Let's Talk Confidence!

Let's Talk Confidence!

Where does it come from? Is it a gradual process of accumulated experiences, or can a single thought or event trigger it? How do you build up enough confidence-or courage-to actually do something that you've always wanted to do but wouldn't have thought yourself capable of or brave enough to- to go over the edge, jump off the cliff? Especially when that something goes completely against the culture/conventions you were brought up with.

In my case the something was wanting to wear full female clothing in public, but for me it was-still is!-a really scary thought, and there’s a constant fear or doubt lurking. However thanks in no small way to XDress and you guys in the XD community, sufficient confidence has overcome the fear, and I thought it was worth sharing my journey with you; you've helped me jump off the cliff and I’m flying, so hopefully my experience might encourage some others amongst you to gain that confidence, unshackle yourselves and feel free! I really do hope so.

XDress has been a very recent discovery for me, and boy has it changed my life!

I'll come to the products later, notably the pink satin panties, but the various blogs ring so true and I can identify with so many comments too. You guys are so brave even just talking about this, quite apart from those of you who are also venturing out!  Just reading through the comments made me realize that I'm not alone, and that on its own has been a huge confidence builder-you’re inspirational!

Brief background - I'm a straight male, I've never wanted to be a female, but all my life I've wanted to wear lingerie, and there have been periods where it was more or less easy to do so, but it was always in secret. Initially it was a fascination with suspenders and stockings, and the feel of the nylon against my legs. Then the wonderful discovery of pretty silky panties and how lovely and sexy they look and feel.

But that was as far as it went for many years as life took its course. Wearing lingerie with a girl or lady was a dream, but sadly I've never had an understanding girlfriend or SO, and that's probably my fault as much as theirs. I was married for several years, but we drifted apart.

Those years went by with the lingerie desire rumbling in the background, but there was no obvious opportunity to break out-far less the confidence to do so. I did wear panties to work and felt great, but it wasn't going anywhere. I suppose you get comfortable where you are-we all do, don't we?

So what got me out of my comfort zone?

I'm still working it all out, but it's been a mixture of an ongoing process-the “rumble”- and several more recent  and specific things,  some of which probably seem obvious from the outside although difficult to see yourself at the time, some very surprising- certainly to me-coming completely from left field, but they've all conspired to make me jump off that cliff, and I'm so happy I have finally done it.

After my wife and I split up, I've had more time and opportunity to dress, and that’s been important. My adult daughter is living in, but even so there's been a lot more freedom to slip into bra, panties, stockings and suspenders on a more regular basis and it started to feel more comfortable and natural; I became more relaxed, even when wearing them outside under male clothing.

I added a pink PVC maid's dress from a local seamstress-just gorgeous with white glossy stockings and lingerie-must be a submissive in me trying to get out! Also a wig and shoes-so I was getting there, but still all in secret.

The key catalyst, in my pre-XDress life-was buying silicone breast forms! Having a full bra just makes me really comfortable, I just feel complete. Such a lovely feeling when they warm to your body, and a gorgeous subtle bounce as you move. But what really surprised me was that rather than wanting to hide the breasts from view-the fear factor, counterintuitively I wanted people to know I was wearing them, to see me wearing them. It was a strange sensation, but it probably took me to the cliff edge. It just felt right. So confidence came out winner in this battle!

The lady who supplied them has been so patient, supportive and encouraging ("be yourself!") -advising on the right bra style and fit-wonderful customer service.

Everything was making me feel more free, being the me that I wanted to be, it was wonderful but still largely in secret, or disguised when I wore them outside.
I should say at this point that I have been to a fetish event in Birmingham (UK), wearing my maid's outfit-a terrific experience and in public, but a very restricted and totally sympathetic public, so there was no real chance of embarrassment to others, therefore I don't really count it! Embarrassing other people is really my biggest fear-what might/must they be thinking? But I'm sure it helped me just being there.

So having got myself to the cliff edge, what made me jump?

Well it was XDress and you guys-yes! It's all your fault-and thank you from the bottom of my heart! I chanced on the website when googling-more in hope than expectation- "men's pink satin panties" to match my maid's dress, and XDress popped up.

And there were the panties I had to have! What a wonderful product range, and all made for men!  Gorgeous panties in lovely styles and shades. I ordered 2 pink pairs +the matching Merry Widow, and while waiting for delivery started reading your blogs-it was as if they had been written for me.

That enthused me, then the panties arrived! As soon as I put them on, that was it! -so pretty, smooth and soft, fit like a dream-it must sound daft, but wearing them felt and looked so good that I knew I was about to go over the edge. That very same evening, shaking like a leaf, I walked up to a new local store, not too far away, for some groceries, wearing my pink satin panties, best lingerie-swopped to black stockings to at least be slightly less conspicuous! - and breast forms, a white top, short black skirt and cardigan, wig and shoes-small heels! The panties just felt drop dead gorgeous-would recommend them to absolutely everyone.

Talk about being scared, but there weren't many people around and it worked out- it was so lovely just to be me, and no longer caring what other people might think. And those I had to speak to, mainly in the store-were so polite! Having walked up there, I floated back home!

So there you are-physically a small step for Georgina but psychologically a huge one-and still coming to terms with it, but so happy and excited to have done it, and will be going up there again soon. Need to tread carefully, so small steps for the time being, but wow!

Next step may be make-up, not sure. I've never used it, preferring to be me as I am-what do you all feel about make-up? Does it add or detract? I know I’ll never look pretty or female, and I’m not too worried about that, but perhaps I ought to try!  For me the main thing is that I feel pretty from the panties outwards.

So that's how a shy inherently cautious guy finally got out the door and went public. The confidence to do so came largely from 2 totally unexpected sources-a breast form supplier and XDress, both completely unknown to me until recently.

Thank you XDress!-and I will be back for more pretty panties soon!

Never lose the dream, guys-seek and you shall find!

Love to all,


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John-I feel for you, that’s exactly where I was a few weeks ago! It will happen, trust me-an opportunity will appear, and you’ll go for it. By nature I’m a cautious person, but I was ready, I felt good, it was getting dark, so off I went. One word of advice-for a first outing make sure your shoes are really comfortable!-I found myself walking much faster than usual, and had to tell myself to slow down- you want to blend in, and heels can be an issue! I’m also completely with you regarding the blurred lines. That’s why I’m so surprised at myself loving breast forms and being happy for people to see my bust. Somethings just don’t add up and you have to go with it! Last thought-if you are UK based and within shouting distance of Birmingham, you could try the Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar-3rd Sunday of every month, you can dress as you want in a friendly, safe and welcoming environment-might be a good chance to test the water? Good luck!


Well done and congratulations on your courage and confidence Georgina. I too love wearing satin lingerie and stockings and have recently purchased heels and a couple of skirts. I’d like to have the bravery to venture out but am not quite there yet. I don’t really want to pass as female (although I wouldn’t mind trying) but really like the blurred lines and androgynous results of being an obvious and masculine man wearing obviously feminine clothes. I’m hoping that I can build the confidence to venture out whilst wearing my satin panties, bra and garter belt along with my glossy stockings, heels and a figure hugging skirt or dress (whilst keeping my cropped hair and my beard!). I love my look in the privacy of my home and am working towards taking my first steps out into the world. The acceptance you have found so far can only help me to find the confidence I need. John


That is huge step and much further than I am willing to try. Recently my wife and I went on a vacation to Florida, 90% of my wardrobe was female, but all were “gender fluid.” For instance on the plane I was dressed in a bra and panties, woman’s white socks, unisex sneakers, VS Pink joggers, t shirt and hoodie. My wife and I got matching toe nail polish (white) and although her fingernails have extensions, we both had a slight French manicure. Oh and just a little mascara. (A side not, I take my bra off before going through TSA and put it back on when done. I don’t want the security officers to pay me down if it shows that I have more than expected going through the check point) I know how blessed and lucky I am that my wife is so supportive, we enjoy shopping together and she likes that when I am dressed that she takes the lead. I don’t think I have mentioned this before but although I am not in chastity she does control my sexual release, Never more than once in a 7 day period. This is another thing that she likes being in control of and I feel makes me a better husband. If it wasn’t for my wife, I am not sure I would have the confidence. But thankfully I have her and kudos to you for just doing it!


So happy for you and your journey is inspiring! The leap to dress is a tough one but once you do, you don’t go back. You sound confident and strong and happy this community could help you get there! Nothing better than a pair of satin panties!


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