Hello loyal readers! Today I would like to discuss the topic of femininity/masculinity, and how to find the perfect balance between them in our daily lives as men.
Now I am in the minority in this regard, as I am able to exude my femininity on a consistent basis within the workplace as well as my personal life. However, this comes with several challenges. One of the most notable is the fact that most individuals think that just because I wear skirts and dresses that I am incapable of stereotypical masculine tasks/roles.
For example, in my most recent visit with my mom and stepdad, I was wearing a velvet mini skirt. My stepdad was trying to carry some packages from the car, and didn't even ask for my help even though he had in the past when I used to dress "normally". I had to insist on helping, which was a shock to him. These situations truly portray how people's minds can change based on what we wear, and it's up to us to prove that in the end, they are just clothes and do not change what we are capable of.
Now many of you that are reading this most likely hold esteemed positions in a professional environment, which preclude you from presenting completely feminine. I've read a lot of your comments and most of you seem to have struck a good balance already, perhaps by adding light makeup and minimal jewelry, in addition to underdressing. However, there are extra steps you can take that still provide a good balance without being overly feminine. This can be done by adding clothing items that are considered unisex.
XDress offers several options that fit this description, such as the Simply Stripes Bodysuit, the Shadow Stripe Bodysuit, and The Ribbed Striped Camisole. These items would not be suitable for a professional environment however, so if that is what you are shopping for then perhaps a trip to a brick and mortar store is in order. Many women's slacks and button-ups look quite unisex, with many feminine colors/designs available that are not too risque. Take that next step up and you will not regret it!
Now many of you like myself, are in committed heterosexual relationships. With this comes several other challenges as well. The primary one, in my opinion, is making sure to not overshadow your wife/girlfriend's femininity. Most women hate it when other women wear the same clothes as them, so it's important to develop your own style that doesn't resemble your significant others'.
In addition to this, you cannot be critical of her choices in style or clothing. For example, there are times I want to see my girlfriend wear a beautiful skirt with heels and stockings, but she wants to wear jeans. In this case, it is best to keep your thoughts to yourself. The reason being that she lets you wear what you want, and you need to do the same. Lastly, always remind her that you are the man. Hold the door for her, buy her flowers, treat her to dinner, etc. It will be much easier for her to accept this side of you when you still fulfill certain masculine roles.
To conclude, being feminine is a wonderful thing that we all can agree makes us feel wholesome. Just always remember to not go into overdrive, and maintain that feminine/masculine balance. Doing so will keep your relationships, whether professional or personal, much healthier and free of negativity.
That does it for this one! So what kind of difficulties do you all face by being feminine? How do incorporate that balance into your life? This is a very serious topic so I'd love to hear from you all!
-Nathan
17 comments
Hi Nathan – you are right. It is a very important topic.
Looks-wise, I think you get it 100% right with your models. They are not hyper-feminised but are presented as guys who are comfortable with (recently) traditional feminine accents to a male physique.
Psycologically I think the constructs of feminine and masculine attitudes split by biological gender are inappropriate and outdated. Behaviourally I identify as more feminine than masculine and consider that an essential part of who I am. I’m totally comfortable with feeling more like one of the girls than one of the boys. But that doesn’t mean I need to wear skirts, wigs and high heels all the time. Underdressing in something pretty and a nod to softness and beauty in my make-up and outers is quite OK for me.
Great topic. Really interested to hear what others have to say.
Ally x
I think that you are beautiful and think all Ladies genetic born or not should be treated as a queen. Nathan are you married or have a significant other and would love if the site would do a chat room and a gallery