemans makeover
If she pursues more, introduce the idea of the metrosexual
Hi Gus. That is a bit of a predicament! It made me laugh, but at the same time I really feel for you. My advice would be to come clean about your secret crossdressing alter-ego and be honest about your new eyebrows, with the benefit that you’ll be able to keep them shaped in the feminine style that you seem to like. I’m guessing that advice might not help as you clearly state that you don’t really want your wife to know about your crossdressing. Another option might be to merely pass it off as an attempt to look nice for her. You could get your hair cut into a different style too and explain that you wanted to surprise her with a different look, hence the hair and eyebrows. She might even approve and then you’re home and dry?!!! I’d like to know what you decide and how it goes. Good luck
I crossdress secretly. My wife doesn’t know and I don’t intend to change that, partly out of concern about what she might say. However, I have put myself into a difficult situation and am looking for quick advice. My wife is away for work this week and so I have had the opportunity to dress up every day (I mainly work from home). Yesterday I decided to visit a salon to have a facial, giving myself a clear base to apply my makeup, this being something I do from time to time. While I was at the salon, on impulse, I also asked if the beautician could tidy up my eyebrows and give them a bit of shape. After some waxing and threading I was pleased with the results and after applying makeup later on I felt that I looked great. Today, however, I am looking at myself in the mirror and clearly have very femininely shaped eyebrows. wife is due back in 2 days and I am at a loss over how I might explain my new look. Any thoughts will be greatly welcome. Thanks, Gus
I have enjoyed reading through this discussion, and particularly the comments from the female perspective. I really love dressing up in women’s lingerie and spend many afternoons slowly adorning myself in lace, satin, stockings, etc., and then admiring myself in the mirror. I have shared many pictures of myself dressed up over the internet but have never shared my secret with my wife because I’m worried about what she would say. However Amelia’s story has given me an idea. I’m now waiting for the right moment to do exactly what Amelia’s husband did when he slipped into her panties whilst she slept. I’m hoping for a similar outcome and am excited to see what happens.
Amelia thank u! That’s amazing! Some of us can show comments like these and Sarah’s to our SO’s to help them understand how hot this can be. Get that lingerie on! I did!! Stevie
My husband wears lingerie and I love it. He didn’t do this before the wedding nor through the early years of our marriage, at least not that I knew about. It all started one morning when I woke up next to him and he was wearing the panties I had been wearing the evening before. I was definitely taken aback, somewhat shocked and didn’t know what to say. That being said, I also really enjoyed touching him in his clearly excitable state barely contained in the material and cut off my brazillian style panties. Afterwards I asked him why he had put on my underwear and he passed it off as just a bit of fun, but also that he had been really turned on by the experience. I wanted to know whether he had done this before without me knowing but he said that this was the first time he’d tried it. I wasn’t sure I believed him but it didn’t seem like a big deal really, and so I suggested that we should get him some similar panties of his own, particularly as we’re not quite the same size. A few days later he came to bed wearing some new satin and lace panties and, I have to say, was even more passionate than usual. Over the following weeks and months he bought several more pairs of panties and we both seemed to enjoy it. I realised that I actually find it quite a turn on seeing him wearing women’s panties. Over time he has introduced other items of lingerie and we have developed a habit of both wearing stockings and gently rubbing our legs together. I have a great secure folder on my phone with many pictures of him dressed up in lingerie, with my favourite being the one of him wearing a basque, panties, stockings and some platform heels. I tease him that I could blackmail him with the photos but also that I love having a husband brave enough to push boundaries. More women should be open to the idea of their man wearing women’s underwear. It’s fun, exciting, sexy and risqué. Men also look pretty hot wearing lingerie, at least my one does.
Sarah youbr amazing! Thank u for ur input. Hopefully it will inspire others to b open to their husbands love of lingerie! It can b very sexy ! Very erotic!
From a female point of view. How my SO told me he was interested in women’s lingerie I was at work, I knew he was at my place after a night shift and I got a picture on my break with him in my panties. I was turned on told him how much I enjoyed it and asked him if it was something he has done before. He told me no but thought he would see what I thought. When I got home he was in a pair of my panties and a skirt waiting for me. It was one of the hottest most erratic experiences of my life. From then on I started buying stocking sets for him and over time I discovered xdress. At this point I think he has more “fun clothes” then I do. We all need to learn to open our minds and allow for new experiences. We never know where anything will bring us. I would like to say I feel like this whole experience and sharing has brought us much closer together and I don’t feel like this bond can be broken. Be brave, be you, be beautiful. If they are the right person they will love all of you and will want to explore this side of you as well xoxox
I was so nervous to tell my wife that I wanted to wear women’s panties but I’m so glad I did. At first she was was hesitant to say she didn’t mind if I did and I knew she might think it was weird however now she loves it! At first it was just panties then I surprised her by wearing thigh high stockings with a garter belt . After a while I added a schoolgirl skirt with a crop top and heels she loved the heels! I asked her If I could buy other outfits to wear and she said I could buy anything I wanted so I purchased a complete sissy maid outfit. One afternoon she came home to a clean home, dinner on the tableI, and me dressed as her personal sissy maid, she absolutely loved it all! Know she’ll message me from work and tell me to have something pretty on when she gets home😍I love wearing panties with a matching bra, also love the sexy nighties.
P.S. All of my outfits are from XDress!
Ever since my sister dressed me up in her clothes when I was very little, I have had a fascination with lingerie and women’s clothes. There were times as I grew older I would go to the store and buy bras and panties for my. I did find some men’s clothing line’s resembling lingerie which my wife really liked me to wear. Finding and ordering from Xdress was an easy segue. The first time time I came out in panties AND a bra she was a little shocked but admitted it turned her on. She doesn’t want me to wear a garter belt and stockings and I can live with that. I enjoy posing for her while she takes pictures and I really enjoyed when I am fully dressed and she slowly takes my bra and panties off!
I am a gay man, and this conversation can be an interesting one when dating/meeting guys. While there is certainly more tolerance for femme things in the queer community, there is also a lot of toxic masculinity too. Men either really love it, or immediately shut you down. It’s also interesting to explain when there is so much openness. No, I’m not trans, I’m not gender-fluid, I’m not doing drag, etc. I’m just a gay man that likes to wear panties under his boy clothes.
It was an entirely different story for me. When we were engaged it was just panties that I was interested in, and I did tell her. We both had questions back then. We didn’t know if it meant I were gay or what. She was great and said it wasn’t her thing, but she could try. She set some ground rules, solid colors, no lace, etc. Over time we both changed. My interests grew, hers … didn’t. Now it’s a huge rough spot in our marriage and she hates my dresses and lingerie and makeup, but she sticks with me anyway, and we love each other. C’est la vie, right?
I don’t know what she would say. My wife is great. She’s loving, open minded and supportive, but I’m not sure how she would receive the news that her husband has been secretively wearing women’s underwear, trying out her dresses and occasionally going for full male to female makeovers. I love wearing lingerie (as often as possibly), I love wearing dresses (when I know I won’t be discovered) and love the experience of getting transformed into my female alter ego (including full makeup, wig, lingerie, heels and dresses). I guess it would be a step too far to suddenly introduce myself to her fully transformed, at least without any prior discussion or milder revelation. I’d love to do that but would be happy for her to just see me wearing some panties. But I don’t know what she would say…
Well as u know, some of us have already been down this rd. I had to tell my wife and she stayed with me. We went to couples and individual therapy. She said she had an idea ( from doing my laundry 🧺 that my undies were questionable) I usually do my own.
She asked to see me in something. I chose a lace black panty and bra set.
She said i looked good in it. We had sexy time that one time but never again
One time soon after i asked if i could wear what i want while we were cleaning a room and she said yes. I wore bra panties a v neck top and womens jeans 👖
Another time soon after we went for a pedi together and she picked the color
We re in a dont ask dont tell situation
She knows but not the full extent
Tread carefully if u r going to tell. Read the room
Stevie
Hopefully she would be supportive of your vulnerability. It may not be for everyone but for those who understand and accept, the sky is the limit. You will find new found intimacy and non-judgemental relationships that will only help each of you be better people in this screwed up world. It is tough, I know, but when you get to that point with your SO, you will be sooooo much happier. I would preface that with a bit of caution: It may take the SO a minute to understand. If they truly love you, they will come around but you risk the loss of this SO and that is okay too. Be true to yourself and be happy!