When I ordered my first panties and bra… I remember when I received them and put them on for the first time… I literally melted with happiness… then I ordered new sets. I wore them at home and at night. Once I took a set with me to the pool… after class I put them on and went outside for the first time… I was flying with happiness. Like an angel with wings… I started wearing them and going to work. One day my girlfriend saw my thongs…. and we broke up. Then I bought new bras and panties… but the time came… and I started to feel ashamed… and one day I threw everything out… a year later I started looking at the website again… XDress video, your website… but I can’t decide to buy… why is this… why am I drawn to this world… what do you think I should do.. what should I do?- Andy
Well... if you want my honest opinion, I think you should stop denying this side of yourself. As you wrote, lingerie makes you incredibly happy, like an angel with wings melting with happiness. Why would you deny that joy and happiness to yourself?
There will never be a satisfactory reason why you are drawn to this world. I feel we spend too much time trying to do this. It's who you are, it's who I am. I don't pause to think about why I am drawn to the many fulfilling aspects of my life, whether it's reading or lingerie or painting. There was likely a moment when you saw a bra or a panty and it just connected with you. You either looked at the beautiful set in a way you had never had before... or it awoke something that was always a part of you. Either way, it was a moment that unlocked a part of yourself that will forever be a part of your life.
Embrace it. How many people in this world can honestly say that something, ANYTHING, makes them melt with happiness? You are one of the fortunate ones, someone who has something in their life (and under their clothes) that brings them such joy.
Shame is what the loud and hateful people want you to feel. Stop listening to them, lol.
I think I need a little more context about your relationship. Is there a direct connection between your thong and the end of the relationship? Did she see them and break up immediately because of them?
In my opinion, I do not think crossdressing itself is the sole reason a relationship ends... but it's more often the actions that are ASSOCIATED with crossdressing. For example, lying. I think we can all agree that lying to your significant other is a bad idea. When you start lying about crossdressing, then crossdressing becomes an issue because you're lying about it and therefore crossdressing causes stress and arguments and suspicious feelings. It's not hard for someone to wonder what else their partner is lying about once the lying has been discovered.
Crossdressing and relationships are not easy. For too long movies and media have portrayed "men who wear girl clothes" as sexual deviants or perverts or fetishists or as gay (not that there's anything wrong with being gay). I think many people would rethink a relationship if they felt that their partner was not being honest with them (or with themselves) about their sexuality and let's face it, there aren't many movies that have men that wear lingerie who are portrayed as straight. Can you blame someone if they think or fear that their panty-wearing boyfriend is actually gay?
I feel that we have a lot of work that needs to be done when it comes to undoing the stereotypes that people like us have.
Okay, let's lighten up a little, lol. Buy new panties and bras and cami and stockings and wear what makes you happy. Accept who you are, and embrace it.
Love, Hannah
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7 comments
Hi Hana. Thanks for your reply and kind words. You are right. And I have to buy underwear. That’s for sure. That’s my world.
My partner knows that I wear panties, but we haven’t really talked about it properly (hints and allusions), which has left me slightly nervous. Your article inspired/encouraged me to have a proper, open conversation and thank her for being accepting of this side of me. She is relaxed about it (my choice of underwear doesn’t affect her) and I feel better for talking. Thank you for that needed push – relationships are based on openness and honesty.