The Beautiful Part of Us

None of us decided to be who we are.  We are who we are and we are perfect the way we are.  This part of us is exactly that...its a part of us.  We will not outgrow this.  This is not something we can, or should stop.  Love this part of you, because it is part of you.  

For most of us, we discovered this part of us at a very early age.  And if you're reading this, its because you have accepted and have embraced this part of you.  I'm proud of you.

I don't think many of us were shopping at the mall recently and thought "you know, instead of boxers, I think I'll try those cute, lacy panties instead".  I am also unsure if there were any of us who decided when shopping for shoes for a job interview that rather those boring wingtip dress shoes, we'd wear five inch stiletto heels instead.  

The point is that we don't just wake up and decide to start wearing dresses instead of jeans as adults.  Our dressing begins, for most of us, begins at a young age.  I've written before that the first memory of my dressing was trying on my mother's heels (link to the previous blog 'Giving Yourself Permission to be Fabulous').  My dressing started then, and it continued all throughout my life.  I knew it wasn't something that boys were allowed to do, I knew it wasn't something boys were supposed to do, but those social and gender expectations never made me stop.  I didn't WANT to stop.  I knew I couldn't.  I knew then that this wasn't a phase...it was who I was and today it's who I am.  

In school I watched enviously as the girls played dress-up wearing beautiful clothes that looked a little like the Little Miss Muffet Tea Dress and school uniforms.  I so wanted to wear what the girls wore.  Thanks to Xdress' Back to School Uniform, I can make that dream a reality.   

Whenever I meet another girl like me, it''s not uncommon for us to have a conversation about how....all this started.  We were often fascinated and jealous of the pink dresses that our sisters wore.  We were mesmerized by bras and wondered what it would be like to wear one.  We all remember the first time we felt this pull, we all remember the first time we wanted to wear a dress and the first time we made that dream come true.  We all knew that not every boy felt this way and that it should be a secret.  Some of us were caught by our parents or siblings.  Some of us told our family what we wanted to wear.  

Coming out to others is never easy.  We are putting ourselves in a very vulnerable position where we are revealing what is probably the most intimate and secretive...and beautiful part of us.  For some of us, coming out is not a choice, such as when someone "catches" us, such as when we are young.  I've come out to a few people in my life with varying results.  I can't say that I was ever correct at guessing how they would react.  

So, when did you first start wanting to wear lingerie?  What were your first memories of wanting to wear princess dresses, or high heels or makeup?  What were your experiences growing up and coming out to other people?

Love, Hannah

35 comments

Hi Hannah

Congratulations on your post. Returning a few years ago, I think that my feminine side started to reveal itself as a boy. Over the years it has grown and around the age of 12 I have tried a few briefs. But it was in my teens and with my boyfriend at the time that I started using only panties he loved it. After that I never stopped!

Nuno January 24, 2020

I was introduced to panties when I was 12 by an older neighbor boy. I loved the look and feel. I am much older now but still love panties and especially garters and stockings which I wear for my bf all the time. I would love to meet other guys who wear in the Seattle area.

seabill October 29, 2018

I wore my sisters clothes on and off ever since about age 8, and had a brief period of repressing that desire when I got together with my current girlfriend at age 16. About a year after we got together, I started wearing her clothes in secret. I then expressed my liking for pantyhose to her around age 18, which she was okay with. I was afraid to express my desire to wear all kinds of women’s clothes for the next couple of years. My girlfriend is an angel of woman, absolutely gorgeous and sexy, and she loves wearing feminine clothes. Every day she will wear pantyhose, a dress or skirt, and high heels. During the time in which this part of me was kept a secret, I would vent the energy I had within me by shopping for clothes for my girlfriend online. I loved going online and looking at womens clothing. Not only was it exciting for me to imagine my girlfriend in these clothes, but I also had a strong desire to wear the things I would pick out for her. After about a year of this, and finding websites like this which encourage you to come out to your SO, I finally told her everything about a month ago. At first she was hurt from me not telling her, and was somewhat put off by it and didn’t want to see me in female clothes. A week or so later, she adjusted and was then okay with seeing me fully dressed up. Since then, she has evolved more regarding what is tolerable for her. I wear a bra, panties, and pantyhose daily under my work clothes. On the weekends, I will fully dress up for the majority of the day. She even helps me shave my legs. The only times I cannot be dressed up is during intimacy, as my girlfriend is turned off by seeing me in those clothes. I am still allowed to wear pantyhose (crotchless) during intimacy. Perhaps in the future, she will be okay with me wearing lingerie during sex. I am just grateful she is so accepting of it, albeit not completely. I have never felt for relaxed about who I am since I have told her. And thanks to websites like this, I had the courage to tell her. I am looking forward to my future finally being true to who I am.

Nathan October 02, 2018

Like many of us, I started admiring my sisters panties and lingerie when is was in my early teens. Eventually, I’d try things on and run around the house and admire myself in the mirror. When she caught me I was terrified, but she never gave up my secret to our parents and would actually give me a pair of panties and nightie to wear when my folks were out of town and she was watching over me. After I got married I stopped, and never figured out a way to break my desires to my wife. At around forty I got involved with a (male) friend in an affair that lasted for many years. Out of nowhere, I got out of a hotel shower expecting to hop into bed with my boyfriend and there was a note telling me he was going for a bottle of wine and would be back shortly. Lying across the pillows were a pair of black lace panties and a baby doll nightie!! I put them on and when he returned we had an afternoon of fantastic sex. After that, lingerie became a regular part of our sex life. For ten years I wanna treated to lace, satin and toys. Loved every minute of it, until I retired and the wife and I moved to the northwest. Lo and behold, a few years later I met another retired guy online who asked me if I would mind if he wanted me to wear “some lacy stuff”. My hidden collection is growing again, as my lover loves to hand be a bag and then leave the room while I “get ready”. Couldn’t have worked out better.

Mickie September 25, 2018

I like Keri s comments
Very honest and so many things hit home

Stevie July 18, 2018

I was 4-5 and would have dress up tea parties with my grandmother. She purchased for me, little dress up kits from the dime store. One had plastic jewelry, another had gloves and a purse. They were mine and I wore them during our tea parties. About the age of 12-13 I would sneak my sisters or mothers panties and wear them. Agree catching me enough times, my mom purchased for me my own panties. She asked that I only wear them at home and not to tell any one for fear of the persecution I would have to endure.

Paul July 10, 2018

Hi Rich!
Pantyhose was one of the first things I fell in love with! There’s something so sexy about black nylons….

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight July 07, 2018
It’s been a love affair with pantyhose for me, the magical feeling you get when slipping them on, WoW! When I see women wearing them I get jealous cause I know the feeling.😍
Rich July 06, 2018

Hi Cassie! Good choice…! I love satin so I have my eye on the Simply Satin French Maid Dress.

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight June 29, 2018

Hannah,

I went with the Fairytale French Maid outfit and I really like it. So I suggest you go with it.

Cassie

Cassie June 29, 2018

Hi Cassie! It sounds like you found a wonderful way to make housework more fun! I’ve been thinking about getting a french maid uniform for myself. Xdress sells a few cute ones….which one should I pick?

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight June 29, 2018

I remember putting on a friend’s mother’s shoes and loving it. However, nothing really happened until my mid-20s when I began wearing nail polish on fingers and toes. I remember telling my wife it seemed unfair that I couldn’t wear nail polish all the time. Later I bought heals and tried makeup. My wife was lukewarm on my wearing pantyhose and nail polish. After about 5 years of nail polish and some fake nails, it all went by the wayside until I found Xdress. Now I enjoy wearing panties and bras to sleep in. I enjoy wearing lipstick and dressing up at home in the French Maid outfit with black pumps. My wife is supportive but I doubt she would be comfortable with me going into full cross dress mode. I would like to go all in with makeup, dresses, wig, breasts, and see if I can pass as a fully made up woman. I don’t think she wants a female friend but a man.

Cassie June 28, 2018

Hi Timothy!
It sounds like you remember that moment like it was yesterday! :) What a life changing memory.

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight June 27, 2018

Hi Keri! It sounds like that girl next door really helped you blossom into who you are today.
Glad you like the blogs! If there’s something you’d like me to write about, please let me know!

Love Hannah

Hannah McKnight June 27, 2018

Hi Dj! Sounds like you have an amazing wife! I’m just curious why you don’t identify as a crossdresser? Not that you have to, I’m just curious.

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight June 27, 2018

My mom kept change for our bus rides in her lingerie drawer. One day while getting some change I noticed her long line bra, girdle, black panties, and nylons. I forgot about the money and tried them on! I was eleven years old. It was like heaven for me. I’m 64 now and still love dressing up in lingerie.

Timothy Kahanak June 26, 2018

Hi Hannah, I was 12 or 13 I believe when I began wearing panties. Not all the time of course but I was a pantyboy. A few years earlier a girl next door (teenager in H.S.) used to take care of my sister and I in the summer. I am pretty sure I had already noticed and was envious of the cute dresses my sister wore. She was older than I was. Not sure why or how but the girl that was watching us decided one day to dress both of us up in my sisters things and take us for a walk. Honestly I liked it but pretended that I didn’t. She did this on more than one occasion and I really loved it. One day she decided to put me in my sisters panties and a training bra. I put up a bit of a fuss but OMG I was in heaven. I am sure I began to swish at that point. Secretly of course.

Since then and forever I loved women’s clothes. Skirts and blouses are favorites. Dresses are also so pretty to look at and want to wear. I love shopping for women’s things. I see many very attractive women in the mall and always wish it were me wearing whatever I see that looks so appealing. I want their hair, makeup and jewelry as well. It is such a shame that as men we can’t enjoy these things openly.

So I live wearing panties, sometimes a cami, every night a nightie and anything I can wear that looks generic enough to pass publicly. I may sneak a touch of lipstick, always a spritz of perfume and all feminine body lotions as no one has to know that I am.

Love these blogs. Gives many of us another channel to release our inner woman. Keep up the good work and thank you to XDress for their models, lingerie and these blogs.

Keri (Scottsdale) June 26, 2018

Hi Don, I’m afraid I don’t have any suggestions on how to meet others Just be safe.
Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight June 26, 2018

Hi Randy, sounds like you have an amazing mother! Coming out is never easy and you never know how one will react to it…so, good luck with your boyfriend.

And you are not alone. Not by a long shot.

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight June 26, 2018

As a kid, I was fascinated by my mothers lingerie and underwear – anything slinky or lacy or feminine, and yes, I was caught once and the shame of it was awful. As a grew up, I was into the alternative scene and had girlfriends who were open to the idea of me wearing their underwear or buying me some – and now, I’m turning 40 and married 15 years, to a woman who loves the gender fluidity of it all, and I have nothing but panties in my draw, and more bra’s available than she.

For me, it’s all about the underwear and lingerie – with some feminine touches. I love painted nails, shaved legs – but, I don’t identify as a cross dresser. It may be that my wife isn’t particularly “girly”, so jeans and a T Shirt are our normal day to day – I just happen to have a bra and silk panties underneath!

dj June 26, 2018

Hey Hannah, thank you, and yes I`m special as far as finding a great partner. This is pretty new to us as commutating this subject to others. So I want to ask you how to get involved with others that feel the same way as us? We r a bit shy so we would love to start out slow, u know. Any advise???

Don June 22, 2018

I started when I was in my teens with trying on my mothers high heels and gloves when she was not around. Eventually I “graduated” into wearing her lingerie, and dresses along with experimenting with her make-up. One day she caught me using her make-up and started buying it for me as well as giving me lessons on how to use it along with helping me get the perfect look. We used to dress together on the weekends. Currently, I just dress on the weekends and usually just around the house. I find it relaxing and my posture is better when I wear high heels. I am waiting for the right moment to come out to my boyfriend. This is a great site and great blogs. Keep up the good work and it is nice to know that I am not alone!

Randy Munguia June 22, 2018

Hi Stevie! Yes, we never outgrow this side of us, do we? And why should we?

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight June 21, 2018

Hi Marie Anne!

I can’t wait to read it!

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight June 21, 2018

Hi Mike!
I’ve been to the Gay 90’s. I live in the Minneapolis area and you might want to visit my website and check out my group ‘The MN T-Girls’.

www.hannahmcknight.org

Love, Hannah

Hannah McKnight June 21, 2018

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