I was young, like most of us probably were. I didn't think there was anything wrong with wanting to wear what I wanted to wear, but I somehow knew it had to be a secret. I was around five years old when I finally did it. I opened the closet and I took my mom's high heels and brought them into another room to try them. Of course, I was in love with how they looked on me. I couldn't wait to grow up and have a pair of heels for myself.
The excitement was quickly overtaken by... fear? The fear of being caught, I imagine. No, what took over was guilt. I grew up being told that boys wore certain clothes and shoes and did not wear pretty dresses and makeup. I knew that, but I didn't know why not. I couldn't understand why everybody didn't want to wear pretty dresses. Weren't skirts and heels more fun?
These days I have more heels and dresses than I ever could have imagined. The latest addition to my lingerie drawer is Xdress' Glistening Satin Camisole (in pink of course) and the Little Miss Muffet Tea Dress hangs in my closet begging to be worn. I think I need to match that cute little dress with a pair of white Mary Jane Platform heels. What do you think?
Having a lot of beautiful panties to chose from didn't happen overnight. It takes time to fill a lingerie drawer... but is there anything more fun than building your lingerie wardrobe? Picking out high heels and cute dresses takes more than just doing some shopping. You need to give yourself permission to be fabulous and to give yourself permission to wear whatever you want to wear.
We've all wondered why we do this. What does this mean? Why do we want to wear bras (with matching panties, garter belts and black seamed stockings, of course)? We see beautiful dresses at the mall and there's this.. longing in our hearts to wear it. We love the sound of high heels clicking on the floor and we imagine how amazing it would be to walk confidently in the office wearing a pair of black patent stilettos, too.
Are we gay? Is that what this means? No. Wanting to wake up in a cute little nightgown does not mean you are gay. It's a normal thing to think, and it's usually the first thing we are asked when we tell someone that we love wearing what we love to wear. There's no connection between sexuality and clothing. Some of us have a hard time allowing ourselves to wear that satin camisole under our business suit because, well, men don't wear lingerie. Men aren't supposed to wear panties (with ribbons and bows, naturally). Many of us have this...fear, this guilt, perhaps even shame of wanting to wear what we want to wear.
I'm sure you know this, but it never hurts to be reminded of this: There's nothing wrong with wanting to wear lingerie, beautiful dresses, towering high heels, winged eyeliner or whatever you want to wear. It also doesn't mean anything. It doesn't change your sexuality, it doesn't mean you were born with the wrong body, it doesn't mean that you are meant to transition. The only thing it means is that you love wearing lingerie. Whether it makes you feel sexy, beautiful, relaxed or confident, you don't need a reason to wear panties. Or a bra. Or a miniskirt.
Once I fully embraced who I was, that's when my closet started to fill with dresses and my panty drawer and my stocking drawer started to overflow. I look at my wardrobe and I remember it took more than shopping to have such an amazing closet.
It took giving myself permission to be who I am... to be FABULOUS.
So, buy that corset you've been dreaming about! Fall asleep in that nightie like you've always wanted! Wear a matching cami and panty set under your boring business suit!
Lingerie is a gift you give yourself... and so is loving yourself.
Love, Hannah
27 comments
Hi Steffi! So glad to hear you have embraced yourself and how the love of lingerie is universal no matter how you identify.
Love, Hannah
I let myself feel guilty and ashamed of my love of feminine clothes for forty years. No more. As of last fall, I have been going out in pretty outfits that are appropriate to the seaso. I don’t need anyone’s permission or approval. If you don’t think I look nice in a yellow silk tea dress over a lace camisole while I am out shopping, then tough nuts to you. Say it loud, I’m skirted and I’m proud!
Very nice blog, Hanna. We are so on the same page. As you said, wanting to wear pretty, lacy things with bows is not about sexuality. It’s about who we are inside, and yes, it is fabulous! My wife likes to wear jeans, flannel shirts, and loves power tools. Does that make her gay? Absolutely not, and she can do the girly girl thing really well. Like you and me, she is gender fluid and loves it. Binary gender is so not a part of our home, and we love it! Thank you for your thoughtful blog which, I’m sure, speaks to the majority of our community.
Charlie, I’m excited for you in this, your first order of panties and cami. Once you put them on, there’s no turning back! Keri, as always, great reply. Don’t you just love a smooth, satiny nightie?
Fondly,
Angie
There is nothing like weaing a great pair of panties and a sexy bra with my Brest form under my red dress with thigh high with 4 in shoes. Fill free to be your shelf wear what makes you happy
Hi Keri!
Yes, this is not a phase you outgrow. Embrace and love who you are.
Love, Hannah