The Beautiful Part of Us

The Beautiful Part of Us
None of us decided to be who we are.  We are who we are and we are perfect the way we are.  This part of us is exactly that...its a part of us.  We will not outgrow this.  This is not something we can, or should stop.  Love this part of you, because it is part of you.  

For most of us, we discovered this part of us at a very early age.  And if you're reading this, its because you have accepted and have embraced this part of you.  I'm proud of you.

I don't think many of us were shopping at the mall recently and thought "you know, instead of boxers, I think I'll try those cute, lacy panties instead".  I am also unsure if there were any of us who decided when shopping for shoes for a job interview that rather those boring wingtip dress shoes, we'd wear five inch stiletto heels instead.  

The point is that we don't just wake up and decide to start wearing dresses instead of jeans as adults.  Our dressing begins, for most of us, begins at a young age.  I've written before that the first memory of my dressing was trying on my mother's heels (link to the previous blog 'Giving Yourself Permission to be Fabulous').  My dressing started then, and it continued all throughout my life.  I knew it wasn't something that boys were allowed to do, I knew it wasn't something boys were supposed to do, but those social and gender expectations never made me stop.  I didn't WANT to stop.  I knew I couldn't.  I knew then that this wasn't a phase...it was who I was and today it's who I am.  

In school I watched enviously as the girls played dress-up wearing beautiful clothes that looked a little like the Little Miss Muffet Tea Dress and school uniforms.  I so wanted to wear what the girls wore.  Thanks to Xdress' Back to School Uniform, I can make that dream a reality.   

Whenever I meet another girl like me, it''s not uncommon for us to have a conversation about how....all this started.  We were often fascinated and jealous of the pink dresses that our sisters wore.  We were mesmerized by bras and wondered what it would be like to wear one.  We all remember the first time we felt this pull, we all remember the first time we wanted to wear a dress and the first time we made that dream come true.  We all knew that not every boy felt this way and that it should be a secret.  Some of us were caught by our parents or siblings.  Some of us told our family what we wanted to wear.  

Coming out to others is never easy.  We are putting ourselves in a very vulnerable position where we are revealing what is probably the most intimate and secretive...and beautiful part of us.  For some of us, coming out is not a choice, such as when someone "catches" us, such as when we are young.  I've come out to a few people in my life with varying results.  I can't say that I was ever correct at guessing how they would react.  

So, when did you first start wanting to wear lingerie?  What were your first memories of wanting to wear princess dresses, or high heels or makeup?  What were your experiences growing up and coming out to other people?

Love, Hannah

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36 comments

Hi Mike!
I’ve been to the Gay 90’s. I live in the Minneapolis area and you might want to visit my website and check out my group ‘The MN T-Girls’.

www.hannahmcknight.org

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight

Hi Sidney! Your drawer sounds a lot like mine!

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight

Hi Don! I am so glad you found someone to share your passions with!

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight

Hi Madelyn! I am so glad you liked the blog. I appreciate you sharing it!

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight

For me it was about 8
Between 8-10 our family added 2 baby girls. Thsts when it started

It started with my moms high heels. I liked thst so much i tried panty hose
Then panties then skirts then dresses

I stopped in college except when i came home

I now know it made me closer to my mom as i felt the babies were getting all her attention. She made over them so much i was jealous

It came back in my late 20s and I explored all options finally after purges and swearing i d stop to realizing at 50 that i m a crossdressing heyero male with no need or desires to change sex-i love being male but i love wearing lingerie high strappy heels and painting my toes

I ve accepted who i am
My gender is predominantly male with a fluidity to occasionally present feminine though not female

I live who i am i love feeling sexy and pretty and the clothes just make me feel so good

I m not out to anyone except my wife

Stevie

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