Good day, dear readers. I hope this blog finds you doing well and enjoying your pretties. I got to thinking about the difference between men’s underwear and women’s panties. Even the very name suggests a sharp distinction – for men it is underwear and for women it is panties. Everyone knows men wear underwear, not panties. Although, women can refer to their underclothing as underwear instead of panties. It smacks at that same double standard that allows little girls to do typically guy things, like climbing trees and playing ball, but a little boy can’t play with dolls.
Men’s underwear is a rather boring topic – you can wear tighty-whities, or boxers. Hmm, not much variation there. I don’t know the reasoning behind the design of tighty-whities, but they look like a medieval torture device to me. I haven’t worn any in the last 35 years or so. I tried boxers a few years ago, just out of curiosity. I found the lack of support unsettling, and at the end of the day I took them off, only to discover that my skin was puckered around the waist line from the elastic waist band. I donated them to a charity thrift shop.
I suspect the reason men’s underwear is so limited can be summed up in one word; stereotyping. If a man wants to wear women’s panties, the almost immediate response I get is 'obviously he’s not straight' The reality is that the large majority of cross dressers are straight and in a relationship with a woman, according to every survey I have read. To have a feminine side is not an issue of sexual preference. It is an issue of sensing oneself as more than a binary male.
In recent years, the men’s underwear industry has experimented a bit with design and type of material, but you won’t find lace or bows on those “underwear”. Oh no, that would be as bad as a little boy playing with dolls! So, while they have experimented a bit, onward still they trudge with very limited choice.
Contrast the boring sameness of male underclothing to the amazing world of women’s panties. The colors, styles, type of material – what fun! Until I discovered XDress and Body Aware, I wore women’s panties and enjoyed discovering all the styles to find out what worked and what didn’t for my particular form. The only drawback is that the gusset is cut for a woman’s physique and is too narrow to support the needs of a man. It was a good day when I stumbled across a men’s lingerie boutique called XDress. Wow! Panties actually designed for men! I’m sure by now I qualify for the status of Preferred Customer. Why, they even have bras designed for men. Who would ever have thunk it? Many years past, I had a choice of tighty-whities or….thighty-whities. Now, for many years, every morning is fun – what pair of panties shall I wear today. It is fun every day!
In years past, before the advent of the internet, I thought I was alone in this. If you are in my age group (as in cross dressing before the internet) I’ll bet you thought you were the only one too. If anyone discovered I was wearing panties, they probably would have hidden their children from me.
Well, we do have an internet now, and the fact that there are boutiques such as XDress and Body Aware certainly does away with the notion that there are only a few of us strange men who like to wear panties and bras. They wouldn’t have been in business for over 20 years if that weren't true. No, we aren’t just a few. We are the folks that like lace and bows and satin. I have an idea – remember when the feminists had bra burning parties? Why don’t we have a tighty-whitie and boxer burning party?
So much for my thoughts. I’d love to hear what thoughts this article might have stirred up for you. Let me hear from you. In the meanwhile, enjoy those panties!
Fond regards,
Angie
61 comments
Nicely said, K. I’ll join you in that toast to David and Kristina. Glad you mentioned that strange contraption on the front of tighty whities. I never did figure out what the purpose of that fly was. Doesn’t matter now, thankfully.
Angie
Ugh, tighty-whities!! What a god awfully horrible punishment they were and that fly on the front, who are the psychopaths that were using that to go to the bathroom? I’d have wet myself before being able to navigate that maze to tinkletown.
If I still owned a pair I’d gladly burn them in solidarity with the rest of you, however I’m going to take a wild guess and say that there isn’t a person in here that still owns a pair so instead let’s just pop the cork on a bottle of Prosecco, raise a glass to David and his wife and toast to their forward thinking, impeccable fashion sense and inability to be beat down by American prudishness.
Our “drawers” will never be the same.
Sláinte!
K
Kimmi, my dear, how lovely to hear from you. Yes, we have been internet friends for so long, and I am so fond of you. What a pity it is that your wife is not onboard enthusiastically with you about your inner femme. I know, from our long friendship, that your inner girl is very important to you. Please know, dear friend, that I celebrate that about you. Perhaps your wife will soften up about the whole issue with time. Give her time, dear sister, and be patient with her.
Fondly,
Angie
Hi Everyone!
I have known Angie now for over six years- early January 2013, just a few months after breaking out of Internet “stealth” after many years. It’s great to read Angie’s postings and perspective on this blog.
Like so many, I am married and have my wife as my only love. Unlike others, I have always known I came wired with a (lot of?) girl inside. It’s simply me and part of my balance.
I have always been a panties girl. Over time, my wife became less enthused with me in panties or other lingerie. it takes two to tango and bless her heart, she accepts that I will dress when she is not around- and she is ok as long as this is in private.
I love panties and always have. It’s not simply that panties are wonderful in my case. For me, panties signify my femininity and inner girl.
Thanks for making us all reflect, Angie. It’s heartening to see such an engaged readership!
Kimmi
Christine and Pauley, I find your comments very interesting, in terms of labels. What then shall we call ourselves? I came across a quote just today which seems to nicely reply to this whole issue: “Ten labels or a thousand labels, they may describe what we are, but not who we are.” Indeed labels do not describe us as human beings. In fairness to labeling, we have a human need to categorize things, in order to bring a sense of order to our world. I quite agree with you, Christine, that “Hairy panty wearer” is a most disgusting term, and certainly is pejorative to all of us that embrace the softer side of ourselves. Still, we label and categorize our world. Objections to labels do not remove that basic human need to organize our sense of order in the world. For some time now I have referred to myself as “gender fluid.” That describes not only what I am, but also who I am. I am indeed fluid in gender identity, as is my dear wife. Neither of us prescribe to the rather strict and binary definitions of male and female, although our biological assignment is certainly binary. I really don’t think a debate (or the attack) of the evils of labels gets to the core of what we should be concerned with. The core issue is that we have a fuller sense of who we are, and we struggle with a society that insists that we must be one or the other, when in fact we are both. How we dress, is simply and outward expression of an inner knowledge of who we truly are. Thank you, Xdress and Body Aware, that you give us that outlet – to outwardly what we experience inwardly. The issue of labels is hardly of concern when we seek acceptance for, not what we are, but who we are.
Fond regards,
Angie