In no way do I believe that the way I feel about cross-dressing is the way everyone who cross-dresses feels. And that includes people who are born male but identify as female or those that are on a male to female transition journey – we all have our own feelings. But I find a simple happiness in recognizing, and accepting, that I find it all just so exciting!
And what’s wrong with that?
I don’t ask anyone to accept my preferences for wearing lacy and satin underwear and stay-up stockings. I’m kind of OK that the majority of the world won’t accept my cross-dressing as ‘normal’. To an extent I would feel comfortable going about my daily business dressed ‘en-femme’. Heaven knows, it might even feel less exciting if I got to do it on the daily amongst others!
The excitement of wearing gorgeous lingerie, skirts, tops, heels and make-up (I can’t get used to wigs) began, for me, at an early age – like it did for many of you, I guess. It remains today. I’ve purged, I’ve tried to control my feelings – but it comes back just as strong. And why should I resist?
Our old friend Aristotle thought of a life of pleasure as enough for a good life or a life well-lived – alongside a life of honor, wealth, health, or eminence. Take your pick. Some psychologists suggest a good life is a mixture of pleasurable, meaningful and varied experiences. Others say that hedonic goal pursuits (e.g. having fun) may be just as important for our well-being as long-term goal pursuits (e.g. learning something new to get a better job).
On that basis, a little of what I fancy ought to do me good!
In truth, I wonder if I can even justify - as if I need to – my cross-dressing as something that puts me in touch with my feminine side. After all, what is either feminine or masculine about clothes?
Do I wear women’s clothes? No, I wear my clothes. It’s just that most people probably associate my clothes with those mainly worn by women – whereas Aristotle and his friends probably knew a thing or two about wearing a skirt, or ‘a chiton’ as it might have been called.
Do I feel feminine when I wear my lingerie and dresses? Well, how would I know what feeling feminine feels like? I’m not even sure what feeling masculine feels like. Do women spend their lives feeling feminine any more than I spend my life feeling masculine? Probably not. Although, there seems to be a lot of evidence to suggest that people have a male or female experience of the world, I think that’s probably a little different to feeling either masculine or feminine.
Maybe what I do in cross-dressing is construct my own feminine ideal and find that exciting to occupy for a little space of time. I find it hard to imagine that, in general, women feel as excited as I do when dressed in what they wear on a daily basis. However, I can also imagine that some women might do.
British artist Grayson Perry has said that people accept his cross dressing because he is an artist – he’s “allowed to be weird”. At the same time, he accepts that attitudes towards him might be different if he were a banker. Though in no way should this permit intimidation, aggression and exclusion towards people that harmlessly digress from societal norms.
In day-to-day life I’m probably more banker than artist. My dressing remains hidden, subtle, or in accepting company.
I don’t want to tell you what the reasons for cross-dressing are or should be. It’s good enough for me to be excited by the looks I can create. A creative act or even a delusional one at times – I’m no cat-walk model. Should it matter? Like any craft it takes time, practice, and experimentation to create a satisfying work.
Do you need to find reasons for what you do? Or is it enough discovering the fact that 'It’s All Just So Exciting!'
Justin
34 comments
Hi again everyone How great to hear how so many of you have so much fun dressing! As someone here said, I find it so exciting choosing, waiting for and then finally receiving my Xdress panties and other items. Yes, they become like old friends after a while. But you can have the best fun with old friends! Dressing up in our best secretarial or executive career girl outfit is such a quintessential cross-dressing fantasy. What is it with that? The neatness? The figure hugging skirt and seamed stockings? Or the tightly laced corset to nip in that waist? Or is the object of our fascination something untouchable? Whatever it is – a great look that can be achieved with relatively little outlay. If it excites you, then enjoy it while you can! Yes, wearing a thong while doing a little heavy landscaping could be a head turner if your jeans ride down a bit when you’re on all fours. I guess there’s a time and a place for all kinds of dressing whoever you are. If you’ve something lovely to wear, best aave it for when you can enjoy it the most I think. Have fun everyone Justin
Great blog. Was attracted to lacey undies and nylon at an early age but also fought it for years. Now that I am much older I wear xdress panties and lingerie most of the time and feel very comfortable and don’t mind who knows. Wear what makes you feel good.
Hi everybody
Great comments
I love the takes on crossdressing and wearing lingerie
We re fine as we are. Dress as u like
Its fun and sexy; i love it
Justin, a great blog. It is illogical that certain styles of dress and fabrics are designated as “female”, while others are “masculine”. Most things are not attached to a gender. Sports are possibly an exception where there tends to be a vague distinction, more often than not based on the physical strength involved, but both men and women are generally free to cross over. But with clothing society is not as forgiving. Women can wear adaptions of masculine styles without comment, but not so for men who are attracted to feminine styles of dress. Fortunately society has changed for the better in the last couple of years, with the advent of shows like Rue Paul’s Drag Race, and as Randy mentioned, its interesting that some of the bigger brands are coming out with gender neutral clothing. I don’t honestly see gender neutral working for all clothing as men and women do have different shapes, but I do embrace the idea.
Dressing up is just so much fun! I love to wear the XDress panties under my business attire when I have to but love to wear it especially when dressed in femme clothes. I think femme is just a name we tag it with as women’s clothes appear different than men’s clothing. Either way, I do feel a bit more femme wearing panties Thani do when wearing traditional men’s briefs and I don’t think I would wear a thong in the yard to landscape or do manual labor. Need the support of the men’s underwear for this task. But the minute I shower and get ready for bed the satin or lace or other panty combinations from XDress go on! As for dressing up? Now is the time of year to do it! Halloween could be used as a first step to getting your SO to accept your inner femme side.