Fantasy vs. Reality

Fantasy vs. Reality

When you place your order on X-Dress, or when your SO makes the request that you put on lingerie, is there a fantasy that goes through your head? What about dressing up fully and going out in public and passing as a woman?  What about having the courage to go into a brick and morter lingerie store and confidently making a purchase for yourself. I wrote about that recently in the blog, Undercover Lingerie Buyer. What are the fantasies that you have, and what is the reality that you live? Is your best kept secret something that you long to share with others?  Have you longed to put on your favorite outfit and leave the house and just go for it?  What do you fantasize about?  

Now, there’s the reality of it all, if you open up pandora’s box full of panties, would it be the point of no return in your relationship?  If you went out in public, would you fear for your life? If you ran into someone you knew, would they look at you the same way again?  If your SO encouraged you to dress up and to share it, and it went sideways, would you feel resentment, and maybe flip back to never wearing lingerie again, yet you would still fantasize about doing so? Where do you find yourself on the fantasy to reality spectrum?

When I started on my journey, I would fantasize about wearing a pair of panties.  It was so taboo, and risqué, and taking the risk was really half the fun.  Once I had some panties and would wear them at home, or when I was away, I would hide it and would never dare to have got caught.  Once I started to get comfortable, my girlfriend says, what about getting a bra?  I was like a hard no at first, then started to fantasize about that. Then, when I got comfortable with that, the garter and stockings came on board. Then, I wonder what it would be like to wear a dress, or a skirt, and lipstick, and having my nails done.  Would a French maids dress be interesting to wear when cleaning the house?  I would then fantasize about shopping for myself. So, over time, my fantasies have turned into reality.  Here I am writing this in my black lingerie, skirt, blouse, nails done, with a very nice bright red lipstick.  Had I never had the courage, or the support, my reality may have never come to be. 

What would you need to turn your fantasy into reality?  Might it be hitting the add to cart on the X-Dress site?  Maybe buying a bra for yourself, cause it was a fantasy that you had? What about wearing something at home to see how it feels?  Maybe, it might be finding that right moment to have the conversation of that fantasy with your SO? How would it feel if your fantasy turned into reality, and you didn’t have to keep it a dirty little secret.  I have read in other blogs where revealing “the secret” turned into a whole new level of relationship, and again, a new reality.  I am so happy that I “broke the news” early in my relationship, because fulfilling my fantasies, and creating my reality, has allowed me to just be me.  It has allowed me to love and accept myself, instead of question why my fantasies existed in the first place, and get stuck. 

So, wouldn’t it be great to share your fantasies?  To be clear, this is not the forum for your sexual ones.  Just saying.  But, what is it that you really want and fantasize about, and how can we, such as the X-Dress community, support you in turning them into reality?  What would you need from people around you to make it happen.  Even better, imagine how it would feel you’re your fantasies and realities align?  Reality can be a wonderful thing.

I can’t wait to read your responses,


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Feel so sad reading anons post. There are small things you can do to fulfil some of your fantasies or at least meet them part way. I’ve shaved the lower half of my legs, underarms and bikini area for some time now and it’s really not looked on as being odd anymore. I also have my eyebrows shaped by my wife. All these things make you feel just a little bit closer to your dream. I wear XD panties everyday under my male clothing without anyone realising and it makes me feel more in touch with my feminine side. I also wear XD nighties in bed along with a nice sexy pair of satin and lace panties and that too means I get sometime being what I want and who I want without anyone judging. Isn’t it such a shame that everyone is conditioned to believing that gorgeous pretty underwear should be exclusively for girls why shouldn’t us guys enjoy feeling pretty too? Try some of these ideas to get your toe in the water. My wife is very understanding of my need to dress as a female occasionally so I am able to glam myself up every now and then with lingerie, heels, skirts and make up and for that time so feel alive and a million dollars and so liberated. Just wish I could pluck up courage to go out like it. Don’t give up on your fantasy Anon try bite size steps see where it takes you and just how good you. feel Debbie.


Dressing in dresses and heels and undies from xdress; basically whatever I want when I want
Some sexual not to b discussed here

Polishing my toes
Light makeup


My crossdressing fantasies are many, but I’ve never turned any into reality. I dream about wearing women’s underwear, about telling my girlfriend about my desire and dressing up in lingerie together, I fantasize about wearing a dress, heels and makeup, about shaving my legs and putting on a pair of stockings, about being transformed before going out en-femme, about being forcibly feminized by a woman or group of women, about getting my eyebrows shaped and having eyelash extensions… I could go on. I often wonder why I have these fantasies but have never found an answer. I haven’t dared to try and make any of my fantasies become reality mainly because I find it hard to admit to myself that I am a crossdresser. I can’t help but feel ashamed about it, and so will probably just continue to fantasize only.


I am lucky to have a very understanding wife with regard to my cross dressing. I often have a ‘dressing- up’ day at home when I go the whole hog and wear not only my XD lingerie but also skirts and a sexy top or a dress. I add stockings, bra (I prefer an under wired one and buy these either on-line or by going into a store) and finish off with a gorgeous pair of shoes my red heeled stilettos are my favorites. I absolutely love dressing as a woman and feeling feminine, but my absolute fantasy would be to feel able to go out occasionally dressed as Debbie not just only at fancy dress parties. I really want to show off my other self but just know that some of my friends and relatives wouldn’t look at me in the same way again or understand my desire to dress as a woman. I know I shouldn’t care what other people think, and so admire others who have had the courage to come out as a cross dresser. Perhaps one day I’ll pluck up enough courage to fulfil my fantasy. Debbie


Excellent theme! Fantasy and reality are two distinct aspects of our experience. Finding a healthy balance between these two can be fundamental to a fulfilling life. I’m gay and I love feeling like a woman. Throughout this process I had several fantasies, some I managed to fulfill, others I didn’t. I have always been careful not to harm my family and the people around me at work. On vacation or when I’m abroad, I raise the bar a little with more transparent clothing so you can see the panties and bra. I had the fantasy of trying on a bikini on the beach! I talked to my boyfriend about it and as always he was supportive, it was a wonderful experience. I don’t think I’ll ever use anything else again. Kisses. Francisca


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