The Beautiful Part of Us

June 20, 2018 31 Comments

The Beautiful Part of Us

None of us decided to be who we are.  We are who we are and we are perfect the way we are.  This part of us is exactly that...its a part of us.  We will not outgrow this.  This is not something we can, or should stop.  Love this part of you, because it is part of you.  

For most of us, we discovered this part of us at a very early age.  And if you're reading this, its because you have accepted and have embraced this part of you.  I'm proud of you.

I don't think many of us were shopping at the mall recently and thought "you know, instead of boxers, I think I'll try those cute, lacy panties instead".  I am also unsure if there were any of us who decided when shopping for shoes for a job interview that rather those boring wingtip dress shoes, we'd wear five inch stiletto heels instead.  

The point is that we don't just wake up and decide to start wearing dresses instead of jeans as adults.  Our dressing begins, for most of us, begins at a young age.  I've written before that the first memory of my dressing was trying on my mother's heels (link to the previous blog 'Giving Yourself Permission to be Fabulous').  My dressing started then, and it continued all throughout my life.  I knew it wasn't something that boys were allowed to do, I knew it wasn't something boys were supposed to do, but those social and gender expectations never made me stop.  I didn't WANT to stop.  I knew I couldn't.  I knew then that this wasn't a phase...it was who I was and today it's who I am.  

In school I watched enviously as the girls played dress-up wearing beautiful clothes that looked a little like the Little Miss Muffet Tea Dress and school uniforms.  I so wanted to wear what the girls wore.  Thanks to Xdress' Back to School Uniform, I can make that dream a reality.   

Whenever I meet another girl like me, it''s not uncommon for us to have a conversation about how....all this started.  We were often fascinated and jealous of the pink dresses that our sisters wore.  We were mesmerized by bras and wondered what it would be like to wear one.  We all remember the first time we felt this pull, we all remember the first time we wanted to wear a dress and the first time we made that dream come true.  We all knew that not every boy felt this way and that it should be a secret.  Some of us were caught by our parents or siblings.  Some of us told our family what we wanted to wear.  

Coming out to others is never easy.  We are putting ourselves in a very vulnerable position where we are revealing what is probably the most intimate and secretive...and beautiful part of us.  For some of us, coming out is not a choice, such as when someone "catches" us, such as when we are young.  I've come out to a few people in my life with varying results.  I can't say that I was ever correct at guessing how they would react.  

So, when did you first start wanting to wear lingerie?  What were your first memories of wanting to wear princess dresses, or high heels or makeup?  What were your experiences growing up and coming out to other people?

Love, Hannah

31 Responses

Stevie
Stevie

July 18, 2018

I like Keri s comments
Very honest and so many things hit home

Paul
Paul

July 10, 2018

I was 4-5 and would have dress up tea parties with my grandmother. She purchased for me, little dress up kits from the dime store. One had plastic jewelry, another had gloves and a purse. They were mine and I wore them during our tea parties. About the age of 12-13 I would sneak my sisters or mothers panties and wear them. Agree catching me enough times, my mom purchased for me my own panties. She asked that I only wear them at home and not to tell any one for fear of the persecution I would have to endure.

Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

July 07, 2018

Hi Rich!
Pantyhose was one of the first things I fell in love with! There’s something so sexy about black nylons….

Love, Hannah

Rich
Rich

July 06, 2018

It’s been a love affair with pantyhose for me, the magical feeling you get when slipping them on, WoW! When I see women wearing them I get jealous cause I know the feeling.😍
Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

June 29, 2018

Hi Cassie! Good choice…! I love satin so I have my eye on the Simply Satin French Maid Dress.

Love, Hannah

Cassie
Cassie

June 29, 2018

Hannah,

I went with the Fairytale French Maid outfit and I really like it. So I suggest you go with it.

Cassie

Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

June 29, 2018

Hi Cassie! It sounds like you found a wonderful way to make housework more fun! I’ve been thinking about getting a french maid uniform for myself. Xdress sells a few cute ones….which one should I pick?

Love, Hannah

Cassie
Cassie

June 28, 2018

I remember putting on a friend’s mother’s shoes and loving it. However, nothing really happened until my mid-20s when I began wearing nail polish on fingers and toes. I remember telling my wife it seemed unfair that I couldn’t wear nail polish all the time. Later I bought heals and tried makeup. My wife was lukewarm on my wearing pantyhose and nail polish. After about 5 years of nail polish and some fake nails, it all went by the wayside until I found Xdress. Now I enjoy wearing panties and bras to sleep in. I enjoy wearing lipstick and dressing up at home in the French Maid outfit with black pumps. My wife is supportive but I doubt she would be comfortable with me going into full cross dress mode. I would like to go all in with makeup, dresses, wig, breasts, and see if I can pass as a fully made up woman. I don’t think she wants a female friend but a man.

Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

June 27, 2018

Hi Timothy!
It sounds like you remember that moment like it was yesterday! :) What a life changing memory.

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

June 27, 2018

Hi Keri! It sounds like that girl next door really helped you blossom into who you are today.
Glad you like the blogs! If there’s something you’d like me to write about, please let me know!

Love Hannah

Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

June 27, 2018

Hi Dj! Sounds like you have an amazing wife! I’m just curious why you don’t identify as a crossdresser? Not that you have to, I’m just curious.

Love, Hannah

Timothy Kahanak
Timothy Kahanak

June 26, 2018

My mom kept change for our bus rides in her lingerie drawer. One day while getting some change I noticed her long line bra, girdle, black panties, and nylons. I forgot about the money and tried them on! I was eleven years old. It was like heaven for me. I’m 64 now and still love dressing up in lingerie.

Keri (Scottsdale)
Keri (Scottsdale)

June 26, 2018

Hi Hannah, I was 12 or 13 I believe when I began wearing panties. Not all the time of course but I was a pantyboy. A few years earlier a girl next door (teenager in H.S.) used to take care of my sister and I in the summer. I am pretty sure I had already noticed and was envious of the cute dresses my sister wore. She was older than I was. Not sure why or how but the girl that was watching us decided one day to dress both of us up in my sisters things and take us for a walk. Honestly I liked it but pretended that I didn’t. She did this on more than one occasion and I really loved it. One day she decided to put me in my sisters panties and a training bra. I put up a bit of a fuss but OMG I was in heaven. I am sure I began to swish at that point. Secretly of course.

Since then and forever I loved women’s clothes. Skirts and blouses are favorites. Dresses are also so pretty to look at and want to wear. I love shopping for women’s things. I see many very attractive women in the mall and always wish it were me wearing whatever I see that looks so appealing. I want their hair, makeup and jewelry as well. It is such a shame that as men we can’t enjoy these things openly.

So I live wearing panties, sometimes a cami, every night a nightie and anything I can wear that looks generic enough to pass publicly. I may sneak a touch of lipstick, always a spritz of perfume and all feminine body lotions as no one has to know that I am.

Love these blogs. Gives many of us another channel to release our inner woman. Keep up the good work and thank you to XDress for their models, lingerie and these blogs.

Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

June 26, 2018

Hi Don, I’m afraid I don’t have any suggestions on how to meet others Just be safe.
Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

June 26, 2018

Hi Randy, sounds like you have an amazing mother! Coming out is never easy and you never know how one will react to it…so, good luck with your boyfriend.

And you are not alone. Not by a long shot.

Love, Hannah

dj
dj

June 26, 2018

As a kid, I was fascinated by my mothers lingerie and underwear – anything slinky or lacy or feminine, and yes, I was caught once and the shame of it was awful. As a grew up, I was into the alternative scene and had girlfriends who were open to the idea of me wearing their underwear or buying me some – and now, I’m turning 40 and married 15 years, to a woman who loves the gender fluidity of it all, and I have nothing but panties in my draw, and more bra’s available than she.

For me, it’s all about the underwear and lingerie – with some feminine touches. I love painted nails, shaved legs – but, I don’t identify as a cross dresser. It may be that my wife isn’t particularly “girly”, so jeans and a T Shirt are our normal day to day – I just happen to have a bra and silk panties underneath!

Don
Don

June 22, 2018

Hey Hannah, thank you, and yes I`m special as far as finding a great partner. This is pretty new to us as commutating this subject to others. So I want to ask you how to get involved with others that feel the same way as us? We r a bit shy so we would love to start out slow, u know. Any advise???

Randy Munguia
Randy Munguia

June 22, 2018

I started when I was in my teens with trying on my mothers high heels and gloves when she was not around. Eventually I “graduated” into wearing her lingerie, and dresses along with experimenting with her make-up. One day she caught me using her make-up and started buying it for me as well as giving me lessons on how to use it along with helping me get the perfect look. We used to dress together on the weekends. Currently, I just dress on the weekends and usually just around the house. I find it relaxing and my posture is better when I wear high heels. I am waiting for the right moment to come out to my boyfriend. This is a great site and great blogs. Keep up the good work and it is nice to know that I am not alone!

Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

June 21, 2018

Hi Stevie! Yes, we never outgrow this side of us, do we? And why should we?

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

June 21, 2018

Hi Marie Anne!

I can’t wait to read it!

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

June 21, 2018

Hi Mike!
I’ve been to the Gay 90’s. I live in the Minneapolis area and you might want to visit my website and check out my group ‘The MN T-Girls’.

www.hannahmcknight.org

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

June 21, 2018

Hi Sidney! Your drawer sounds a lot like mine!

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

June 21, 2018

Hi Don! I am so glad you found someone to share your passions with!

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

June 21, 2018

Hi Madelyn! I am so glad you liked the blog. I appreciate you sharing it!

Love, Hannah

Stevie
Stevie

June 21, 2018

For me it was about 8
Between 8-10 our family added 2 baby girls. Thsts when it started

It started with my moms high heels. I liked thst so much i tried panty hose
Then panties then skirts then dresses

I stopped in college except when i came home

I now know it made me closer to my mom as i felt the babies were getting all her attention. She made over them so much i was jealous

It came back in my late 20s and I explored all options finally after purges and swearing i d stop to realizing at 50 that i m a crossdressing heyero male with no need or desires to change sex-i love being male but i love wearing lingerie high strappy heels and painting my toes

I ve accepted who i am
My gender is predominantly male with a fluidity to occasionally present feminine though not female

I live who i am i love feeling sexy and pretty and the clothes just make me feel so good

I m not out to anyone except my wife

Marie Anne Greene
Marie Anne Greene

June 21, 2018

Hannah,

Have recently completed my story- Hopefully it will be posted soon by TASI on “Entry Hall SISTER HOUSE” under the title “TALL GAL PERSONA”. You and some of your readers might enjoy it. Marie Anne

Mike
Mike

June 21, 2018

I remember when I tried on my moms clothes and how good they felt, I was in jr high. After that I would sneak into her room and wear her clothes as often as I could. Then when I was married I would go into the bedroom when no one was home and put on my wife’s under garments and clothes. I’ve been divorced for about 10 years now and I dress like this at home. I’ve got a whole closet full of women’s dresses, night gowns, pant suits, tops, and slacks. I’ve got bras and panties which I love wearing under my (ugh) men’s clothes. I’ve even thought about wanting to transition. I so want to go out into the world dressed as a woman, but I never have. I’ve gone to 1 club called the gay ninties in mpls dresses as a woman, and felt very comfortable there

Hannah McKnight
Hannah McKnight

June 21, 2018

I hope you liked my blog! I can’t remember not wanting to wear dresses, heels and makeup. I stated underdressing on a regular basis when I was in my teens. I still remember how amazing it felt to wear a bra, panties, a garter belt and black stockings under my male clothes. I never went back after that…

Love, Hannah

Sidney
Sidney

June 21, 2018

Thank you for telling your story i stared with sister pantyhose .have. Dresser full of panty bra thigh high heel outer wear .Don’t want to stop thank you for your blog

Don
Don

June 21, 2018

I agree with all what you have said above. I knew when I first looked at my mothers underwear drawer (at a young age) I liked what I saw. Putting all that aside-time went on. I love to have sex with females, but I also had my first experience with another guy at age 12. I loved many women throughout the years, and a few guys, but still hiding my inner feelings. Finally, I found my partner and wow she is the best ever. She encourages me to be myself and asks me to go put something sexy on. What a find a lovely lady that enjoys what I`m interested in. So now we were each others underwear and have great sex with toys and movies. She likes when I get all dressed up and let her penetrate my with her strap on. Now we are in search of same like minded couples so we can grow as individuals and as a sweet couple. Bottom line no one can tell you how you feel :)

Madelyn
Madelyn

June 21, 2018

This is one very Beautiful Blog which mirrors how I & many others like me confessed to ourselves who we really are. I will be sharing this Blog with the most beautiful, sincere, & feminine friends I have met & who I chat with on line.
Once again thank you for such a true & beautiful post. It made me feel so good as to who I am & expressed my true desires.

Madelyn

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