The definition of double standard is, “a rule or principle that is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups.” If you are reading this blog, chances are you are a cross dresser (let’s just refer to CD) or an ally. Assuming that to be correct, you know a great deal about double standards. We present to the word outside as male while at the same time presenting to ourselves and, if truly fortunate, to our significant other, as the blended person we know ourselves to be. Women can dress as men, but the same standard isn’t applied to us; quite the opposite.
One of those double standards is in the advertising industry. Think about it – women’s lingerie is abundantly advertised in television and print media. What might have been once considered shocking, if not downright pornographic is common today – women appearing in television ads in bra and panties; the printed posters in the mall (in the windows facing out to the mall) from women’s lingerie stores showing women in scant lingerie. Do you see any men’s underwear advertised on television or at the mall in such a manner? If you do, let me know, because to date I’ve never seen such a thing.
That makes me wonder – what is the message here? Is it that women’s bodies are more highly prized than men’s or is it the sexualizing of women and the preserving of the superiority of men? In my perfect world, men would be free to explore the wonder of lingerie. When I put on my first pair of panties, I knew I was done with traditional men’s underwear. Let’s see – heavy scratchy and sweaty, or light, tender to the skin and airy? Duh – I’ll go for panties! Let’s not stop there – let’s go with bras and camisoles. Why should a man not enjoy these wonderful tactile delicacies? The only underwear I have seen publicly displayed on men in the media is boxer shorts. Out of curiosity, I tried a pair of boxer shorts many years ago and they immediately went into the donation bag. If you want something like boxer shorts, why not something elegant like tap pants?
Why not have publicized ads for things like the Xdress Glistening Satin & Lace bra and panty set? They are far from pornographic and are quite pretty. Their design very nicely complements the male form without being inappropriate. Or how about the Xdress Satin High Waist Tricot Panty? These are very conservative panties, and anyone who thinks they are pornographic has a serious problem. Just looking at them, you know they have to be comfortable. Why could these not be advertised? Oh, I forgot – only women’s bodies can be displayed in intimate underclothing. While I’m creating my perfect world, let’s also have general public advertising for the Xdress Lace & Satin Whisper Bralette (a personal favorite of mine) and the very pretty Secret Satin Camisole. Why keep it secret – the media should celebrate such an attractive, comfy garment.
I could go on and on, but I want to pose the question to you – what does this difference in advertising say to you? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Angie, Guest Blogger
21 comments
Thank you all for your most interesting thoughts on my blog post.
It seems that the most controversial thing at issue from my blog is what to call ourselves. “Cross dresser” is apparently not a term you appreciate, and I welcome the discourse on that. The great question is, what then shall we call ourselves? All the world is ordered according to labels. Democrat, Republican, male, female, child, youth, adult, black, white, Native American, Hispanic, Asian, Chevrolet, Ford, the list goes on and on. It is our human need to classify things in order to keep them in order. What then shall we call ourselves? The great rock singer, Prince (God rest his soul and I loved how weird he was!) changed his name into a symbol. All we knew was to say, “The former Prince who now has no name.” We lost our label of him – his name.
What then shall we call ourselves? Shall we be referred to as “Those who were previously called cross dressers”? Seems kind of awkward to me. I’ve heard the term “gender fluid” which seems to fit – we are (well most of us) a bit of male and a bit of female – across a very broad spectrum. We understand that we are more than just one binary designation, but where does that put us? What then shall we call ourselves? Beyond that question, how do we want to be seen? What I’ve seen through the posts I’ve read so far is that all of you want to be seen as normal, even though your clothing is not traditional. I so agree with you, and would love the freedom to freely dress as I choose. I so agree with Chris that to have a store for XDress in the same manner as Vicki’s Secret at the mall that shows men in beautiful lingerie would be the leading edge of where we want to go. And no, Harry, we do not want to be seen “in the corner of porn and weird.” (Nicely said, by the way.)
So all this said, I would love to hear your thoughts on the question: “What then do we call ourselves?” As a side note, I would appreciate holding your political thoughts to yourself. This is not the forum for that, and opinions vary widely. This blog is not a place for a political debate. Thank you so much.
Kindest regards,
Angie
Guest Blogger
I would agree with Chris …. men wearing panties or lingerie is not a conservative or liberal thing and whoever the leaders are has nothing to do with expressing yourself or just wearing sexy comfortable underwear. So bringing politics into this is just absurd. That being said, society norms are changing and hopefully one day soon I can go into a department store with my wife and shop for men made panties or bras or teddies that are displayed on the mannequins, hanging on racks, and/or laying out on tables. This would allow us to feel the material and check the sizes and styles before buying.
Whoever made the Pence comment is ridiculous. Him being in office has nothing to do with it. You want to force your beliefs on someone but, you don’t want to listen to others. Panties, lingerie, whatever it’s clothes. It’s 2018 and regardless of your sex, religious beliefs, you should feel comfortable in your clothes. Labeling this still as cross dressing is a problem. It should be normal and eventually it will gain momentum. Its normal to see half naked women in advertising, store fronts, TV (if you still watch that mess) the world is changing and soon whenever a brand like XDress steps out, I think it’ll become main stream overtime. Just needs to be labeled as normal. Plenty of everyday men, like the feel of something sexy. Regardless of their background. Nowadays everyone want their own label, everyone wants a group. You’re either man or woman. Make it mainstream for every man to wear not just men who are into Cross Dressing. Do we call Ellen a cross dresser for wearing a suit everyday? No we don’t. So let’s stop callin men who wear panties, lingerie or a skirt cross dressers. We are normal dudes.
If you keep using the expression "cross dressing " then it will always be in the corner of porn and weird.
I dress myself with cloths made for men. Designs and concepts that are certainly not common in a mans closet. And yes, they look more like what was used exclusively by women in that few hundred years.
But my dresses and skirts that I use everyday and always do have their history as clothes for men. Kilts, sulu’s and the túnica for working in the rice fields…
My other comment is about putting on somebody else’s skin to learn more about the person.
During and around the world wars , women were necessary for all kinds of jobs and here started the feminism period. As you look close you could also say the period of becoming more man, or, may be, more balanced in masculine and feminine. Women are more man and better prepared for the lives we’re living now. I am convinced that men need such a period as well in order to be able to change this madhouse world in a better one.
Giving up putting everything in etiqueted boxes will help, or is part of, our evolution.
Men must become more woman and only for that it is interesting to cross the line of "typically for women "
All of us would love to see this in our stores and shops. The attitudes of the employees are changing and we are now treated better by most. Now all we need to do is get rid of the so called leaders of our country. As long as Pence is in office we will never move toward