Hello loyal readers! Today I would like to discuss the topic of femininity/masculinity, and how to find the perfect balance between them in our daily lives as men.
Now I am in the minority in this regard, as I am able to exude my femininity on a consistent basis within the workplace as well as my personal life. However, this comes with several challenges. One of the most notable is the fact that most individuals think that just because I wear skirts and dresses that I am incapable of stereotypical masculine tasks/roles.
For example, in my most recent visit with my mom and stepdad, I was wearing a velvet mini skirt. My stepdad was trying to carry some packages from the car, and didn't even ask for my help even though he had in the past when I used to dress "normally". I had to insist on helping, which was a shock to him. These situations truly portray how people's minds can change based on what we wear, and it's up to us to prove that in the end, they are just clothes and do not change what we are capable of.
Now many of you that are reading this most likely hold esteemed positions in a professional environment, which preclude you from presenting completely feminine. I've read a lot of your comments and most of you seem to have struck a good balance already, perhaps by adding light makeup and minimal jewelry, in addition to underdressing. However, there are extra steps you can take that still provide a good balance without being overly feminine. This can be done by adding clothing items that are considered unisex.
XDress offers several options that fit this description, such as the Simply Stripes Bodysuit, the Shadow Stripe Bodysuit, and The Ribbed Striped Camisole. These items would not be suitable for a professional environment however, so if that is what you are shopping for then perhaps a trip to a brick and mortar store is in order. Many women's slacks and button-ups look quite unisex, with many feminine colors/designs available that are not too risque. Take that next step up and you will not regret it!
Now many of you like myself, are in committed heterosexual relationships. With this comes several other challenges as well. The primary one, in my opinion, is making sure to not overshadow your wife/girlfriend's femininity. Most women hate it when other women wear the same clothes as them, so it's important to develop your own style that doesn't resemble your significant others'.
In addition to this, you cannot be critical of her choices in style or clothing. For example, there are times I want to see my girlfriend wear a beautiful skirt with heels and stockings, but she wants to wear jeans. In this case, it is best to keep your thoughts to yourself. The reason being that she lets you wear what you want, and you need to do the same. Lastly, always remind her that you are the man. Hold the door for her, buy her flowers, treat her to dinner, etc. It will be much easier for her to accept this side of you when you still fulfill certain masculine roles.
To conclude, being feminine is a wonderful thing that we all can agree makes us feel wholesome. Just always remember to not go into overdrive, and maintain that feminine/masculine balance. Doing so will keep your relationships, whether professional or personal, much healthier and free of negativity.
That does it for this one! So what kind of difficulties do you all face by being feminine? How do incorporate that balance into your life? This is a very serious topic so I'd love to hear from you all!
-Nathan
17 comments
Hello everyone!
I’ve love reading all your responses! It seems we all have come to a general consensus on this topic, being that most of time we present ourselves fairly androgynously, but there are times we want to be completely feminine!
I think Ally made a great statement, one that is just completely dead on that I will share for others to see: “Psycologically I think the constructs of feminine and masculine attitudes split by biological gender are inappropriate and outdated.”
This is so true! Our biological parts have no effect on our mentality our how we “should” present ourselves, and I’m so happy that this is becoming more and more accepted in today’s age. Have a lovely day everyone, and thanks again for your responses!
-Nathan
Hi all
Sure I’ve lady dressed from my teen age, I wear in secret garter and all other accessories, it’s be for me unbelievable of kind sensations. I’m single I dress up in skirt, brief, and dress as soon as possible and at weekend I’m totally in woman’s clothes. It feels so cool on ! Why society doesn’t accept this way ? I’m not gay, but friendly gay and be wear what I love! enjoy all !
I consider myself a straight man and have been married to a beautiful woman for 25 years. But I have a hidden fem side that I try to live when I get the chance. My wife knows I have been a crossdresser in the past and hated it. I tried to explain that it is something I love doing when I’m by myself. I dress for the pleasure it gives me. She still doesn’t understand so I have to do it when she is not around.
I love wearing lingerie (panties, bra, stocking or pantyhose). The feeling of feminine items on my body make me so happy. It gives me such a release from my stress filled day.
I also like to enjoy what everyone considers a womans cigarette while I dress. Putting on lipstick and enjoying a long, slim, all white girly cig makes me feel so sexy. I know it’s a bad habit but when I dress it just adds that extra femininity to me..
Thanks to this site for letting me talk but also look at all the amazing things you have for ladies like us.
Nathan,
I just re-read your really great and insightful column and the wonderful comments sent in. I’m a very masculine looking guy. I live in the world as a man. My girlfriend always knows she’s the woman in the room. It’s doubtful other people would suspect that I wear sexy XDress panties everyday and, at times, loungewear at home. Until I came across the XDress website I never thought about wearing femme undergarments. But, seeing them just threw a switch and I just had to have some (I have about 45 now). When I received my first few panties I was apprehensive about wearing them under my regular clothes outside, but the enjoyment I felt from wearing them won over my apprehension. I’m thinking of trying a bra or some other sexy thing… Since I live with my girlfriend, I’ve introduced my “passion” for femme undergarments slowly. Now, she sometimes asks to see what panties I’m wearing.
Hi everyone
Great topic once again. I was waiting until I had time to chime in.
Balancing femininity is a tricky thing especially if you cant be open. At the same time if you want to express some femininity then you have a high wire act indeed
So important to be the man your SO married or decided to be with. If you can do that, alleviate their stress what ever that may be and be honest with them early (easier said than done ) then you can have a willing partner to share this important part of you.
Now back on topic, i balance it by underdressing and polishing my toes.
I’ve completely switched to panties with occasional bras; now i wear women’s jeans mostly and women’s sweaters
I also added light make up: foundation, concealer and mascara with eyebrow shaping and filling
Wheres the balance? Well i m still all guy with a goateee mowing lawn fixing things around the house catching mice in the garage taking out the garbage and all the other “traditional guy stuff”
Awesome topic
As always I really appreciate the ability to talk to you all on this forum , it’s truly THERAPEUTIC
Wear something pretty today, I am
Stevie