Do’s and Don’ts Of Being a Gurl

Do’s and Don’ts Of Being a Gurl

Greetings dear readers. I hope this blog finds you well and healthy. I don’t know about you, but this whole virus thing is wearing me down. Anxieties are running high as we are confronted with living in a real-time science fiction movie right now. So, let’s take a break from all this and have some fun.

Today, I’d like to talk with you about a few do’s and don’ts in the world of crossdressing. I’m going to throw a few out just to get the conversation going. I’d love for you to share any do’s and don’ts that occur to you.

First, DO own who you are. What I mean is, a lot of us have struggled with acknowledging to ourselves that our sense of who we are is broader than the conventional definition of male and female. Just because you like to wear pretty things and let the inner femme come out doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. DON’T pathologize yourself. Just because you like to wear lingerie, skirts, and blouses does not mean that you are some kind of pervert or that the neighbors should keep their children locked in the house. Celebrate your inner femme! Be who you are!


Next, DO dress your age and body-build appropriate. If you are a middle-aged man who weighs 240 pounds, DON’T dress like a twenty-something lady of the night. The exception to this DON’T is cosplay. If you have fun role-playing, knock yourself out and have fun! XDress has some great cosplay outfits. What I’m talking about is everyday wear. If you can pass in public, this DO is especially important. I couldn’t begin to pass, but I still adhere to this rule.

Next, DO listen to your spouse or SO. DON’T outrun your spouse/SO, regarding her/his comfort level with how far you go with your cross dressing. Sometimes we have to take baby steps to stay in that special someone’s comfort zone. Listen, and be respectful.

Next, with regard to makeup, remember the adage – less is more. DO apply makeup tastefully. For an in-depth treatment on this topic, you can read my blog on makeup here. DON’T put on heavy makeup that makes you look like a circus clown – that is unless you are a circus clown. To get some great pointers, you can visit a beautician for a makeover. It’s not considered all that unusual anymore for men to get makeovers.

Regarding jewelry, the same rule applies as with makeup – less is more. DO wear tasteful rings, bracelets, necklaces, and earrings. DON’T look like Mr. T! I wear earrings and bracelets regularly – including out in public. It is fortunate that our society is becoming more accepting of men who wear both makeup and jewelry. Just don’t overdo it. Also, the quality of your jewelry is important. Junk jewelry looks exactly like that – junk.

One last DO for you: when you are dressed as a gurl, move like a gurl. DON’T walk like a football player. I’ve seen crossdressers that didn’t follow this rule, and they looked ridiculous. The difference in body motion between men and women is absolutely fascinating. When I first started studying this topic, I was amazed at the subtle differences. How we walk, hold our arms and hands, posture our bodies, the length of our stride, movement of hips – all of this differs from men and women.

Even how we look at our fingernails is different. Ask a man to look at his fingernails, and he will lift his hands and curl his fingers down, with the nails pointing downward. As a lady to look at her fingernails, and she will lift her hands and extend her fingers straight up. I’ve tested this difference with several men and women, and every single one of them showed this difference.  I have two recommendations for you to become better educated on this fascinating topic.

First, there are some excellent sites on the internet that have excellent information. Secondly, after you have become more informed from your research, start observing women – well, in a socially appropriate manner, that is. Once you know what you are looking for, you will spot the differences more easily. It’s especially helpful if you have a spouse/girlfriend who is accepting of your crossdressing. She can be both a role model and coach.

Okay, so much for my thoughts on the do’s and don’ts of being a gurl. Your turn. Let’s have some fun with this one. Share with all of us the do’s and don’ts that occur to you. If you don’t have one, chime in anyway. If you are like me, you have plenty of time on your hands right now, what with the stay at home order many of us are now under. Speaking of which, this is a direct order from you Aunt Angie – wash your hands frequently, avoid unnecessary travel/exposure, keep yourselves safe. I know, I know – you’ve heard all this about a bazillion times by now, but hey, I’m your self-appointed Aunt and I get to say stuff like that! Stay safe, stay pretty.

Finally a shout out to David and Kristina and the wonderful folks at XD/BA. Thanks for all the efforts you are taking to continue to supply us with our beloved lingerie while taking all precautions to keep us safe. You guys are the greatest!



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I like to tell you that I am a mtf crossdresser and I am 72 years old and my wife is aware of my dressing and in fact we have gone shopping in malls as gurlfriends. I told my wife that I had a dream that i wore a long gold evening gown and 6 inch heels and she said oh my so I got up and put everything on and showed her and she said i look good as a women and that was overt twenty years ago. I have to admit that now being in a sexless marriage that i appreciate being with men more when i am out in public dressed. So gurls that are like me there is pleasure being out in public and dating men


Hi Christina. I found your post of April 12 very thought provoking. I’d like to share some thoughts that, hopefully, will be helpful to you. You said you are pre-op male to female transitioning. You also said you are having trouble bringing out your feminine side. I think “transitioning” may be key to what you are dealing with. As you transition, your sense of your total self is probably transitioning as well. When you said your “feminine side” what does that mean for you? I think most of the wonderful readers here have found this feminine sense of self to evolve and change over time. I certainly know that is true for me. It is possible you are having difficulty in bringing out your feminine side because you don’t know exactly who she is. If that is true, it begins to answer why you are having problems with choosing clothes and colors. Our clothing, after all, is an outward expression of the inner self. If that inner self is in flux for you, it would follow that the outer expression would be a very fluid thing at this point in your development.

I think the best advice I could give you is to, first of all, don’t overthink it. Don’t think of your feminine self as a goal, but rather as a journey. It changes over time. Secondly, although this is a terribly worn out cliche, live in the moment. That is, just be who you feel yourself to be at the moment without worrying about where you “should” be. If today you feel like wearing a skirt, wear a skirt. If today you feel more like wearing men’s blue jeans, that’s where you are in the moment – wear blue jeans. Just flow with it without imposing expectations on yourself. You’ve come far enough in your transition to, hopefully, throw off a lot of conventional societal expectations, so enjoy that freedom you have given yourself without boxing yourself in with self-imposed expectations of what your feminine self should look like. That will change over time. Just go with it sweetie, and see what happens!

Any thoughts from other folks here that might help Christina? We have some really smart readers here.

Fond regards,


I’m a Pre-Operation Male to Female and lesbian. And I’ve been having trouble bringing out my feminine side, my Fiance that’s also Male to Female and lesbian, and we’re also having trouble finding the right things to wear. She saw a few things and so did I but we can’t figure out which one to pick because we like each others picks, but can’t choose a color of our choices.


Hi Stevie – I’d forgotten how nice it is to wear a dress around the house. This one has a boat neck Nathan. I prefer cowl necks but I have a nice necklace I can wear with this one. I could do with a new bag though. A black suede clutch bag with this dress I think. That would go well with my ankle boots.

We just need parties to be allowed again now!

Ally x


Love dresses, never get to wear except at home, love them with heels 👠
Wear something pretty today, i am


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