Greetings, my dear readers. First I want to express my appreciation for your responses to my blog postings. It is so rewarding to know that there are so many of you that share this common experience with me that we call, loosely, “crossdressing”. Perhaps a better term is “gender fluid.” That pretty much works for me, as we all have a sense of who we are that is much broader than the confining role of the traditional binary male. I can’t imagine going back to being the macho male I once pretended to be (I say “pretended” because that was never who I really was) and wearing those heavy, scratchy underwear. Thinking about this fascinating journey of embracing the inner femme that we know ourselves to be, I started wondering about what got us all started on this journey.
I’ve read a lot of posts on various sites, regarding crossdressing folks like us, and have found there are many starting points. Some have sisters, and got started by exploring their sister’s panty drawer, or closet in search of the perfect skirt or dress. Others went foraging in their mom’s closet and dresser. Others didn’t have a sense of their femme self until later in life and lived, or do live, in fear of discovery by their wives. Others, the most fortunate of all, have a spouse that is totally okay with the feminine side of her husband or significant other, and lives happily in the gender fluid world with him.
So, I have a question for you: what got you started, and at what age? When did you first slip on that luscious pair of panties and know you were hooked – that this was a part of who you are? When did you first try on that first bra, or blouse, or skirt, and know that this was something you just had to do? We all had some starting point that led to where we are now, and I would love to hear your stories. By reading the blogs here at Xdress, surely by now you know you are far from alone in this fascinating world of the gender fluid; you are part of a virtual community here at Xdress. Tell me your story – I would love to hear it!
Feeling like I was born in the wrong body
It started one summer when I was 12. An older neighbor boy who I knew for years invited me to his house to play. He ended up dressing me in his sister’s panties. I was sold. Loved the feel and look. I spent that summer being dressed by him. Do to circumstances I was unable to enjoy lingerie until years later. Now fully dress in lingerie ,bra, panties, garters, stockings and heels. Such a wonderful feeling. Have made a number of friends who fully or partially dress to complete the experience.
I love reading other’s experiences, and see there are common threads. Many of us who love lingerie and especially panties were introduced to or were fascinated by them at at early age. Some people have a sister or two and I can imagine seeing panties laying around would have an effect on a developing child. In my case I remember 3 factors, when I was probably about 5 catching a glimpse of a girl’s panties under her dress at Sunday school and just couldn’t forget the image, and my mother telling me she wanted a girl, and I am pretty sure I remember wearing frilly knickers when I was very young. The 3rd factor was the strangest, but I believe it really happened. At an all boy kindergarten, aged about 5 or 6, I remember that the teacher kept a floral girl’s dress as a punishment for any boy who was what she believed was a cry baby (only girls were allowed to cry in the 1950’s). In my memory, I think it was only used once, put on over the boy’s regular clothes for the day. I am sure my understanding was very confused, but I always have remembered this over 60 years later. Secretly maybe I wished it was me who could wear the dress! So in conclusion, I think our early experience are the major influence on our desire to wear clothes of the opposite gender. It would be interesting to hear from women who prefer to dress in more masculine clothes of their early experiences. And I would like to add a thank you to xdress for hosting this blog. I think its important to support small businesses like this that understand we are on the whole an invisible and marginalized community, despite some welcome moves towards some acceptance in the last year or two.
Just come across this blog for the first time. So good to hear there are many other men with likings for wearing panties. I tried a pair of my wife’s lacy panties on a few years ago and ever since have been fascinated by lingerie. I have made a couple of attempts to transition fully to ladies lingerie. Reading this blog has hopefully given me the confidence to have another go!
For me it started very early.4,5,6 ? At a relatives had an accident. Only thing available without going home was a pair of girls undies. WoW ! Pretty rosebud print panties. I didn’t want them going back but. A few years forward and mom handsome silky soft panties,just white butoh so soft. Along with all kinds of other lingerie I managed to find. Sorta hooked I was. But it wasn’t mine and I didn’t just want to “borrow”. A little later and for mom excuse i found my love. Little lace trimmed undies. Flowered undies. All kinds of undies. Embarrassed at first but not for long. With very few exceptions the sales people were always accommodating and pleasant. Before I was out of high school lingerie at least what couldn’t be seen was everyday stuff. After school I was all girlie up most the time. I met a girl and at first she disliked me for my addiction but didn’t hate me. A little at a time we would talk more and more and even tho she wasn’t in love with my dressing habits she decided I was worth a little more. So as we cozied up together and fell in love she would dress me up on occasions and still does 40 years later. Were things always easy and good?, no but we lived and worked thru it. Things that stand out mist down this line is arguments over who was wearing what or isn’t that a little to sexy. Enjoy and have fun !
When did I start
I was 9 or 10 and walking to school with a girl that lived near me. She wore a scarf and I remember picking it up as it had blown off her shoulder. I couldn’t believe the feel of it in my fingers. It was soft and oh so smooth. I didn’t know what it was but later learned it was silk. The sensation of it has stayed with me ever since. I had an older sister that was starting to wear more girly things and I had to check them out. I loved the panties and would put them on when no-one was home. When I was in my mid-teens I would take notice of my mother when she wore her long flowing nightgown. I was mesmerized by the beauty of it. She looked like an angel in it. When I was home alone I would put it on and loved the feel of it on my body … sooooo sensual. I loved how it looked on me and knew I had to have this in my life. When I got married I had bought a sheer nightgown for my wife but knew I would wear it when she wasn’t home. I tried to get her to let me wear it occasionally but she wasn’t into it. Years later we divorced and I began to really indulge my fetish for lingerie (mainly panties and nightgowns). I’ve had a few girlfriends over the years and have told a couple of them that I enjoy wearing lingerie but they never saw me in it. I’m single now and really want to bring out the woman that is inside of me. When I get home I want to slip into a long flowing sheer nightgown and wear it all evening and if I have the day to myself I want to stay in lingerie all day. I’m not sure if this is considered cross-dressing as I don’t go out in public while dressed. With that said I know I have a very soft feminine side to me that needs to be and wants to be expressed. To be honest I’ve been giving thought to going further and would like to look like a woman and go out as a woman. I have no experience in getting that look but want to achieve that. I’m a male but inwardly I’m a female that wants to share that part of me with that special person whether they are male or female. At this stage of my life its about being accepted for who I am inside. I don’t know if I’m Bi or Gay but I’m attracted to both sexes at this point. When I see someone that is attractive/handsome and I can see they look after themselves I notice. I don’t know if I’ll meet that special some-one but in the meantime I wear beautiful lingerie and enjoy my company. I’ve added a few things to my collection (thigh-highs, garters and more nightgowns in various colors) but my favorite is still a long flowing sheer nightgown. I look at myself in the full-length mirror in my bedroom and see a beautiful woman.
I was 8 years old when it started for me our family went to visit my great-grandfather and the lady next to my great grandfather had a swimming pool but we didn’t have our swimsuits she said that we could still come over and go swimming but she only had girls swimsuits and I put one on and the rest is history I’ve been loving them ever since. I’ve worn dresses before as my mom my aunt and grandmother were all seamstresses so I was like their mannequin.
I started out with my mom’s panties but my sister’s things were sexier. I finally realized my destiny.
It started with me at the age of 10 when my mum bought the wrong tights she had bought school girl tights so i took the opportunity to grab them and try them on and it felt amazing then i started buying my own tights but one time I went to another shop and got a pair of tights and when I went to pay for them there was a girl from my year 4th year of high school year 10 today then I started to buy my own panties and bras then went to skirts blouses i’m now 53 this August and married to a woman have 2 beautiful teenage daughters
I love to have my pubic hair off and walk around with a little bra and nylons and a little tight thong on
I started wearing my mother’s panties, hosiery, and swimsuit when I was 13. But, before then (age 6 ?) I was curious as to why my underpants (Fruit of the Loom briefs) didn’t feel smooth and silky like my mother’s.
At night in bed before I fell asleep I would hand rub my underpants to to try to smooth them. Also, when my mother would hang her stockings to dry over the shower curtain rod. I would feel and smell them. (When I reached puberty, she stopped doing that.)
Throughout my life I have worn lingerie when I was without a female partner. It’s compensating and consoling.
I enjoy women—they are works of Art. I feel more vibrant when I am with one. I love how they look, sound, smell, taste, feel.
Problem for me is, I’m not a chick magnet. Been married a few times, but never could find my match. Instead had to settle—and settling is never satisfying in the long run.
I got started X-dressing by my mom. She wanted to have 2 boys and 2 girls, unfortunately she had 3 boys and 1 girl. I was the 2nd boy but I was like other boys I liked to play with girls and with their toys. Mom saw this and asked me to become her “special Daughter”. She bought me lots of dresses and underthings as well as petticoats for the party dresses. I was only 11 at the time and loved the attention I got for being so special.. Dad called me a sissy but I didn’t care. I loved wearing dresses and hated wearing jeans.
My grandma also gott me dresses and an aunt donated her daughters dresses for me. This lasted all the way til I was 17, but even then I kept dressing as a girl.
I was the baby of 5 kids. Mom-Day, Oldest brother, 3 sisters, then me. I was more or less subservient and submissive to the females in my family during my entire upbringing. I do recall one or twice going through mom drawers, finding her panties, garters, etc. Nothing sexy, all very basic, all white, etc. It did nothing for me. I never once paid any attention to any panties or bras of siblings, nor girlfriends, or even first wife for that matter, the latter only wearing basic high waist, white “Hanes” briefs. It was at the end of that marriage where I found myself in yahoo chat rooms and fell under the direction of an online Mistress who demanded that if I was to “be under her”, I had to be in panties and bra daily. Although I had a new female partner at the time, who was quite vanilla from a kink perspective, the online dominant was adamant that I had to wear my own lingerie. I have been in panties 24/7 for over 6 years and have been wearing a bra for over 3 years. I am not bi, not gay, and my current wife know of some of the panties, but doubtful the extent. I have purged the collection about 3 times now. About a year ago I was going to purge, but instead, bagged it all up and waited. Yes, within about 2 days, I was back to my 24/7 routine: chastity, panties and bra every day. i keep saying the day will come when I stop, but it has not yet. Think it will be when my kids find out. sigh. Oh, for the record, I hate men’s underwear, unless it is pouch based, either brief, bikini or thong.
For me, I was about 9-11 years old. We all had chores to do prior to leaving for school. One morning, it was my job to bring in all the clothes off the clothes line. It was the first time I had ever touched nylon panties. Mom and both sisters (one older/one younger) all wore nylon panties. Just like Steve, I was fascinated with their laundry. Once I got the laundry into the house and alone, (just like another member had stated) I also found my self rubbing their nylon panties in my face.
All day in school, all I could think of was my short experience in touching their panties. With in a day or so, I found myself investigating their panties from the clothes hamper. Oh my gosh, I was in heaven!! Just like before, I found myself rubbing their panties in my face. Only this time, I was also rubbing them “elsewhere” as well.
That whole week in school was tough with their panties on my mind. At first, I would take their panties to bed with me but that was difficult while sharing a room with an older brother. So I would go into the restroom, retrieve a pair of panties from the clothes hamper and wear them to school. Back then, women’s /girls nylon panties had a double layer of nylon in the crotch. No cotton lining like they do now day’s. At that age, having very little pubic hair, their all nylon crotch had a very strong effect on me. During my teens, one of my sisters started wearing them nylon Day’s of The Week panties. To this very day, I still have her cherrry red nylon panties with the word FRIDAY in black lettering. Of course, not being as slim as I was back then, it is rather difficult to slip them on now day’s.
I can honestly say, that if women’s/girls panties had been made in cotton only, I would have NEVER been attracted to them. Nothing against cotton but why would I want them seeing as how being youngsters, we were brought up having to wear tightiy-whites? Looking back, I can see how it may have been wrong to wear their panties from the clothes hamper to school but the feeling of my hairless “privates” rubbing on their nylon crotch, it remnded me that I was wearing their panties and not on school matters. I am sure I am not alone when it came to doing some of thse things.
I wear nylon panties 24/7 and I always “remove” the cotton lining prior to wearing them. With X-D, I never have to worry about the crotch being too narrow. Nothing worse than having your privates spilling out on the sides.
Love the photo by the way!
Although I occasionally wore my mother’s silk panties in grade school, it was not until I got married after college that I really got hooked on lingerie. I inexplicably felt a very strong urge and desire to try on my wife’s sexy Vanity Fair nylon panties. Instantly I felt a rush of Adrenalin and fell in love with how the nylon felt on me. I was hooked for life. It was a very sensual experience that I never forgot,.
I got started when my girlfriend left a pair of her panties behind one morning. She left for work and I saw them on the floor and immediately tried them on. Green satin panties with the frilly little bow in front. After 20 years, I can still feel the rush I felt pulling them on for the first time! I took them off and went to work but kept thinking about them. I rushed home for lunch and tried them on again but this time kept them on while I went to work. I cannot explain how turned on I was all afternoon knowing I was wearing women’s panties while my co-worker’s had no clue! I dabbled with VS panties for years and liked their selection but sometimes the fit was more for the woman’s body than it was for a man’s but I couldn’t fault them for that. I love the styles they offer, even to this day and I still shop there from time to time. XDress has a better fit since it is designed for men. My only complaint is that the inventory runs out too quick on may of their styles. But I love the site and the selection. The Satin Hipsters are my new favorite followed closely by the Satin/Lace Brazil Panties!
My first experience wearing panties was pretty typical. I was 13, home alone, and was finishing some laundry my mom had left. I was folding laundry when I saw a pair of shiny blue VS satin panties. They were fresh from the dryer, so I decided to strip down and try them on right then and there. The warm satin felt amazing on my bottom, and I was hooked. I would sneak into my parents room once a month and steel a pair of my moms panties. For a while I would only wear them around the house when I was alone. I would strut around the house in just panties. It was amazing.
It wasn’t till I moved out a few years later that I started buying my own panties. Now I wear them everyday. I have no men’s underwear anymore.
I was so glad to come across this blog it helped me understand that im not alone in the way i feel. Mine started pretty early my parents separated when i was 5, so I pretty much was raised by my mother and my sister lived with us. My fist exploration happened with a very shiny skirt that belonged to my sister. I got caught trying that one on and my mom didn’t think too much about it she always called me sister anyway. After I tried that skirt I wanted to try more so i started sneaking into her room while she was away she was the black sheep and wasn’t usually home and my mom worked a lot to support us which left me at home with quite a bit of time on my hands. I can still remember the first pair of hers i snuck was a metallic purple thong. It was so hot this was all when i was about 6. It didn’t stop there I snuck quite a few more throughout the years discovering along the way that absolutely love string bikinis panties. I hid it from almost everyone except for one guy I slept with when I was a teenager he found out when my pants came off but he didn’t seem to mind it was a pair of silky string bikini that I lifted off my sister. It was actually really lonely not being able to tell anyone but the area of the country Im from it wouldn’t be accepted even by my closest friends. The only other person who knows about it now is my wife of almost 12 years she hasn’t known the whole time i told her almost 9 years ago and now I have an assortment of bras and panties that she’s ok with but I can tell she’s still not to keen on it. I have brought up lingerie and it started a huge fight between us and almost ended our marriage because she didn’t want me to. She’s more ok with panties than anything but i think thats because they can be pretty well hidden but I do have to say its gotten better i went with her to get a pedicure for the first time in my life 2 months ago and she loved it my tows are painted right now we plan on going again this next month she has no idea how happy she made me by not throwing a fit over my nails being painted she enjoyed the time and so did I I still feel so girly with my toes painted. I will be getting red next time they’re blue right now. Thats part of my story anyway im so glad I was finally able to share it with someone even if this is an old column. Thanks bunches y’all.
When did it all start!
From a young age I realized that I liked being a girl. Possibly in the games with my cousins and I looked at their pants and felt a great fascination. Later, also playing with a friend of mine, he asked me to be his wife. I was fascinated, I played the role as a whole. Every Wednesday, in our games, I was his wife, until the day he gave me a kiss on the mouth and stunned me. If I didn’t have a lot of doubts with less, I was a girl. It was even a first step to wear a pair of pants, on one of those Wednesdays he told me go to my mother’s dresser drawer and choose some pants to wear. I remember it as if it were today, blue with a nice touch.
Since then every Wednesday I wore underwear and never stopped assuming as a woman.
I don’t consider myself gay, but a woman!
Since then I have not stopped using underwear, although when I was at my parents’ house it was more complicated, since I went to college and now at work I use it daily and I can’t use anything else.
In addition to this relationship I had two more and I am lucky that these people encourage me to wear lingerie and pull on my feminine side. Thanks to Xdress for being able to share our stories.
I love you !!!!!
It is nice to have online access to others that wear. Years ago we did all this is without any real outlet. 61 now and times have changed. Before I share my story I will say with respect to all the reasons we wear, I wear because they make me feel sexy and comfortable, in the bedroom or day to day. I’ve also just been into wearing the panties and sometimes stockings/garters. I don’t think I every would have made a good “girl” even when I was young. So I am the male who wears undies. I have enjoyed wearing for men and ladies over the years but there is something so erotic about seeing a mans eyes looking at you while you wear and he is turned on….
Growning up in Florida I had the chance to work a summer cleaning a neighbors pool while they were out of town. So into the house and into the panty drawer curious 13 year old me went. she was an older lady maye late 50’s but she had wonderful lingerie and such sexy panties. At first I just played with myself holding them, loving the feel of the fabric and the look. Soon I had to try them on. Don’t a lot of guys in their lives try some on at one time or another? Well I was hooked.
After a hitch in the army I came back to Fla and had an apt and I would “find” panties in a laundry room or a thrift store and that was my playtime. I started going to the adult book stores and now and then wear some there to watch the movies. One day an older man maybe in his 60’s came into the booth I was in because the lock would not catch. I am standing there in only a pair of white satin with lace trim string bikini panties. I am frozen standing there and one thing leads to another. Just the feeling of seeing how excited he was turned me on so much.
I love women and I don’t see ever being totally fem but are there many of you other there that feel the same way? That sometimes its fun to try the other way so to speak. Panties make that happen for me. Just thought I’d share.
I love stories about teenagers trying on their mother’s or sister’s panties and instantly becoming aroused. My sexuality emerged slowly and it never occurred to me to do anything like that. The first I knew about crossdressing, as a student in the 1960s, was from a book called ‘Sexual Deviation’ by Anthony Storr, a psychotherapist. He mentioned how some men liked to crossdress and pleasure themselves, often in front of a mirror. I realised at once that this would please me a lot! Storr reckoned that my condition was neurotic, and curable by psychotherapy. I knew I wasn’t ill and did not want to be ‘cured’.
Fast forward a few years. I had been married for a year and found myself alone in the house. I slipped on one of my wife’s nighties, then stood in front of a mirror and did what came naturally, with the greatest enjoyment. I was now officially a sexual deviant and it felt fantastic! From then on I was hooked. I relied on my wife’s wardrobe for some years. If she suspected anything, she never said so. (Many years later, she was dismayed to find part of my stash, but at least it didn’t include anything of hers!) Later I discovered other sources of my favourite garments, which helped me realise that there must be many others who shared my tastes. It would still be more than 20 years before the advent of that godsend Apres Noir/Xdress, which enabled so many of us to buy pretty things which fitted perfectly and did not show under our clothing, to say nothing of gorgeous babydolls in satin, chiffon and lace.
I wasn’t in my teens yet when I had the chance to cruise through my mothers underwear drawer. I did find some silk panties and tried them on. Not much transpired from this adventure and many years went by until the mid 80’s came around and then I noticed and felt the urge to try wearing again.
When the 80’s hit I was into the Rock band, Hair Bands in that day. I went to many concerts and took obvious note into what the girls were wearing and how super sexy I found the look to be. The super short, tight skirts, thigh highs, garter belts, heels and lets not forget the hair. As I arrived at the day of the concerts, my neck would get a workout from looking in so many different directions and skirt after skirt. Even though the skirts made me look, they mostly drew my attention directly at legs. I have a thing for sexy legs and I received some complements about mine growing up.
So, another 20 or so years later, the chance for myself to experience trying on skirts presented itself to me and I took it. I found a Black skirt at a yard sale while browsing and decided to add it to my other guy clothing I was buying, stuck it in between the clothes and asked how much. A few bucks was said and they never looked though the items and away I went straight home. My clothes couldn’t come off fast enough as I tried on my 1st skirt. It hugged my skin tight but it had plenty of stretch to the material. I was hooked from then on. Any chance I had and was alone I wore that skirt. If I didn’t have to take it off, I didn’t. I still have it today and is still one of my favorites.
Since that 1st day I tried on that skirt I have since accumulated much more clothing. Its grown to include, lingerie, panties, bra’s, tops, dresses, and now another big interest, Heels. I haven’t yet to be outdoors while dressed up, only inside, when I get home from work and shower up, I get into dress and I feel so much better. I absolutely feel much more comfortable in femme wear than in my regular clothes. I love it.
My earliest remembrance is wearing pale blue ruffled nylon swim briefs when I was very young (about 4 years old). I only had brothers so was not surrounded by much feminine, but I believe my mother always wanted a girl, so dressed me in girly clothes while she could get away with it. One or two photos of me in a baby dress survive. I suspect this is not all that unusual, and may be why many of us have a desire to wear panties and more. I did not start wearing panties by choice until I was much older, but I do remember as a child being fascinated by girls in dresses and getting a glimpse of white panties was heaven!
I remember very well: 1986, I was 6 years old and found one my older sisters’ tap dance outfits. It was a kelly-green satin leotard with white sequins on it, not a lot, but scattered around. The finishing touch was a short white tutu. This outfit was made for boys like me! Not really caring about anything, I put it on and started dancing around. No one saw this, but I wasn’t hiding it either with my bedroom door open. I stored the outfit in my closet, which no one seemed to notice either lol! Both my sisters and brother are considerably older than me, so its not like she was going to wear it again. Now that I think about it, I wonder if my siblings and parents DID see the outfit in my closet and put two and two together? Mind. Blown! I kept wearing that adorable little outfit for several years.
At 8, my only friend was a girl my age, Tina, down the road (I live in the sticks). We were playing one day when she wanted to have a tea party, but explained I couldn’t wear boys clothes, that we had to wear dresses. She got one out for me, and I took her seriously when she said “no boys clothes” by taking off my undies too. Inevitably her mom checked on us, and we explained how I ended up in a dress. This woman was SO accepting and so nice, she just said how sweet I looked, but not to wear any of Tina’s dresses again… without undies. Mrs. K was (is) an angel, I can NEVER forget what she did for me: the next time I came over (or somewhere around there), she called us up to Tina’s room where she had cookies and Kool-Aid for another “tea party.” She had laid out two dresses for us to wear, except one dress had little pink panties laid on top, and they had small white bows on the hips. They were for me! My very first panties, and (unlike most of us), they were my size :) She sent me to the bathroom where I removed every last piece of boy clothes, and slipped my panties on. I was physically excited, if you know what I mean, but also VERY emotionally excited, and I still feel my heart racing as I asked through the door if they were ready to see me. Something took over, and I twirled around for them a few times, and did some silly poses before Mrs. K helped me into the dress. That was the best tea party ever! Nearly every time I played with Tina from that day on I was dressed as a girl – sometimes just panties, sometimes head-to-toe full dress-up, sometimes Tina’s basic shorts and T’s. Mrs. K didn’t let me try a girls swimsuit, though. Sadly, Mrs. K and Tina moved away a year and a half later and with them went my panties and any chances of dressing like a girl, or so I thought.
At 10 I was in a summer camp, and a counselor befriended me much more than the others. His motivations were exactly what you’re probably assuming them to be right now, and the relationship two years. I’m over it, and don’t hate him anymore, and my life has moved on. As unfortunate as it was, and relevant to this topic, it was with him that I accepted that I’m a sissy boy. You name the clothing, I wore it. And it wasn’t small women’s clothes, but stuff made for me (I still have no idea how). I was also able to wear girls swimsuits (both one-piece and bikinis) at a local waterpark, and go out in public in full sissy outfits. For as much work it took me to get over the other parts of that relationship, I still count being a sissy boy as a good part of it.
When that time over and he was out of my life, I rejected being a sissy boy, and denied what I wanted, and needed, and how I felt. For 20 years I told myself I was not “that way,” and I was “normal.” At 33 years old, I began to slowly re-consider how I felt, and warmed up to being a sissy boy again. I even opened up to one of my sisters, who is so cool she bought me two pairs of panties because I was too scared to go into a store and buy them myself. Now I wear a mix of panties and some really cool double-seat briefs, like I wore back in the day! I have several sissy dresses, tons of regular girl clothes (shorts, jeans, T shirts, tights). I have a leotard and tutu! I even have Ariel (Little Mermaid) fleece footy pj’s for the winter :)
I’ve accepted who I an, and what I’ve always been: Tommy, Sissy Boy, and I don’t want to hide that again, ever :)