Balancing Femininity

Hello loyal readers! Today I would like to discuss the topic of femininity/masculinity, and how to find the perfect balance between them in our daily lives as men.

Now I am in the minority in this regard, as I am able to exude my femininity on a consistent basis within the workplace as well as my personal life. However, this comes with several challenges. One of the most notable is the fact that most individuals think that just because I wear skirts and dresses that I am incapable of stereotypical masculine tasks/roles.

For example, in my most recent visit with my mom and stepdad, I was wearing a velvet mini skirt. My stepdad was trying to carry some packages from the car, and didn't even ask for my help even though he had in the past when I used to dress "normally". I had to insist on helping, which was a shock to him. These situations truly portray how people's minds can change based on what we wear, and it's up to us to prove that in the end, they are just clothes and do not change what we are capable of.

Now many of you that are reading this most likely hold esteemed positions in a professional environment, which preclude you from presenting completely feminine. I've read a lot of your comments and most of you seem to have struck a good balance already, perhaps by adding light makeup and minimal jewelry, in addition to underdressing. However, there are extra steps you can take that still provide a good balance without being overly feminine. This can be done by adding clothing items that are considered unisex.

XDress offers several options that fit this description, such as the Simply Stripes Bodysuit, the Shadow Stripe Bodysuit, and The Ribbed Striped Camisole. These items would not be suitable for a professional environment however, so if that is what you are shopping for then perhaps a trip to a brick and mortar store is in order. Many women's slacks and button-ups look quite unisex, with many feminine colors/designs available that are not too risque. Take that next step up and you will not regret it!

Now many of you like myself, are in committed heterosexual relationships. With this comes several other challenges as well. The primary one, in my opinion, is making sure to not overshadow your wife/girlfriend's femininity. Most women hate it when other women wear the same clothes as them, so it's important to develop your own style that doesn't resemble your significant others'.

In addition to this, you cannot be critical of her choices in style or clothing. For example, there are times I want to see my girlfriend wear a beautiful skirt with heels and stockings, but she wants to wear jeans. In this case, it is best to keep your thoughts to yourself. The reason being that she lets you wear what you want, and you need to do the same. Lastly, always remind her that you are the man. Hold the door for her, buy her flowers, treat her to dinner, etc. It will be much easier for her to accept this side of you when you still fulfill certain masculine roles.

To conclude, being feminine is a wonderful thing that we all can agree makes us feel wholesome. Just always remember to not go into overdrive, and maintain that feminine/masculine balance. Doing so will keep your relationships, whether professional or personal, much healthier and free of negativity.

That does it for this one! So what kind of difficulties do you all face by being feminine? How do incorporate that balance into your life? This is a very serious topic so I'd love to hear from you all!



Interesting that after yesterday’s blog (July 5th, 2023) they posted a link to this blog. While I agree with elements from both, there are definite contrasts, and areas that contradict each other between the posts. Nathan says to develop your own style that doesn’t resemble your significant other’s, but WB soaks of matching panties and lingerie. It just goes to show that what works for one person may not work for the next person. We are all individuals, as are our spouses/wives/husbands, girlfriends/boyfriends, significant others.

As far as the balance goes, I’m in the military, so my wardrobe is not only fairly masculine (though, in a sense it’s sort of unisex, because the females wear the same uniforms in many instances), but it’s also picked for me nearly every day. So, of course, I’m always wearing a bra and panties under my uniform. I push the boundaries some, where I can, but for the most it’s hard to have any balance in my life.

R. July 06, 2023
I’m very happy with the balance I’ve struck, mainly because it’s only ever been about wearing feminine underwear. I select the girliest lace panties (and occasionally stocking and suspender belt), but that’s all I’ve ever really been into. My outer appearance is quite plain, jeans, t shirts/ shirts, plain shoes or boots, which belies the sexy panties I wear underneath. I wear quite tight jeans without a belt which poses a bit of risk with VPL and panty peek.

I did occasionally wear stockings and a suspender belt out, but I was very conscious of the strap clips showing through my jeans, so it was quite obvious I was wearing them. so now I just stick to lace panties, which I wear everywhere, 24/7 except in the shower, but they’re always the last ting to come off, and the first thing I put on.

I don’t wear pink shirts, but love wearing my pink soft lace g strings, and it doesn’t get much more feminine than that.

Jeremy January 07, 2021

I only wear feminen clothes underkneeth in outdoors infront of other people. I only expose them infront of other cross dressers. I don’t wear make up at all. I workout, I am a strong tough man. I don’t wear dresses, but wear night dresses at night. Otherwise only panties and bodysuits. If I swim in a private swiming pool alone or with other cross dressers, I wear a one piece swimsuit.

Peter September 05, 2020

I balance femininity and masculinity throughout the day. I am very many outwardly. Love working with my hands, building things, tearing things down, fixing motors, etc. but I feel very feminine towards the end of the day. Like to shower and be clean, smell good and relax in comfortable clothes, like XDress or Body Aware manties. Sometimes I wear them throughout the day but sometimes the work I am doing isn’t really fit for satin manties.

Scott August 15, 2020

I Love to wear thongs and women underwear , my girlfriend was little confused at first ..but as explaining and further understanding she enjoys me in them #straight #crossdress

Leon May 05, 2020

Hello everyone!

I’ve love reading all your responses! It seems we all have come to a general consensus on this topic, being that most of time we present ourselves fairly androgynously, but there are times we want to be completely feminine!

I think Ally made a great statement, one that is just completely dead on that I will share for others to see: “Psycologically I think the constructs of feminine and masculine attitudes split by biological gender are inappropriate and outdated.”

This is so true! Our biological parts have no effect on our mentality our how we “should” present ourselves, and I’m so happy that this is becoming more and more accepted in today’s age. Have a lovely day everyone, and thanks again for your responses!


Nathan April 02, 2020

Hi all
Sure I’ve lady dressed from my teen age, I wear in secret garter and all other accessories, it’s be for me unbelievable of kind sensations. I’m single I dress up in skirt, brief, and dress as soon as possible and at weekend I’m totally in woman’s clothes. It feels so cool on ! Why society doesn’t accept this way ? I’m not gay, but friendly gay and be wear what I love! enjoy all !

francky March 29, 2020

I consider myself a straight man and have been married to a beautiful woman for 25 years. But I have a hidden fem side that I try to live when I get the chance. My wife knows I have been a crossdresser in the past and hated it. I tried to explain that it is something I love doing when I’m by myself. I dress for the pleasure it gives me. She still doesn’t understand so I have to do it when she is not around.
I love wearing lingerie (panties, bra, stocking or pantyhose). The feeling of feminine items on my body make me so happy. It gives me such a release from my stress filled day.
I also like to enjoy what everyone considers a womans cigarette while I dress. Putting on lipstick and enjoying a long, slim, all white girly cig makes me feel so sexy. I know it’s a bad habit but when I dress it just adds that extra femininity to me..
Thanks to this site for letting me talk but also look at all the amazing things you have for ladies like us.

Jaclyn March 22, 2020

I just re-read your really great and insightful column and the wonderful comments sent in. I’m a very masculine looking guy. I live in the world as a man. My girlfriend always knows she’s the woman in the room. It’s doubtful other people would suspect that I wear sexy XDress panties everyday and, at times, loungewear at home. Until I came across the XDress website I never thought about wearing femme undergarments. But, seeing them just threw a switch and I just had to have some (I have about 45 now). When I received my first few panties I was apprehensive about wearing them under my regular clothes outside, but the enjoyment I felt from wearing them won over my apprehension. I’m thinking of trying a bra or some other sexy thing… Since I live with my girlfriend, I’ve introduced my “passion” for femme undergarments slowly. Now, she sometimes asks to see what panties I’m wearing.

Mark March 20, 2020

Hi everyone
Great topic once again. I was waiting until I had time to chime in.
Balancing femininity is a tricky thing especially if you cant be open. At the same time if you want to express some femininity then you have a high wire act indeed

So important to be the man your SO married or decided to be with. If you can do that, alleviate their stress what ever that may be and be honest with them early (easier said than done ) then you can have a willing partner to share this important part of you.

Now back on topic, i balance it by underdressing and polishing my toes.
I’ve completely switched to panties with occasional bras; now i wear women’s jeans mostly and women’s sweaters
I also added light make up: foundation, concealer and mascara with eyebrow shaping and filling

Wheres the balance? Well i m still all guy with a goateee mowing lawn fixing things around the house catching mice in the garage taking out the garbage and all the other “traditional guy stuff”

Awesome topic
As always I really appreciate the ability to talk to you all on this forum , it’s truly THERAPEUTIC

Wear something pretty today, I am


Stevie March 20, 2020

Hi Nathan. Great blog and an excellent topic. It is all about striking a balance. I tend to mainly underdress in everyday life especially since I have to wear a suit to work and my underdressing is not noticeable. On days off and on weekends and vacation I can get a little more daring when around the house. Skirt and blouse along with pantyhose, high heels and light make-up like I am wearing now. Interested in hearing more comments.

Randy March 20, 2020

Nathan, you are so spot on with this blog! I have always maintained that those of us who are blessed with accepting and supportive wives must be careful not to upstage our wives. Their femininity is a basic part of who they are, and, as their husbands, we must celebrate that wonderful core of who they are! While we who are supported by our wonderful wives are free to fully express the inner woman who is an important part of who we are, we must remember that our wives married the man that we are, and she is in need of that man. Open doors for her, help her to seat herself, bring her flowers, complement her on that new hairdo and, importantly, be her protector. Be her man, and at the same time, celebrate being her girlfriend! As you so wisely titled this blog, Nathan, it is all about balance.

Fond regards,

Angie March 19, 2020

Great blog Nathan, thanks for sharing! You are so right about not upstaging or upsetting your GF/wife. Like you, I’m in a committed long-standing heterosexual relationship and have learned- the hard way – that it is not a good idea to show her up, to put it mildly. Most of the time, like 98% of the time, it’s not an issue, because as I’ve previously mentioned, I’m in a professional job so the andro look works well for me, and my co workers are very accepting. However, as Stevie said in a previous blog, sometimes the gurl in us just wants to bust out all over! Usually my GF is OK with it, even turned on by it, but other times she wants to be the lead femme dog, so I just back off and let her go.

Anyway as Stevie says, wear something pretty today. I’m rocking panties, thigh highs and pumps as I write this! Oh and stay safe while we battle through this COVID19 crazyness.

Kyrstin March 18, 2020

Hello Ally

I completely agree. From an early age I felt I was more of a girl than a boy. over time I completely took on my feminine side and I consider myself a woman. However, society makes it impossible for us to express our side openly. Like Ally, I don’t need to wear a wig, mini skirt, dresses or high heels to feel more like a woman. I always wear briefs especially dental floss and in privacy I am completely a woman. and I manage my feminine / masculine duality.
Best Regards Francisca.

Nuno March 18, 2020

Hello Nathan

Congratulations for the excellent topic you brought to the blog. Especially since we can speak openly on our femme side. I discovered my feminine side at an early age and it developed over time, and with the two boyfriends I had encouraged me to be a woman. As I said here, I opened my heart to an older person with whom I have a relationship and encourages me to be a woman. In my life, as I live in a conservative country and belong to a traditional family just like my husband has two children and grandchildren, it is not easy. But I have lived well and I think I have balanced my femininity / masculinity. In my day to day I use normal clothes and lingerie in my privacy I am a complete woman and I make a gala about being a woman. So I live with my husband and we are happy without hurting anyone’s susceptibility.


Nuno March 18, 2020

Hi Nathan – you are right. It is a very important topic.
Looks-wise, I think you get it 100% right with your models. They are not hyper-feminised but are presented as guys who are comfortable with (recently) traditional feminine accents to a male physique.
Psycologically I think the constructs of feminine and masculine attitudes split by biological gender are inappropriate and outdated. Behaviourally I identify as more feminine than masculine and consider that an essential part of who I am. I’m totally comfortable with feeling more like one of the girls than one of the boys. But that doesn’t mean I need to wear skirts, wigs and high heels all the time. Underdressing in something pretty and a nod to softness and beauty in my make-up and outers is quite OK for me.
Great topic. Really interested to hear what others have to say.
Ally x

Ally March 18, 2020

I think that you are beautiful and think all Ladies genetic born or not should be treated as a queen. Nathan are you married or have a significant other and would love if the site would do a chat room and a gallery

Edward March 18, 2020

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