Fantasy vs. Reality

Fantasy vs. Reality

When you place your order on X-Dress, or when your SO makes the request that you put on lingerie, is there a fantasy that goes through your head? What about dressing up fully and going out in public and passing as a woman?  What about having the courage to go into a brick and morter lingerie store and confidently making a purchase for yourself. I wrote about that recently in the blog, Undercover Lingerie Buyer. What are the fantasies that you have, and what is the reality that you live? Is your best kept secret something that you long to share with others?  Have you longed to put on your favorite outfit and leave the house and just go for it?  What do you fantasize about?  

Now, there’s the reality of it all, if you open up pandora’s box full of panties, would it be the point of no return in your relationship?  If you went out in public, would you fear for your life? If you ran into someone you knew, would they look at you the same way again?  If your SO encouraged you to dress up and to share it, and it went sideways, would you feel resentment, and maybe flip back to never wearing lingerie again, yet you would still fantasize about doing so? Where do you find yourself on the fantasy to reality spectrum?

When I started on my journey, I would fantasize about wearing a pair of panties.  It was so taboo, and risqué, and taking the risk was really half the fun.  Once I had some panties and would wear them at home, or when I was away, I would hide it and would never dare to have got caught.  Once I started to get comfortable, my girlfriend says, what about getting a bra?  I was like a hard no at first, then started to fantasize about that. Then, when I got comfortable with that, the garter and stockings came on board. Then, I wonder what it would be like to wear a dress, or a skirt, and lipstick, and having my nails done.  Would a French maids dress be interesting to wear when cleaning the house?  I would then fantasize about shopping for myself. So, over time, my fantasies have turned into reality.  Here I am writing this in my black lingerie, skirt, blouse, nails done, with a very nice bright red lipstick.  Had I never had the courage, or the support, my reality may have never come to be. 

What would you need to turn your fantasy into reality?  Might it be hitting the add to cart on the X-Dress site?  Maybe buying a bra for yourself, cause it was a fantasy that you had? What about wearing something at home to see how it feels?  Maybe, it might be finding that right moment to have the conversation of that fantasy with your SO? How would it feel if your fantasy turned into reality, and you didn’t have to keep it a dirty little secret.  I have read in other blogs where revealing “the secret” turned into a whole new level of relationship, and again, a new reality.  I am so happy that I “broke the news” early in my relationship, because fulfilling my fantasies, and creating my reality, has allowed me to just be me.  It has allowed me to love and accept myself, instead of question why my fantasies existed in the first place, and get stuck. 

So, wouldn’t it be great to share your fantasies?  To be clear, this is not the forum for your sexual ones.  Just saying.  But, what is it that you really want and fantasize about, and how can we, such as the X-Dress community, support you in turning them into reality?  What would you need from people around you to make it happen.  Even better, imagine how it would feel you’re your fantasies and realities align?  Reality can be a wonderful thing.

I can’t wait to read your responses,


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Well like 2 years ago i didnt like girlish things, or pink, and i was real inconfident, then suddenly i lliked pink, it caused an identity crisis, liked it , but hated myself for it, in the meantime i got supportive friends, who encouraged me to dress up, that helped so much, now for like 1 a 2 months im fully embracing it, without double feelings, and i feel liberated.


MN fantasy is fantasy and I have plenty! I do not believe there is such a thing as toxic masculinity! Masculinity has its place: protecting the weak opening doors checking on bumps in the night fighting wars when necessary lifting heavy equipment open jars etc

Dont let the current social commentary call masculinity toxic

We have a role to play in society


I guess I’m weird (but you asked about fantasies so here goes). I fantasize about being forced to crossdress, having pictures taken and being outed. Forced to go out in public etc… Basically having my “toxic masculinity” stripped and trained to become more of a femboy. The excitement of someone recognizing me is intoxicating. But seems like I’m too old for this now which is unfortunate.


Dear Anon

I ve been thinking about u! I went to therapy to understand my desire to crossdress . I learned that there is nothing wrong with it unless it negatively affects ur life

So in that light, is it?

Furthermore you r not a crossdresser! You are many things! You are a person who crossdresses!

Lets dissect it a little

This site make lingerie for men and others. So is it still crossdressing? Food for thought

Also in therapy we came u with ways to crossdress every day!

For me it became toes polished and pedicures, panties from xdress. Occasionally bras too
Womens jeans and sweaters

No one knows! I get my xdressing and no one is the wiser

Just food for thought


Debbie, I am with you about Anon’s post. Anon, don’t give up, and as Debbie says, try some little things. Or maybe, make a side comment to your girlfriend about wearing lingerie, and see what she says. Dip your toe in, as you can always pull it back out.
So Anon, my question to you is, do you se it that you are a “crossdresser”, or maybe you just want to let your feminine energy come out and play? Maybe you just want to be your natural self, and you see it as being something different?
Lat night, I came home and my girlfriend had a matching bra and panty set, garter, stockings, short skirt, and satin top on the bed. Once she did up my garters, she put my lipstick on.
Now, I have never gone out in public, and I may never (I really don’t have a feminine look at all, trust me), but when I am home and get to be myself, and loved for it. It is the best and most liberating feeling. It is possible. Don’t give up.


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