Hello loyal readers! Today I would like to discuss the topic of femininity/masculinity, and how to find the perfect balance between them in our daily lives as men.
Now I am in the minority in this regard, as I am able to exude my femininity on a consistent basis within the workplace as well as my personal life. However, this comes with several challenges. One of the most notable is the fact that most individuals think that just because I wear skirts and dresses that I am incapable of stereotypical masculine tasks/roles.
For example, in my most recent visit with my mom and stepdad, I was wearing a velvet mini skirt. My stepdad was trying to carry some packages from the car, and didn't even ask for my help even though he had in the past when I used to dress "normally". I had to insist on helping, which was a shock to him. These situations truly portray how people's minds can change based on what we wear, and it's up to us to prove that in the end, they are just clothes and do not change what we are capable of.
Now many of you that are reading this most likely hold esteemed positions in a professional environment, which preclude you from presenting completely feminine. I've read a lot of your comments and most of you seem to have struck a good balance already, perhaps by adding light makeup and minimal jewelry, in addition to underdressing. However, there are extra steps you can take that still provide a good balance without being overly feminine. This can be done by adding clothing items that are considered unisex.
XDress offers several options that fit this description, such as the Simply Stripes Bodysuit, the Shadow Stripe Bodysuit, and The Ribbed Striped Camisole. These items would not be suitable for a professional environment however, so if that is what you are shopping for then perhaps a trip to a brick and mortar store is in order. Many women's slacks and button-ups look quite unisex, with many feminine colors/designs available that are not too risque. Take that next step up and you will not regret it!
Now many of you like myself, are in committed heterosexual relationships. With this comes several other challenges as well. The primary one, in my opinion, is making sure to not overshadow your wife/girlfriend's femininity. Most women hate it when other women wear the same clothes as them, so it's important to develop your own style that doesn't resemble your significant others'.
In addition to this, you cannot be critical of her choices in style or clothing. For example, there are times I want to see my girlfriend wear a beautiful skirt with heels and stockings, but she wants to wear jeans. In this case, it is best to keep your thoughts to yourself. The reason being that she lets you wear what you want, and you need to do the same. Lastly, always remind her that you are the man. Hold the door for her, buy her flowers, treat her to dinner, etc. It will be much easier for her to accept this side of you when you still fulfill certain masculine roles.
To conclude, being feminine is a wonderful thing that we all can agree makes us feel wholesome. Just always remember to not go into overdrive, and maintain that feminine/masculine balance. Doing so will keep your relationships, whether professional or personal, much healthier and free of negativity.
That does it for this one! So what kind of difficulties do you all face by being feminine? How do incorporate that balance into your life? This is a very serious topic so I'd love to hear from you all!
-Nathan
17 comments
Hi Nathan. Great blog and an excellent topic. It is all about striking a balance. I tend to mainly underdress in everyday life especially since I have to wear a suit to work and my underdressing is not noticeable. On days off and on weekends and vacation I can get a little more daring when around the house. Skirt and blouse along with pantyhose, high heels and light make-up like I am wearing now. Interested in hearing more comments.
Nathan, you are so spot on with this blog! I have always maintained that those of us who are blessed with accepting and supportive wives must be careful not to upstage our wives. Their femininity is a basic part of who they are, and, as their husbands, we must celebrate that wonderful core of who they are! While we who are supported by our wonderful wives are free to fully express the inner woman who is an important part of who we are, we must remember that our wives married the man that we are, and she is in need of that man. Open doors for her, help her to seat herself, bring her flowers, complement her on that new hairdo and, importantly, be her protector. Be her man, and at the same time, celebrate being her girlfriend! As you so wisely titled this blog, Nathan, it is all about balance.
Fond regards,
Angie
Great blog Nathan, thanks for sharing! You are so right about not upstaging or upsetting your GF/wife. Like you, I’m in a committed long-standing heterosexual relationship and have learned- the hard way – that it is not a good idea to show her up, to put it mildly. Most of the time, like 98% of the time, it’s not an issue, because as I’ve previously mentioned, I’m in a professional job so the andro look works well for me, and my co workers are very accepting. However, as Stevie said in a previous blog, sometimes the gurl in us just wants to bust out all over! Usually my GF is OK with it, even turned on by it, but other times she wants to be the lead femme dog, so I just back off and let her go.
Anyway as Stevie says, wear something pretty today. I’m rocking panties, thigh highs and pumps as I write this! Oh and stay safe while we battle through this COVID19 crazyness.
Hello Ally
I completely agree. From an early age I felt I was more of a girl than a boy. over time I completely took on my feminine side and I consider myself a woman. However, society makes it impossible for us to express our side openly. Like Ally, I don’t need to wear a wig, mini skirt, dresses or high heels to feel more like a woman. I always wear briefs especially dental floss and in privacy I am completely a woman. and I manage my feminine / masculine duality.
Best Regards Francisca.
Hello Nathan
Congratulations for the excellent topic you brought to the blog. Especially since we can speak openly on our femme side. I discovered my feminine side at an early age and it developed over time, and with the two boyfriends I had encouraged me to be a woman. As I said here, I opened my heart to an older person with whom I have a relationship and encourages me to be a woman. In my life, as I live in a conservative country and belong to a traditional family just like my husband has two children and grandchildren, it is not easy. But I have lived well and I think I have balanced my femininity / masculinity. In my day to day I use normal clothes and lingerie in my privacy I am a complete woman and I make a gala about being a woman. So I live with my husband and we are happy without hurting anyone’s susceptibility.
Nuno.