Who Told Us How to Dress?

I’m really excited to be invited to write a guest blog post here; everything about Xdress, this brand, this lingerie, makes me happy. The stylish, bold photographs, the stunning designs, the beauty. And it also feels a little “naughty”, a little taboo, a little or a lot different. Yes, even in 2022.

And why should that be? Who created the “norms” of who should wear what? Is what is considered “acceptable” today different from the past? And if we desire something different, how does that get created?

A brief google search reveals what I intuitively knew: the gender distinctions of who wears what are comparatively new, as are ideas such as blue for a boy and pink for a girl. In the past, men have sported skirts, dresses, togas, as well as high heels and make-up.

And then it all changed. It was in the Victorian era that the delineation of clothing by gender became more defined. It went so far that some US cities even made cross dressing illegal, in the nineteenth and early twentieth century.

Thankfully, this seems almost inconceivable now, and we have a new phenomenon where many people desire to free themselves from gender roles, and gender delineations, and this is reflected in the fashion scene where there is a trend towards gender-neutral.

Men's pink ribbed cami and pantyXDress' Eco Ribbed Cami & Panties

There is another interesting dynamic here. It seems that women choosing to wear men’s clothing has always been more socially acceptable than vice versa. Throughout history, there are instances of women dressing as men in order to have the societal freedoms that are afforded to men. Generally, men are “higher” in the social hierarchy, so women choosing to dress as men is somehow seen as an advancement or a betterment. When men dress as women, this can appear the opposite, and cause suspicion and confusion. And of course prejudice.

Beyond this, a woman wearing her husband’s shirt can be sexy. Actually, this reminds me of borrowing my Dad’s shirts when I was a teenager, and this was in fashion – and definitely sexy. There can sometimes be a sense when a man wears a dress it’s something a bit ridiculous, and far from sexy.

Of course, this is not so with Xdress underwear. The way this underwear is presented, the way the men are being as they pose is bold, different, daring, unconventional, unapologetically sexy and actually in a way exciting. These pictures, this “advertising” is so challenging to the “norm” even nowadays that there are several social media platforms that push back against allowing Xdress to advertise.

When something is so different that it is banned, this often comes with a fight against the mainstream,  a resistance and reaction to the norms – a bit like a teenage rebellion, or a “F-you” to the establishment - we will have our lacy underwear, we will be different, and you can keep your normal ways of dressing and behaving and die of boredom!

This violence, this force, and antagonism in the expression of the difference can create reaction and violence from the other side, which leads to repression – which of course we are so familiar with.

When I look at the models in XDress photographs, what shines out for me is the models’ enjoyment of the lace, the thong, the tight fit, the bra,………………My sense is they know they look good, and they enjoy that too – and not from a sense of “superiority”, just from a feeling of confidence that their choice in underwear gives them. They know what works, they know who they are, and they actually don’t care what other people think, positive or negative.

And when I say they don’t “care”, this is from the space of so enjoying what they are choosing and being true to themselves that not only are other people’s opinions irrelevant, they don’t have the need to even wonder what they are.


Men's purple lace panties and braXDress' Purple Valentina Panties & Bra

The underwear is an invitation just to enjoy life. So, wearing clothes to decorate the body while making the body feel happy and alive, does not have to be the sole domain of women. XDress’ gorgeous, sensual fabrics, unique colors, and unusual designs are an invitation to opulence, luxury, hedonism, and enjoyment.

And my point of view - as with everything in life, what’s the point if it’s not fun? What’s the point if it doesn’t feel good? This underwear is an invitation to truly enjoying the feel of the fabric, the luxury of satin on your skin, the decoration of lace. It is somehow saying our bodies are important, enjoyment and hedonism are valuable, our bodies deserve to be given sexy, attractive clothing, whether we are male or female, gay or straight, and whatever the prevailing ideas about clothing are.

And my sense is that through this bold, unapologetic choice to be different with underwear and clothing, with luxury and enjoyment, acceptance will follow. Other people who may secretly desire something different in their clothing will feel enabled and gain the courage to go for it. Even if things don’t change as quickly as we might wish, at least in the meantime, those people who desire something different can have it, even if they are not allowed to share it on social media! 


Fiona, Guest Blogger


Well that’s a promising start Rich. I’d have thought it a little more promising if she’d said, “It might give the A&E department a bit of a surprise, but that’s their problem” – rather than pointing out the potential embarrassment of the wearer. But there we are, you’ve made a start. I’ll follow your progress with interest. Following up Stevie’s point – yes, I’d love dresses that fit nicely and which I can happily wear outdoors. I have my eye on some nice summer dresses that are shift, pinafore and tunic style – things that don’t have a shaped bust or tight waist. Things that just look natural and will slip over a man’s body – i.e. broad shoulders and no waist. It shouldn’t be much to ask should it? Until later. Good luck Rich Ally x

Ally August 13, 2022

Yes slow dips into the pool will probably work better
As far as the accident goes, the ER workers have seen it all!

Stevie August 12, 2022

Thanks for the support Ally and Stevie, and your interest. I’ve taken on board your advice and comments and have decided to approach any explanation of my lingerie wearing desires to my wife with small tentative steps rather than a full wholehearted disclosure. To that end, I did slip into conversation with my wife just yesterday that I had read something about some men who have a preference for wearing women’s panties instead of boxers and that this is more common than people would expect! Her response? She simply commented that it doesn’t matter what people wear as long as they’re comfortable, but that it could be a bit embarrassing for them if they had an accident and had to go to hospital! I haven’t progressed this conversation any further with her yet but will probably try to over the coming days. Thanks again (I will update you further in due course) Rich

Richard August 11, 2022

On outerwear
I like the idea of outerwear from xdress, because they make clothes for men in man proportions which target wont have! They cater to us with styles and fabrics we like
So i m for outerwear

Stevie August 11, 2022

On the outerwear
One reason i d like to see xdress do outerwear is that they make clothes for men in our sizes in our shapes and proportions! Target makes dresses in the proportions for women
Just a thought
Be sexy and beautiful in lingerie

Stevie August 11, 2022

Please don’t do outerwear. You can buy outerwear literally anywhere! Xdress’s sexy lingerie is one of a kind. Ally try going to Target for outwear. They have cute stuff.

Devon August 10, 2022

Anxious to see your response Richard! Remember this is a safe space to discuss this incredibly volatile topic!

Stevie August 10, 2022

To Richard (Thanks Ally) your advice is even more thorough and insightful than mine and on point! The other risk is if she finds out by accident!!!! Oh boy thats even worse! Read Allys carefully and take heed if u can


Stevie August 10, 2022

Hi Richard – it’s a big risk. However open minded and adventurous your wife might seem, seeing her husband in lingerie and knowing he is excited (aroused?) by wearing it might be one adventure too far for her. As usual, Stevie has some sage advice. Perhaps even introduce the element specific to you by explaining it was something you felt when you were ten. What you feel now might come after that. Is telling her worth the risk to your relationship? Does her not knowing actually do your relationship any harm? Is the burden of secrecy something you can or cannot bear? More delicate yet, is your sexual relationship suffering because your lingerie and heel wearing is more exciting than unattired sex with her? This latter point may (just may) may be the bigger issue for you and ultimately require a gentle, but difficult conversation – with an unpredictable outcome. Your wife doesn’t have to accept you dressing in lingerie any more or less than she should have to accept you being excited (aroused?) by you dressing as Darth Vader. I think people are entitled to secrets if no harm is being caused. Can you manage your dressing to your satisfaction with no harm to you or her? Or can you gauge her response by gently trying out her views? And is your dressing and her knowing about it more important than the possible consequences for your relationship? Life is rarely straightforward. Ally x

Ally August 08, 2022

Dont do the surprise thing
First be ready for lots of questions! About ur sexuality, sex changes, trans etc even the gay question .
Figure out y u do it to the best of your ability

Gauge ur wife by discussing trans issues in the news

She may b accepting of others but not her “manly man”

Once u decide to do it
Sit her down tell her how much u live her
That u don’t want to change sexes unless u do
That u cant keep things from her
And the tell her as gently as
Show her this site and other good blogs that dont give this a perverted slant
Hold is gonna be bumpy
We re here to help

Stevie August 07, 2022

I really enjoyed reading this blog and all of the comments and would welcome any advice. I have been secretively wearing lingerie since the age of 10 or 11 and have been through many cycles of denial, resistance and confusion about my 30+ year secret. I think that I have now come to a point where I have accepted my compulsion to wear lingerie, although I really don’t understand why I feel such excitement when I dress up, particularly anything made from satin. With my acceptance of the lingerie wearing side of me, I have now developed a strong feeling and need to share my secret with my wife (I have been married for 8 years). I would love to be able to feel comfortable being dressed up when I’m with her but really don’t know how to bring the topic up. I’m also really worried about how she might react, even though she is the most open minded and adventurous women I’ve ever known. I’m sitting here wearing satin panties and suspenders with some glossy stockings and 6” heels and am strongly tempted to stay dressed up for when my wife gets home from work, but I just know that I’ll lose the courage to before she returns! Any help or shared experiences would be great. Thanks, Rich

Richard August 07, 2022

Good call Stevie A knee length cotton summer dress with long puff sleeves, a high neck and in the same pattern as the Xdress Katy underwear sets would be nice. Or maybe one a little sorter in the same pattern or plain black. Ally x

Ally July 25, 2022

Ally I m with you, xdress, ur next step is outerwear

Stevie July 25, 2022

I would love for Xdress to come out with a bridal collection. I think that would be so much fun to fulfill that fantasy.


Joey July 23, 2022

It’s great that Xdress provides such beautiful and sexy lingerie for men. All the styles and materials I’ve always dreamed of – and it fits my male body. I just wish I could get everyday outerwear that did the same thing. Buying women’s sizes is so hit and miss. What fits in one place doesn’t fit in another. Xdress does some really sexy skirts and dresses and I have a few. Something I can wear out during the day would be nice though. Ally x

Ally July 21, 2022

I am a Gay submissive genetic male who loves dressing en feme and my male partners love me to be feminine and to perform the girl’s role and we are very happy to have Exdress as my habituary

Lynn July 17, 2022

Thanks Stevie, I know how lucky I am to have my wife on board, in fact she loves me to dress up as much as, if not more, than I do. I’d encourage anyone to try and share their love of wearing lingerie with their SO because, if they’re accepting of it or, even better, if they enjoy it too, it helps create or enhance the most intimate and loving relationship. I have found the whole experience with my wife liberating because I no longer feel the need to hide this part of me or feel embarrassed or ashamed of it as I have in the past. The benefits for her? She tells me that she loves the definite increase in passion when we’re intimate whilst I’m dressed up and, even though I definitely don’t have a feminine body, she tells me that she finds the whole effect of me wearing lingerie incredibly sexy to see and touch.

John July 16, 2022

I feel ya
Cudos to u and ur wife
Especially her
I too can’t really explain my proclivity for dressing feminine but oh how i love it
Cant say my wife is on board but glad urs is
Get ur lingerie on
I did

Stevie July 16, 2022

I have felt compelled to wear women’s underwear for as long as I can remember. I’ve never understood why and regularly tried to resist or deny my desire and urges at various times over the years. I love wearing feminine lingerie and kept this as my secret for over 40 years, including throughout my first marriage of 15 years. About 5 years ago I met an amazingly wonderful and open minded partner, who is now my wife. After we met I gradually hinted to her about my secret love of lingerie and she gradually encouraged me to dress up for her, initially trying panties and slowly progressing to other items of lingerie. I now love nothing more than dressing up for her in panties, stockings, suspenders, basques/corsets and high heels, and she loves it too (and finds it a massive turn on!). I’ve stopped trying to understand or explain my lingerie desires and now just enjoy my little ‘quirk’ wholeheartedly (and being able to share this all with an amazing woman just makes everything that much more exciting and enjoyable). I now have a large selection of lingerie from several women’s underwear stores but none can match my xdress collection for the fit, comfort and absolute sexiness!

John July 15, 2022

Thank you Fiona for the blog. My choice is to dress all under in erotic wear, be it more traditional men’s underwear or Xdresses made for men panties, bras, garter belts, nylons, etc. Had tried women’s underwear, bras, etc in the past but did not like the “feel” but have become a huge Xdress fan. Whether a masculine male in lingerie or a crossdresser getting in touch with their feminine side lingerie is for men also.

Mike July 14, 2022

Gender fluidity is celebrated and often revered in many cultures including Polynesian and indigenous Australian and American nations. The conservative religious outfits have made a decision that their interpretation of gender is correct and this then makes it more difficult for penis and vagina owners to dress as they feel most comfortable. Its comforting to know Xdress is there with stunning lingerie for undercover comfort for many. Its a real shame so many have a fixed and very incorrect idea of freedoms that will use emotional blackmail to stop their partners from enjoying clothing choices that makes them feel good.

Steve July 12, 2022

Thanks for the support Steve. Thank you for your support dear friends. It is so inspiring that you are not alone, that there are friends who will support, help with good advice, find the most beautiful and magical underwear, which is designed for a handsome, courageous and feminine man. Let’s go forward!!!

Andi July 11, 2022

Fantastic commentary, we have to push forward to b ourselves! It feels so good when I do. I encourage you to do the same!
It took me a long time to own my love of lingerie and still maintain my masculinity! So if ur not trans (trans is ok too) its ok to be masculine and adorn yourself with beautiful lingerie and enjoy the feel of the fabrics!

Be beautiful my friends and get your lingerie on


Stevie July 11, 2022

Agree with all the thoughts you raised here. Are we happy when we wear beautiful lingerie? This is the main question. In these moments I swim in happiness… And it’s wonderful.

Andi July 10, 2022

Great blog. I do think the “norms” are changing and being strong enough in your own skin is important. Who cares what others think? Why do we care about what others think? Do what makes YOU happy!

Scott July 09, 2022

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