Good day, dear readers. I hope this blog finds you doing well and enjoying your pretties. I got to thinking about the difference between men’s underwear and women’s panties. Even the very name suggests a sharp distinction – for men it is underwear and for women it is panties. Everyone knows men wear underwear, not panties. Although, women can refer to their underclothing as underwear instead of panties. It smacks at that same double standard that allows little girls to do typically guy things, like climbing trees and playing ball, but a little boy can’t play with dolls.
Men’s underwear is a rather boring topic – you can wear tighty-whities, or boxers. Hmm, not much variation there. I don’t know the reasoning behind the design of tighty-whities, but they look like a medieval torture device to me. I haven’t worn any in the last 35 years or so. I tried boxers a few years ago, just out of curiosity. I found the lack of support unsettling, and at the end of the day I took them off, only to discover that my skin was puckered around the waist line from the elastic waist band. I donated them to a charity thrift shop.
I suspect the reason men’s underwear is so limited can be summed up in one word; stereotyping. If a man wants to wear women’s panties, the almost immediate response I get is 'obviously he’s not straight' The reality is that the large majority of cross dressers are straight and in a relationship with a woman, according to every survey I have read. To have a feminine side is not an issue of sexual preference. It is an issue of sensing oneself as more than a binary male.
In recent years, the men’s underwear industry has experimented a bit with design and type of material, but you won’t find lace or bows on those “underwear”. Oh no, that would be as bad as a little boy playing with dolls! So, while they have experimented a bit, onward still they trudge with very limited choice.
Contrast the boring sameness of male underclothing to the amazing world of women’s panties. The colors, styles, type of material – what fun! Until I discovered XDress and Body Aware, I wore women’s panties and enjoyed discovering all the styles to find out what worked and what didn’t for my particular form. The only drawback is that the gusset is cut for a woman’s physique and is too narrow to support the needs of a man. It was a good day when I stumbled across a men’s lingerie boutique called XDress. Wow! Panties actually designed for men! I’m sure by now I qualify for the status of Preferred Customer. Why, they even have bras designed for men. Who would ever have thunk it? Many years past, I had a choice of tighty-whities or….thighty-whities. Now, for many years, every morning is fun – what pair of panties shall I wear today. It is fun every day!
In years past, before the advent of the internet, I thought I was alone in this. If you are in my age group (as in cross dressing before the internet) I’ll bet you thought you were the only one too. If anyone discovered I was wearing panties, they probably would have hidden their children from me.
Well, we do have an internet now, and the fact that there are boutiques such as XDress and Body Aware certainly does away with the notion that there are only a few of us strange men who like to wear panties and bras. They wouldn’t have been in business for over 20 years if that weren't true. No, we aren’t just a few. We are the folks that like lace and bows and satin. I have an idea – remember when the feminists had bra burning parties? Why don’t we have a tighty-whitie and boxer burning party?
So much for my thoughts. I’d love to hear what thoughts this article might have stirred up for you. Let me hear from you. In the meanwhile, enjoy those panties!
Fond regards,
Angie
61 comments
Hi all
Greatblog! This one really stimulated a lot of discussion and support! Kudosto Angie for running this blog!
Great thing about this site and blog is that its clean and brings to life those of us who live inthe shadows of various levels or places along the gendef spectrum. It brings light to the fact that we are just regular guys gurls girls that are right among everydaypeople. Its a great reference for SOs if and when you finally tell them
Wear something pretty today!
Stevie
Loved reading all those blogs!
Personally I have more fem clothes than my faience I have two full drawers of sexy panties half have a pouch made for men the others are ladies underwear I bought before I found pouch panties, victorias secret are my favourite and most cumfy by far, my partner doesn’t mind me wearing panties or a silky nighty to bed even if it is more fem than her oversized mens t shirt she wears to bed. she doesn’t like the idea of me wearing skirts dresses or a ladies blouse even though I have worn a few on nights out and asked her opinion on weather or not she likes it on me after and when she said it’s cute I’d tell her it’s actually a ladies blouse 😊 and she didn’t notice! I’m hoping in the future I’ll get to wear skirts and dresses around the house and not just when I’m home alone I can’t wait for the day when I can go out in public and not be judged! We should all wear what ever we feel most comfortable in!
I would also like to thank you Keri, as well as everyone else who has commented for sharing your experiences. Keri’s mention of the “self conscious mode” is precisely what I am trying to get out of. I only started dressing femininely in public a few weeks ago. That includes all kinds of skirts, tops, boots, hosiery, and occasionally makeup. It is very difficult to simply be in a relaxed state of mind, one free from self-conscious and anxious thoughts about what others are thinking.
What brings me closer to being free of my inhibitions is people such as my girlfriend, who encourages me to dress how I want and not care what others think. Then there is the people I meet online like all of you, who have lived through the same experiences and overcame their anxieties. You have inspired me in knowing that it can and will get better.
Dressing femininely already feels more natural for me, as I feel generally happier when doing so. I even feel slightly off and out of place when I am wearing my drab male clothes (of course I still wear lingerie underneath), which only happens a couple times a week at most. This is just another reason I know dressing how I desire will not cause me to be self-conscious for much longer.
Everyone’s experiences here truly do warm my heart as I know we are not alone. Like Angie said, a family does indeed seem to be forming here. Thank you all.
Nathan
It’s great to see so much conversation flowing here, as we share and discuss something that would fry the brain of the “general” population. David, your perspective on the difference in acceptance between the UK and US is very eye opening. I haven’t traveled to a different country yet, but I can still say that the US typically progresses slower in accepting new ideas compared to other countries from what I’ve seen in media.
Even if some of us are comfortable enough to go out publically fully dressed up with makeup and accessories, there will still always be that one neuron in our brain that is still active. You know, the one that reminds us what we do is unnatural to some, and that we need to be cautious when and where we do it. My dream is to be as comfortable as any other woman is when she dresses up publically in a skirt, blouse, hosiery, heels, and makeup.
With the amount of people I see commenting here, as well as the fact that businesses such as XD and BA are flourishing, I believe my dream is not so far fetched.
We are all are quite brave to do what we do. Hopefully, we can be the spark that ignites a revolution.
Have a great day everyone.
Nathan
I’ve been busy the past couple of weeks and am just now catching up with the blog and wow, there are some great comments. So interesting to hear about the beginnings of xdress, thanks David for sharing the story. I’m enjoying my panties and my GF got me some skinny jeans so we’re shopping for heels this weekend! Have fun gurls!!