Excuse my ignorance on this issue, but when my SO and I first started dating, I was uncertain as to whether a man could dress as a female (which I am) and not be gay or bisexual. The societal ‘norm’ of growing up in the western world in the 80’s led me to believe there was a simple answer. I have since learned the two are not necessarily related and the answer is not always as easy as it appears.
The look and feel of satin and lace has always made him feel pretty – even as a young boy trying on his sisters’ panties. Having repressed that part of himself for 40 odd years, allowing it to reawaken has come with much growth and self-awareness. What makes one person enjoy this and not the next is an unknown, … and does it really matter? What I wish for everyone is the freedom to be who they truly are.
I have always encouraged my SO to be true to himself – whatever that may look like. Sharing his enjoyment of wearing women’s lingerie and more, has given our relationship a new level of connection. He had agreed early on in our relationship to wear a dress and makeup for me – that was a beautiful evening. I had tried several times after this to encourage his dressing up, but to my disappointment, he decided it was not something he cared to do. I accepted this although I would ask every now and then just to be certain.
Finally, in November of this year, he decided to share all of himself with me and to share that he wants to wear women’s overwear. This was incredibly difficult for him to share and I feel privileged and blessed to be the one he shared this with. I understand the uncertainty and fear that goes with this as there are so many what if’s … What if she doesn’t understand? What if she doesn’t accept me? What if others find out? There, potentially, seemed to be so much at stake…
I was uncertain he would ever feel open enough and wasn’t sure he actually wanted to, though when I asked my SO if he had chosen a name for his feminine persona, it didn’t take long for him to share … Amelie. Her name means ‘hard working’ and is soft at the same time. It truly represents two aspects of him/her that I have come to know and care deeply about.
Amelie and I recently went for an overnight experience at a spa/hotel where we both experienced the relaxation of massage chairs and pedicures. It was the first time she ever indulged herself to experience this bliss. With my encouragement she had her nails painted with sparkling red gel – we enjoyed the experience and continue to enjoy the look of her feet.
After the pedicure, we went dress shopping and found several items that made her feel pretty and sensual. I saw her softer, more feminine side appreciating the satiny flow of the dresses as she tried them on in our hotel room. She did a little catwalk with her XDress glossy satin rosebud bra in denim and the matching panties, plus a black garter with fishnet stockings prior to modeling each chosen dress.
Once we chose a dress for her to wear for the evening, she agreed for me to complete her transformation with a natural foundation, smokey eyes, a deep shade of lipstick and a small amount of rouge. She looked stunning! We spent the evening with wine and Indian cuisine discussing what the future may hold.
Lots of Satiny Hugs!
Mike, not gay but do enjoy the fabrics and the different feelings they bring
Get ur lingerie on
Great Article you look extremely hot . I also love to wear the men’s lingerie and never miss the chance to wear them. I feel so comfy and tempting in it.. I will try this xdress also.
I to love to xdress. I wear silky/satin only.! No exceptions..strict policy of mine..stockings ,garter belts, boots. Hi heeled (of course) 2 pairs panties last one on backwards and pulled up tight to bra or around back..keeps the private area nice and flat ,smooth as silk..cover with a short dress or skirt, that’s when I feel like a lady.. then I’m ready for my date…thanks for the help with outfits xdress.com
I know. I’m pining for the return of those safe spaces where I can relax and chat freely with other dressers. I’m still getting out with some subtlety in heels, jeans and a little make up. This little corner of the universe is a welcome retreat but there’s nothing like being able to be yourself among others who share and appreciate the same interests.
Take care everyone
Hi ! Some time ago I didn’t come to the blog. It remains a wonderful space for exchanging experiences among all those who like us to feel like women. I congratulate TA, it is not always easy to find someone who accepts us as we are and encourages us to be and develop our gurl. Congratulations !
Hi everyone I wish that we could all dress as we want! That it was ok to dress anyway we wanted. Imagine that! A place where a guy can dress any way we wanted without scrutiny or embarrassment! I d wear male clothes sometimes female clothes sometimes! Sometimes a mix! The thing i d wear the most is heels.
Thank you for reading this article and for your contributions. This forum is a wonderful space! The support and suggestions are encouraging. Amèlie and I will definitely continue to explore what works best for us and our comfort zone. Lots of Satiny Hugs! TA
As well as the good work you are doing to dress him TA, I do also hope he is responding well to any schooling in deportment you may be giving him. I think it is so important to complete feminisation by by not only walking correctly in heels, but also sitting, eating, talking and carrying one’s bag correctly as well. This will contribute to his happiness and, I’m sure, increase your satisfaction with his behaviour too.
Many congratulations for what you have achieved so far. What you are doing is important work.
My fondest regards
TA- So happy you shared his femme name, such a pretty name! Also very happy to hear about your excursion and his ability to dress up! I imagine it was liberating for him (and you)! Look forward to hearing more about your progress and the fun places you will go!
I’m so pleased to hear about the progress you have made towards the feministion of your SO and that he is feeling the benefits too. His desire to dress has been unfairly denied for too long, so it is wonderful that you are releasing him in this way.
In my view our unhappiness with not being able to develop our feminine selves in this way should be addressed a lot earlier in our lives. I’m sure it would relieve a lot of the tension and prejudice caused by top down ‘masculinisation’ of the attitudes and behaviours of young males in particular.
Great work TA. I look forward to hearing about the further progress you make.
I’m a Bisexual/Xdresser man that finds either being a bi-man or a xdresser to be very sexually rewarding. When I’m bi, I get to have my cake and eat it too…. So, when I’m a xdresser, I can get many men that loves having me be with them, either out in public or alone at home. I’m extremely sexual and love to please either sex or both together. If I had to be either one, it would have to be a xdresser because, I get men and they want to be with me to fill their needs. I know how to talk to a guy to get him to get what I want. I’ve had 2 guys propose to me!!! They love it because I know what they want (it isn’t just the sex) so I play with them and that gets what I want. Guys love it when, I’m a lady in public and a whore in bed, satisfying all of their erotic/sexual needs. Skirts (from xdress.com), thigh high stockings, pumps or thigh high boots, a very sexy top, the right make-up and killer perfume gets them quickly. Once they find out I’m a xdresser, it’s hard (lol) for them to keep it in their pants…… I get what I want and then they get what they want!! So, a huge “thank-you” to xdress.com for giving me some of the goods I need to be someone I love to be………
Gay here and have liked the feel of satin, silk, nylon, polyester, etc, so my focus is on the feel of the fabric not male/female identity…..like wearing a flannel shirt and Levi’s with a satin or nylon Xdress bra, nylons, garter belt and a polyester or nylon jock……equally enjoy wearing leather under shirt and jeans…..to me it is all about the feel! Anyone else feel this way? (Did try dressing in full drag, just isn’t me……)
I can relate to your SO ,I have for so long wanted to do that very same thing.
This is a great article. I have the same feelings, and love dressing as a woman. it is a softer feeling and more relaxing when I am wearing women’s clothing and letting my mind wander. thank you David