I truly enjoy contributing to these blogs, appreciate the comments, and I hope that they create thought provoking changes in your mindset. I realize along my journey of reading and writing these blogs it has done many things for me. It has made me realize that I am not alone, there is nothing wrong with me, and that I can build my confidence to share my stories, and hopefully in turn, inspire others to do the same. All we can do is try.
Something recently that has come to mind is what would “she say”? There are many when I have read comments on the blog that they truly enjoy the feeling of wearing lingerie. The enjoyment of the feeling it gives them, it lets them experience the feminine side of themselves, but yet they hide it away from their significant other. Now, understandably so. With my former spouse of many years, if I would have expressed this aspect of myself to her, well, let’s just say that the divorce proceedings would have come a lot faster than they did. I’ll leave it as; I wasn’t allowed the freedom to be myself. Judgment proceedings would have been swift, and the stories around it would have followed. How people love to tell stories. This was the past.
Let’s move into the present, and how I got here. When I met my significant other that I am with now, I made a commitment to myself that I would only be with someone who accepted me, for me, panties and all. (no warts involved). I made a commitment to myself that I would not settle, not hide, and to be with someone who I could share all of me with. Why hide a part of me that found joy, sensuality, and freedom. My way of expressing it is mine, but it truly has no meaning until it’s shared. So, early on when dating, I decided to pull off the band-aid so to speak (place holy shit here), and over a face-time video as I was out of the country, I told her that I enjoyed wearing women’s panties. Then, I waited for the response. Time stalled at this point. To which she responded, well, I would like to see it and experience it for myself and then decide if this was something that I would enjoy and accept. Thus, it was not a no. (place whew here) At that point, I knew that I was dating someone who was opening minded enough to at least consider accepting all of me. So, the journey began. Truth be told, she went to XDress online shortly after and ordered me my first pair of blue Valentina panties. Which we now dub as “the originals”.
Fast forward, she has possibly bought more lingerie on XDress for me than I have. We have gone to brick and mortar stores and bought matching lingerie. Each and every morning when I am home, we pick out each other’s bra and panty sets in the morning and have them at the ready when we get out of the shower. Often, we get ready in the morning together in our bra and panty sets in the bathroom. We have matching nighty and panty sets for bed. The request has come on numerous occasions for me to do a cat walk for her. When the new satin skirts came out from XDress, she was like… so??????? I will say that our intimate times together have gone to a completely new level. If I decide to put on a skirt and clean the house, she decides that cleaning the house is no longer a good idea. You take it from there.
So, to my point. For you are out there, and you know who you are, and if you decided to open up, be vulnerable, and be completely honest with your significant other, what would she say? Do you think that you will be pleasantly surprised by her response? Do you think she would be aghast at the idea? Would you have to explain that you are not gay, you love her, but have a feminine side that needs to be expressed? Would she understand? What would it look like on the other side of one simple question? I know that I have read about the situations where it has worked brilliantly and taken their relationship to a new level. I don’t think that I have read the alternative on these blogs. Would love for you to share your stories. Communities support and learn from each other, why don’t we do that? So, what would she say???
WB
22 comments
Well as u know, some of us have already been down this rd. I had to tell my wife and she stayed with me. We went to couples and individual therapy. She said she had an idea ( from doing my laundry 🧺 that my undies were questionable) I usually do my own.
She asked to see me in something. I chose a lace black panty and bra set.
She said i looked good in it. We had sexy time that one time but never again
One time soon after i asked if i could wear what i want while we were cleaning a room and she said yes. I wore bra panties a v neck top and womens jeans 👖
Another time soon after we went for a pedi together and she picked the color
We re in a dont ask dont tell situation
She knows but not the full extent
Tread carefully if u r going to tell. Read the room
Stevie
Hopefully she would be supportive of your vulnerability. It may not be for everyone but for those who understand and accept, the sky is the limit. You will find new found intimacy and non-judgemental relationships that will only help each of you be better people in this screwed up world. It is tough, I know, but when you get to that point with your SO, you will be sooooo much happier. I would preface that with a bit of caution: It may take the SO a minute to understand. If they truly love you, they will come around but you risk the loss of this SO and that is okay too. Be true to yourself and be happy!