I was young, like most of us probably were. I didn't think there was anything wrong with wanting to wear what I wanted to wear, but I somehow knew it had to be a secret. I was around five years old when I finally did it. I opened the closet and I took my mom's high heels and brought them into another room to try them. Of course, I was in love with how they looked on me. I couldn't wait to grow up and have a pair of heels for myself.
The excitement was quickly overtaken by... fear? The fear of being caught, I imagine. No, what took over was guilt. I grew up being told that boys wore certain clothes and shoes and did not wear pretty dresses and makeup. I knew that, but I didn't know why not. I couldn't understand why everybody didn't want to wear pretty dresses. Weren't skirts and heels more fun?
Having a lot of beautiful panties
to chose from didn't happen overnight. It takes time to fill a lingerie drawer... but is there anything more fun than building your lingerie
wardrobe? Picking out high heels
and cute dresses
takes more than just doing some shopping. You need to give yourself permission to be fabulous and to give yourself permission to wear whatever you want to wear.
We've all wondered why we do this. What does this mean? Why do we want to wear bras
(with matching panties, garter belts
and black seamed stockings
, of course)? We see beautiful dresses at the mall and there's this.. longing in our hearts to wear it. We love the sound of high heels clicking on the floor and we imagine how amazing it would be to walk confidently in the office wearing a pair of black patent stilettos, too.
Are we gay? Is that what this means? No. Wanting to wake up in a cute little nightgown does not mean you are gay. It's a normal thing to think, and it's usually the first thing we are asked when we tell someone that we love wearing what we love to wear. There's no connection between sexuality and clothing. Some of us have a hard time allowing ourselves to wear that satin camisole under our business suit because, well, men don't wear lingerie. Men aren't supposed to wear panties (with ribbons and bows, naturally). Many of us have this...fear, this guilt, perhaps even shame of wanting to wear what we want to wear.
I'm sure you know this, but it never hurts to be reminded of this: There's nothing wrong with wanting to wear lingerie, beautiful dresses, towering high heels, winged eyeliner
or whatever you want to wear. It also doesn't mean anything. It doesn't change your sexuality, it doesn't mean you were born with the wrong body, it doesn't mean that you are meant to transition. The only thing it means is that you love wearing lingerie. Whether it makes you feel sexy, beautiful, relaxed or confident, you don't need a reason to wear panties. Or a bra. Or a miniskirt.
Once I fully embraced who I was, that's when my closet started to fill with dresses and my panty drawer and my stocking drawer started to overflow. I look at my wardrobe and I remember it took more than shopping to have such an amazing closet.
It took giving myself permission to be who I am... to be FABULOUS.
Lingerie is a gift you give yourself... and so is loving yourself.