Pillow Talk w/ Hannah : They found my panties, and we broke up. What to do?

Pillow Talk w/ Hannah : They found my panties, and we broke up. What to do?
When I ordered my first panties and bra… I remember when I received them and put them on for the first time… I literally melted with happiness… then I ordered new sets. I wore them at home and at night. Once I took a set with me to the pool… after class I put them on and went outside for the first time… I was flying with happiness. Like an angel with wings… I started wearing them and going to work. One day my girlfriend saw my thongs…. and we broke up. Then I bought new bras and panties… but the time came… and I started to feel ashamed… and one day I threw everything out… a year later I started looking at the website again… XDress video, your website… but I can’t decide to buy… why is this… why am I drawn to this world… what do you think I should do.. what should I do?- Andy


Well...  if you want my honest opinion, I think you should stop denying this side of yourself.  As you wrote, lingerie makes you incredibly happy, like an angel with wings melting with happiness.  Why would you deny that joy and happiness to yourself?

There will never be a satisfactory reason why you are drawn to this world.  I feel we spend too much time trying to do this.  It's who you are, it's who I am.  I don't pause to think about why I am drawn to the many fulfilling aspects of my life, whether it's reading or lingerie or painting.  There was likely a moment when you saw a bra or a panty and it just connected with you.  You either looked at the beautiful set in a way you had never had before...  or it awoke something that was always a part of you.  Either way, it was a moment that unlocked a part of yourself that will forever be a part of your life.  

Embrace it.  How many people in this world can honestly say that something, ANYTHING, makes them melt with happiness?  You are one of the fortunate ones, someone who has something in their life (and under their clothes) that brings them such joy.  

Shame is what the loud and hateful people want you to feel.  Stop listening to them, lol.

I think I need a little more context about your relationship.  Is there a direct connection between your thong and the end of the relationship?  Did she see them and break up immediately because of them? 



In my opinion, I do not think crossdressing itself is the sole reason a relationship ends...  but it's more often the actions that are ASSOCIATED with crossdressing.  For example, lying.  I think we can all agree that lying to your significant other is a bad idea.  When you start lying about crossdressing, then crossdressing becomes an issue because you're lying about it and therefore crossdressing causes stress and arguments and suspicious feelings.  It's not hard for someone to wonder what else their partner is lying about once the lying has been discovered.

Crossdressing and relationships are not easy.  For too long movies and media have portrayed "men who wear girl clothes" as sexual deviants or perverts or fetishists or as gay (not that there's anything wrong with being gay).  I think many people would rethink a relationship if they felt that their partner was not being honest with them (or with themselves) about their sexuality and let's face it, there aren't many movies that have men that wear lingerie who are portrayed as straight.  Can you blame someone if they think or fear that their panty-wearing boyfriend is actually gay?  

I feel that we have a lot of work that needs to be done when it comes to undoing the stereotypes that people like us have.

Okay, let's lighten up a little, lol.  Buy new panties and bras and cami and stockings and wear what makes you happy.  Accept who you are, and embrace it.

Love, Hannah


The views and opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of XDress

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7 comments

H, nope, you are not the only straight man to enjoy in the luxury of wearing lingerie. I am so happy that my partner totally and understandably encourages and appreciates me wearing it. In fact, if we don’t go lingerie shopping together, she buys me surprise gifts on occasion. It can happen. One thing for sure is, if you don’t let her know, it won’t.

WB

Hannah,

Great blog post. I really like your comment: how many people in this world can honestly say that something, ANYTHING, makes them melt with happiness?
I feel this way about two things in my life, my art and my panty collection. I would say within the last two years I have really been striving to accept and embrace these two things. My best friend always tells me “do you know how lucky you are to have a passion you are so good at!?” Of course he means art, but you get the point.
I feel as if the acceptance of my panty kink the last two years has been focused on accepting me, to not feel shame having drawers of panties and lingerie. My dilemma, or question to you, do you have advice on how to have that conversation with a woman I’m interested in. I have not been in a serious committed relationship in sometime. I have accepted my kink, but how do I ask a woman to accept my kink? Do I mention this on date 1? How do I approach it? Do you have any advice?

-JP

It’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only straight man who enjoys wearing lingerie. It’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only one who has struggled to come to terms with the fact that I’m drawn towards feminine underwear. I share the experiences and feelings of shame, embarrassment, confusion, attempts at denial and at being deceitful about it in my relationships. After reading this blog I’ve realised that I should try to embrace my love of dressing up in lingerie. I’ve also realised that I need to stop being deceitful about it and to be open with my wife. I’ve decided that I’m going to rip the plaster off and just tell her. I’m hoping that she will understand and that being honest will ease some of the shame I feel. Wish me luck! H

H

Great blog Hannah! First, I agree that you should never deny yourself true happiness, especially a happiness that is so easily attained! Life is way too short to deny such pleasure. As for wearing manties? It is your decision and yours only. Who you share that with is your decision but I agree that lying is not the way to go. Be open and honest on what you like about panties and bras and other lingerie. Express yourself and see how it goes. Sharing this vulnerable side of you is no different than sharing other potentially embarrassing things that we all have in our personal closets. But honesty is the best policy! SO’s that do not accept will happen, unfortunately. But take the advice of “It wasn’t meant to be” and move onto someone who embraces you for you. It is a petty person who would close the doors on a potential relationship based on such a trivial matter: Underwear choice! As for society, there is a lot of work to be done here and this forum helps but is not mainstream enough to change the minds, opinions and stereotypes that are embedded in much of our society. Time will help, so will more men finding this site and trying out these great fitting and super comfortable, not to mention sexy, panties and other items. It does not make you femme, or gay or anything. It just makes you YOU! Embrace it! Enjoy it!

Scott

This is insanely accurate post. Thank you Hannah for opening this up. It is soul lifting now knowing I am not alone in this world.

I had hid my pantie and bra, heel and spaghetti strap love for over 10 years and finally found a partner that was open to the idea. After having a son I told myself that I can’t wear any of this because I didn’t want to expose him to this side of myself. It didn’t phase me until recently I started thinking about the panties I put away in a small box to avoid the temptation. Just like every other time I tried to push it deep down and away, it finds its way up.

Today I decided that even with having a son I still need to do what keeps me happy and comfortable. I may not be walking around in a panties and heels but I am keeping myself happy. Today I stand outside my workspace wearing a thong under my military uniform.

XDress and everyone involved in comments have helped me confirm that I am not alone and I want to thank everyone for your support.

<3 Jose

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