What's Your Femme Personality?
For most of us, I'm sure that we all experience a complete mood shift simply by the act of crossdressing. Regardless of why you dress, it's a wonderful feeling that is hard to let go in any situation. Just think: would you be happier at an event you were dragged to if you were crossdressed? I would say yes, and I'm sure you all can agree. For me personally, I am happier while dressed because I am completely content. How I dress is a part of me, and being able to express it without shame is vital to my well-being.
How many of you can remember a specific time you took that risk, and fully dressed up to go out? For those who haven't, a feeling of complete and unrestricted euphoria awaits you. Now, none of this is to say that the act of underdressing isn't just as euphoric. There will always be situations where we must fulfill masculine roles, in which underdressing becomes the only option. It's during these times, that we truly realize and appreciate that simply wearing a bra and panties can elevate our happiness to a peak as nothing else can.
Aside from simply making us happier, I sincerely believe that cross-dressing has the ability to make us all better people. The inherent delicate nature that comes along with femininity is echoed in our personalities. How many of you noticed that you became more empathic, patient, and caring since you started crossdressing? These virtues are nothing to be ashamed of, rather, they should be embraced and incorporated into our daily lives. When we do this, our relationships with not just lovers, but friends and family improve as well.
Women often are referred to as the gentler sex, and this isn't just in regards to physicality. This also refers to their naturally caring and nurturing personalities, which makes them typically more polite and kind. Of course, there are extremes to everything, and of course, men possess these qualities as well. However, I have encountered countless men who are rather curt when discussing their emotions or problems. I believe this is due to the fact that most men are conditioned from a young age to just "deal with it" and act the tough guy when it comes to their problems and social interactions. An obvious example of this conditioning is that women greet each other with a hug while men shake hands.
For true inner peace to be achieved, we must all have balance in our lives. Embracing the benefits crossdressing has on our personalities ironically makes us better men, by enabling us to become better communicators, listeners, and companions. I have noticed a wonderful change in my relationship since I began crossdressing daily, as my girlfriend and I are able to connect and communicate on a much deeper level.
Of course, it is also lovely being able to discuss clothes, shoes, and makeup with our other feminine companions. The world of fashion offers limitless possibilities for expression, and it should not be limited by sex. Simply by crossdressing, we also become more accustomed to the standards of fashion and beauty, and can further empathize with the struggles that women have. The amount of effort it takes to have that hourglass figure, or flawless skin, is something most men do not understand.
As you can see, the benefits of crossdressing expand far beyond just feelings of happiness or euphoria. For some, crossdressing can be hard to understand. When people began to realize how it changes us for the better, it becomes far easier to accept.
So that concludes this blog! I think this is a very important topic, as most people just associate crossdressing with the clothing itself and not the emotional benefits that come along with it. What are your thoughts? Has your personality changed for the better since you began crossdressing? Have your relationships improved as a result? I'm very excited to get this discussion going!
-Nathan
26 comments
Hi, Nathan
I am a little late coming to your blog, but I really enjoyed your thoughts about crossdressing and femininity. There are so many reasons why some men are attracted to wearing female attire. I am not at all surprised to read about the experiences of straight men here, but I have generally assumed that most straight men crossdress as a fetish. I am happy you bring out the balance and fulfillment that femininity and crossdressing brings to you and others. I am an older masculine gay man that never dreamed that one day I would fall into the orbit of crossdressing. I have met other gay and transwomen who dress for either drag or completing the process they need. For me, being raised in the country, such behavior was absolutey forbidden. Even when I came out many years ago, I had no desire to dress up, so much has our culture looked down upon it. Now I am deeply drawn to my femme side, without changing my regular masculine appearance or behaviour. That said, as I write wearing my pretty pink ruffled panties with a huge pink bow, I feel so liberated and free. I have bought several panties, the lacier the better, and have bras and a chemise on order. It’s like a whole hidden part of me has decided to do another coming out. I doubt that I could ever feel comfortable in full drag, at least in public, but I am delighted wearing my new men’s lingerie, and XDress is such a great company, so, I wear them, if not in public, then at home. I have never told anyone else about this yet. I do feel comfortable wearing my panties under my jeans, and it makes me happy. Yes, it does bring the femme out in me. Who knows where this will lead? I can’t wait to get my new bras and enjoy them. By the way, the bras and panty set you are wearing in these pictures are so pretty, especially the blue set. I did not see them on XDress, and I would love to get them. Please, tell me where. Thank you so much for sharing.
Adam- I think a WhatsApp group chat would be amazing! I am newer to this community. Just bought my first pair of lace panties last summer and have continued to add to my collection. I check these blog posts regularly because I get a sense of belonging and acceptance. Finally mustered up the courage to add a post. I am 30, gay, and single. I’ve explored this part of myself on my own. Which has been totally fine but would love to be around those with similar ideals. Love seeing the heartfelt content here. It makes me proud to be feminine and interact with a brand that encourages us all to be our most authentic selves.
P
There is always so much love and support in these blog comments, makes me wish we could create some sort of community group on Facebook or whatsapp (private group of course) where we can keep in contact and share experiences and offer advice and support in a safe space where we are all passionate about our XD life! I don’t know anyone I can take to about this but every commenter on all the threads I’ve read has been open honest and supportive of the other members. Be great to have a tribe to be part of. Anyone got any thoughts or suggestions? Love this little community of like minded and compassionate guys enjoying one of life’s great pleasures :)
I seem to relate to everything and even though I am older I still can’t shake those feelings and the need to wear panties and paint the nails etc. too late to do the Bruce Jenner so life goes on.
My dad told me when I was very young, that I had my mother’s gentle nature. Maybe that’s one reason I enjoy cross dressing, because it gives me a bigger outlet for that side of my personality. I haven’t noticed any significant changes since I started cross dressing a little more than a month ago, but I’ve been happier than than ever for just being me. I don’t have any sort of women’s outer wear at this time, but I’ve been wearing nothing but panties for over three weeks now and it been fantastic! Maybe someday me or my wife will buy me dresses and skirts, blouses and heels, makeup and wigs. But I doubt that. For one thing it would be nearly impossible to “pass” as a woman with my masculine features and very deep voice. But I’m happy for now with my panties and nighties! And I’m happy for all of you and the awareness that cross dressing has made you into kinder, more compassionate people regardless of how society largely sees us.
Love for my sisters, Jill
My fem personality is very much a subservient 50’s housewife who loves nothing more the. To serve and please my man.
My femme personality is the girlier the better. That is the reason I chose XDress when trying panties for men. If I’m going to buy underwear that are called panties, I want them to look like what you get from major lingerie retailers or a boutique. I either saw really ugly options or the cute options which were overseas and shipping was gonna hurt to pay before finding XDress. The quality, the styles, and the details are on par with what you find in major lingerie retailers and when I saw that I was sold.
I have been Crossdressing since I was a young kid. It was met with a lot of grief from my mom. Can’t remember the countless times I got caught with my sisters panties bras dresses my mom stockings and panty hose. I got hit a lot by my mom bcuz of it. I’m with an awesome woman who accepts me for who I am and supports my Crossdressing. There are some things I really want to wear but its going to take wearing them for us to see if my wife likes it or not. I’m glad I have the woman who loves me no matter what.
No conocia vuestro blog y sus comentarios tan interesantes y acertados. Enhorabuena. Seguid asi dandonos todo tipo de informacion.
Mariasun
Brian don’t worry m like you, just like dressing and don’t look femme. So dress on my friend try to find a cd ing group for when pandemic is over Wear something pretty today i am Stevie
Wow. How can I put this simply? For me I am just a regular guy with the exception that at home I wear women’s attire. I absolutely love dressing up. I love putting on fake french-tipped fingernails and painting my toenails. Putting on thigh highs, garter belt, breast forms, bra, skirt or dress is a must for me after I shower and shave most of my body. I have encountered the biggest issue with XDing, I have a very manly face and can’t get it even close to looking fem. To be honest, I don’t have that much of a problem with that. “Yes”, on day I’d like to have someone who knows how to transform my face to look passable so that I can at least have the excitement euphoria of going out into public once. Otherwise, I am happy with looking the way I am. I watch as women go through the ritual of getting ready for a nights out on the town and I must say I know for a fact, I don’t have the patience to do all of that once or even worse, more than once. So, I just focus on everything else to feel as gurly as I can. For the very select few people that know the I dress, they are just fine with how I look. As for women and relationships, living in a small town has many disadvantages. Its very hard to find a woman that is open minded and mature enough to become friends with or more, get in a relationship here. I’ve had one that in the beginning said she didn’t mind it, but later it turned out she wasn’t. I’m hoping one day I will meet a woman who enjoys & encourages me to dress and will always be there. I’ve always been closer to women then men. So to answer your questions, since I started dressing, I have become more secluded cause I would rather be comfortable dressed since I don’t go out wearing which slows down the process of meeting someone. Thanks
I had a nice surprise earlier today. A female friend I haven’t seen for a while contacted and we got chatting. She is well aware that I XD from time to time and we have arranged to meet up in a few weeks and she has agreed to do my make up and allow me to dress for the afternoon. So looking forward to this
Geoffrey You r so lucky! I d like to offer an alternative perspective as the spectrum of xdressers is far and wide! I like xd ing because the contrast of male and female turns me on I m not femme acting , i m just a male dressed feminine. A subtle difference! I m very comfortable wearing heels skinny womens jeans panty and bra under with a turtleneck and subtle make up but just contrasting that on a man Just another perspective Love ur input Wear something pretty today i am Stevie
A femme personality? That’s a very interesting topic to be sure. For us XD males it is a very important theme to be sure. To be a cross dressing male you must possess and demonstrate that feminine side. That is not a bad thing and I think that my fellow XD males will agree. If you are going to look the part, than you must act the part. I know we all like to act the part, that is why we males cross dress and embrace the feminine side of our life. As I have written in other blogs, I was introduced to cross dressing by an ex-girlfriend who was a female dominant and wanted me to dress in panty and bra as a way of showing my submissiveness towards her. It worked very well!!! She taught to walk, dress, apply make up and most importantly, to act like a girl. After a 2-3 year relationship with her, I was a cross dressing feminine male. After we separated, I continued as a XD feminine male. So my “femme personality” was firmly established, and continues to this day. I am now married to a very understanding wife, who allows me to dress in panties, bras, lingerie and at times be my femme self. It works and it is me. Again, I had training and lots of feminine experience to grow and embrace my femme self. I hope this narrative works for my XD partners and I wish you all the very best femme life.
I dress full time Panties, Make-up Brows, baby dolls, etc my body completely hair less I love being a CD and I make sure I watch my weight. I try to be as fem as possible
I have gone out fully dressed as Joyce before and had young sales girls flirt with me as they treated me like a girl because they knew me both ways and I felt so good about that. But the one that stands out is the day I had several places to go and went as Joyce. I felt so good that day but one of the errands I had to make was to drop off some old good clothes at The Goodwill. Well I never really dealt with young men before while being Joyce but this day the young man was helping me unload the car and I could tell he knew i was a male. But he kept smiling away and being kind and he was smiling and waving to me when I was driving away. I gave him a smile and waved back. It was fun. I will do this again.
I found this blog really helpful. I always wanted to explore my feminine side and have been lucky that in some ways I have been able to do that. I have worn panties under my work clothes but not on a regular basis. I think the most I’ve worn outside is panties stockings and suspenders under my trousers. My boyfriend is aware of my femme side but I have never had the courage to dress as my femme Bethany for him. I really want to pluck up the courage and ask him if I can dress for him but I am not sure of his reaction so may have to approach the subject carefully. It’s really great to be with like minded people. Take Care all
This has certainly been a great discussion and I think you all made a lot of excellent points. Angie, I think you were spot on. The world really does need more empathy and understanding. It truly is beyond clothes, as we are embracing a side of ourselves too many men repress. It’s like you said Stevie, to expand minds and hearts is a wonderful thing on this topic. I wish it was something that just wasn’t a problem for people and we could all be accepted as we were. I agree with Ally most, though. My femme personality is my personality, and pretending to be masculine is something I had to grow out of for the sake of my own happiness. Keep this conversation going, I think there is a lot of potential here. -Nathan
Hi everyone
Good question. I think my femme personality is my personality. I don’t have two personalities. When I’m dressing en femme I’m adopting feminine aesthetics. I might be giving my more feminine behaviors a greater license to be present – but I don’t think that is a different personality coming through.
If anything, the more relevant question for me is, ‘which elements of my personality are suppressed in my portrayal of a masculine self?’ It’s that suppression I find released in portraying a more feminine me. When I’m with people who understand my cross-dressing I love to look at and talk about clothes and make-up and to try different looks. That’s the bit my masculine me keeps locked away most.
As I’ve got older and come to accept my cross-dressing, its pace for me and its limitations, I think I have become much more tolerant of minorities and differences in people. But that’s a developed attitude rather than a change of personality I think.
It’s good to hear what others think.
Love to you all
Ally x
Hello friends! Nathan great topic Angie i agree with you To the rest its so much better if the wife is on board/ the possibilities are endless. However its hard for most , fear of the unknown, fear of new or repressed gay feelings or bi feelings. Goes to show how misunderstood this somewhat common practice is. If you can discuss it, assure them the masculine you is not leaving ( if that’s the case) if they can expand their minds and hearts you can find true bliss Stevie Wear something pretty today I am
For a long time I repressed the urge to cross dress and kept it hidden from my SO. The urges to dress up still existed and I would find my moments to get dolled up. Of course, I was younger then and not sure how to handle these urges. With time, confidence grew and I learned that I was not alone in this and spoke to some good people on how to introduce this side to my SO’s. The first talks were a little uncomfortable but my SO was very understanding and I find that some are more understanding than others. However, stay true to yourself and grow into it. I do think cross dressing has made me more compassionate and understanding and tolerant. Again, behavior that is learned over time with maturity and understanding coming into play.
Nathan, this is an excellent blog, and very well timed. If I may expand on your topic a bit, we are currently living in very troubled times, with open violence on the streets of some of our cities. I totally agree with you that crossdressing is more than clothes – it is a matter of personality, and embracing the gentler side of who we are. Like you, my friendships and my marriage have increased in quality since I embraced the feminine side of who I am. In these troubled times, I can see only good coming from us living as the gentler people we have become. Truly, our society needs the gentler people we have become. Do we need justice? Of course. At the same time, as the song says, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love.”
Fond regards, Angie
Hi Nathan!
Good topic
Well my relationship hasn’t improved, my wife confessed that she DOESNT approve of my crossdressing. Went to the “you’re gay” stuff( no problem if i were but im not ) but i have improved
I m less nervous less tense happier
Less nervous cause i m not trying to find private time to dress. Now i just underdress and what i call neutral dress (wear unisex looking clothes than are women’s)
But i press on, i m really happy with my dressing
I m cool with my toes polished underdressing and women’s jeans sweaters thigh highs light make up
I have changed. I am at a point in my life where I am comfortable with expressing myself as I wish. My wife is on the fence about me and CD, but she has taken me dress shopping a few times, has bought me panties, and says she likes to see me in panties. She gets coffee in bed each morning with me wearing only a pair of bikini’s. I can wait to come home and put on a fresh pair of panties, a bra, and a dress. In my professional life, I’m masculine, I am a karate master and ride a Harley. I relate now with the feminine side that has emerged as of late. I appreciate xdress for the constant encouragement for us gurls and all the wonderful products that you offer. I am putting my birthday list together for my wife to buy me some of your pretty things-she just now promised me a spa day-her and I. My wife is a hottie and she makes me crazy, I love to return the favors. I love to dress for her. My ultimate fantasy is to have make up done and buy a wig, go out and be free in public. Soon I hope. Thanks Xdress.
Hello Nathan
I have been walking away from the blog, for no particular reason. That is why I have not published or issued an opinion on the topics of previous blogs.
Today after reading your blog, I found the topic very interesting. I grew up and live in a traditional family and I have a very conservative profession which I am not allowed to do.
Since I was a teenager, I woke up to wearing women’s clothing. Since then, whenever I could, I used panties. A little later, with a friend I discovered that in fact my femme side was much more exacerbated than my male side. With the passing of time I have internalized this and today I am unable in my day to day not to wear lingerie under the suit or more sporty clothes. As you say it has a wonderful effect on my ego, I feel good, beautiful and increases my self-confidence. I feel like a sweeter person, kind to others and to myself. I feel myself in all my splendor.
Thanks again for the excellent blog.
Best Regards. Francisca