Do’s and Don’ts Of Being a Gurl

Do’s and Don’ts Of Being a Gurl

Greetings dear readers. I hope this blog finds you well and healthy. I don’t know about you, but this whole virus thing is wearing me down. Anxieties are running high as we are confronted with living in a real-time science fiction movie right now. So, let’s take a break from all this and have some fun.

Today, I’d like to talk with you about a few do’s and don’ts in the world of crossdressing. I’m going to throw a few out just to get the conversation going. I’d love for you to share any do’s and don’ts that occur to you.

First, DO own who you are. What I mean is, a lot of us have struggled with acknowledging to ourselves that our sense of who we are is broader than the conventional definition of male and female. Just because you like to wear pretty things and let the inner femme come out doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. DON’T pathologize yourself. Just because you like to wear lingerie, skirts, and blouses does not mean that you are some kind of pervert or that the neighbors should keep their children locked in the house. Celebrate your inner femme! Be who you are!


Next, DO dress your age and body-build appropriate. If you are a middle-aged man who weighs 240 pounds, DON’T dress like a twenty-something lady of the night. The exception to this DON’T is cosplay. If you have fun role-playing, knock yourself out and have fun! XDress has some great cosplay outfits. What I’m talking about is everyday wear. If you can pass in public, this DO is especially important. I couldn’t begin to pass, but I still adhere to this rule.

Next, DO listen to your spouse or SO. DON’T outrun your spouse/SO, regarding her/his comfort level with how far you go with your cross dressing. Sometimes we have to take baby steps to stay in that special someone’s comfort zone. Listen, and be respectful.

Next, with regard to makeup, remember the adage – less is more. DO apply makeup tastefully. For an in-depth treatment on this topic, you can read my blog on makeup here. DON’T put on heavy makeup that makes you look like a circus clown – that is unless you are a circus clown. To get some great pointers, you can visit a beautician for a makeover. It’s not considered all that unusual anymore for men to get makeovers.

Regarding jewelry, the same rule applies as with makeup – less is more. DO wear tasteful rings, bracelets, necklaces, and earrings. DON’T look like Mr. T! I wear earrings and bracelets regularly – including out in public. It is fortunate that our society is becoming more accepting of men who wear both makeup and jewelry. Just don’t overdo it. Also, the quality of your jewelry is important. Junk jewelry looks exactly like that – junk.

One last DO for you: when you are dressed as a gurl, move like a gurl. DON’T walk like a football player. I’ve seen crossdressers that didn’t follow this rule, and they looked ridiculous. The difference in body motion between men and women is absolutely fascinating. When I first started studying this topic, I was amazed at the subtle differences. How we walk, hold our arms and hands, posture our bodies, the length of our stride, movement of hips – all of this differs from men and women.

Even how we look at our fingernails is different. Ask a man to look at his fingernails, and he will lift his hands and curl his fingers down, with the nails pointing downward. As a lady to look at her fingernails, and she will lift her hands and extend her fingers straight up. I’ve tested this difference with several men and women, and every single one of them showed this difference.  I have two recommendations for you to become better educated on this fascinating topic.

First, there are some excellent sites on the internet that have excellent information. Secondly, after you have become more informed from your research, start observing women – well, in a socially appropriate manner, that is. Once you know what you are looking for, you will spot the differences more easily. It’s especially helpful if you have a spouse/girlfriend who is accepting of your crossdressing. She can be both a role model and coach.

Okay, so much for my thoughts on the do’s and don’ts of being a gurl. Your turn. Let’s have some fun with this one. Share with all of us the do’s and don’ts that occur to you. If you don’t have one, chime in anyway. If you are like me, you have plenty of time on your hands right now, what with the stay at home order many of us are now under. Speaking of which, this is a direct order from you Aunt Angie – wash your hands frequently, avoid unnecessary travel/exposure, keep yourselves safe. I know, I know – you’ve heard all this about a bazillion times by now, but hey, I’m your self-appointed Aunt and I get to say stuff like that! Stay safe, stay pretty.

Finally a shout out to David and Kristina and the wonderful folks at XD/BA. Thanks for all the efforts you are taking to continue to supply us with our beloved lingerie while taking all precautions to keep us safe. You guys are the greatest!



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Sounds gorgeous Ally! I agree that the looser materials around the chest and shoulder are really flatter us well as it gives that illusion of a bigger bust and narrow shoulders.

I recently bought a few cowl neck tops that are absolutely exquisite, and I have felt so confident wearing a style before. It’s always a wonderful feeling when you can be feminine confident at the same time.

Dresses and skirts are such an essential piece to the feminine wardrobe and they are certainly the most comfortable (and beautiful) when you find the right kinds. I would never resort to just trousers as that’s all I did before I began dressing! Although, I do love a cute pair of leggings.

Anyway, enjoy your day everyone! I really do enjoy these comment threads.



I just thought I’d say that I am thriiled with the dress I bought earlier in the week. I tried it on yesterday and it is perfect. I don’t buy dresses that often as I don’t wear them much. I’ve been happy to go down the ‘feminine but trousered’ look of late. However, a conversation with Nathan on another blog here got me thinking of how much I enjoy a dress when it looks and feels right.

I spied a nice batwing dress in a sale and thought it would be really good on me. The thing I like about batwing dresses is that they give you room around the shoulders and chest. Men typically have broader shoulders and narrower hips than women and batwing dresses disguise that difference quite nicely whilst still resulting in a very feminine look.

The dress I chose had shorter sleeves than I would like, but I’m not terribly hairy and nor do I have forearms like a builder. It was a little shorter that I would normally wear but I’m ok with that too as my legs are not bad. It’s a beautiful jersey material again, with a nice multi-coloured metallic thread woven in. It has a lovely weight so that hangs well too. All the bumps disappear. I tried it on with my opaque hold-ups and black suade ankle boots and it was perfect. Just needs a little jewellery around the neck and some bangles on the wrists now.

It’s a bit of a party dress, so now I can’t wait to wear it out to a party! The I can try out the do’s and dont’s of being a gurl too!

Love to you all

Ally x


I agree that the tactile feeling of a bra is very sensual. Undressing is all the rage to me !
Wear something pretty today I am


I enjoy nylons, corsets, and recently male bras from Xdress but feel these are sensual not feminine. Love the sensuality of wearing nylon lingerie underneath while wearing a suit or flannel shirt and Levi’s. Thanks for “listening.”


Hi Stevie – yes. Where were all these comments 30 years ago. It was torture!

Just picked up a lovely new dress I bought today. Can’t wait to try it on!

Ally x


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