Are there Rules to Being a Crossdresser?

Are there Rules to Being a Crossdresser?


We’ve tackled a lot of different topics on this blog when it comes to what it means to be a crossdresser, as well as the many different ways you can crossdress. We’ve gone from talking about how your facial hair should look, what outfits you can wear, and even gone into some societal topics regarding crossdressing. With all these different trends in crossdressing, contrasted with how it has always been, we’ve been wondering: is there only one way to crossdress? Or is it more flexible than that?


We’re coming up in an age where fashion is becoming more and more innovative, and where “breaking the rules” is encouraged when it comes to putting together an outfit. Though crossdressing is just as much a lifestyle as it is a fashion statement, there are definitely elements of it where you can “break the rules”. You can mix up lingerie sets, wear some wigs, and change up what kinds of shoes you wear with your outfits and it could be considered “fashion,” but are you still “crossdressing” if you break these sorts of rules?


I’ve noticed that crossdressing is definitely more specific than any other way of dressing, but in the way I understand it, it’s simply wearing articles of clothing that are traditionally worn by members of the other sex. However, I can also see that “cross dressing” and “being a crossdresser” can be two very different things. Someone who would regularly crossdress might have a set of rules to follow, like staying shaved to appear feminine, and wearing specific outfits that align with the identity of “crossdresser.” On the other hand, someone who is simply crossdressing as a one-time thing, or someone who just enjoys wearing feminine articles of clothing from time to time, might not want the identity of “crossdresser,” as it’s not a hobby that they actively follow. In conjunction with that, someone who is an avid crossdresser could find offense to someone crossdressing as a one-time thing (especially if they think that they’re doing something incorrectly), since being more active crossdresser has a defined culture and lifestyle that comes with it.


Because your opinions are valuable to us, let’s have some discussion in the comments. Is there only one way to be a “crossdresser?” Do you have to stick to a certain set of rules to become one, and if so, what are those rules? Can someone still consider themselves as a “crossdresser” if they break those rules? Give us your opinions! We’d love to hear them!

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Why do we need to label it? Why do we have to choose? Why cant we just flow back and forth between cross dressing and gender dressing? Sometimes its the places you will be that dictate what you can and cannot wear in public. At work, panties and bra and garter under a suit still let you feel feminine. At play, go full on gurl if you want, nobody will care. I don’t see any reason why we need to stick to just ONE way. There are no rules to this, express away in any way you want! But XDress panties are a must (almost daily)!


Should you change your panties Change their panties if they are starting to use panties everyday


I have loved reading all these postings. Like many of you, I am a professional, married, and happy to be male, with a strong feminine side. Wearing panties and a bra (yes from Xdress) under my power suite is my way of coping with the stress of my occupation. I am truly blessed with a wife that loves my femme side and buys clothes, lingerie, perfume, makeup and jewelry for me. We love to go shopping together and have girlfriend nights when we do each other’s nails. This all said, I present in a very male way during the day. I have no desire to transition to being a physical female. I am 67 years old with a full beard, and nothing about my outer self says “female”. But on the inside – ahh that is another matter.

I agree with Sheery, regarding rules for cross dressers – “There are no rules.” It really depends on how deeply you identify with your feminine self, and there is no right or wrong in that regard – it depends on your sense of who you are, and everything flows from that sense. I don’t want to sound elitist, but I do believe that those of us who embrace our feminine selves have far more courage and honesty in our self examination than the binary alpha male macho man who hates us and would be violent because of the clothing we choose to wear. Because of such people, we are the most isolated and private of all people. It is interesting to me that we are not even accepted by the LGBTQ community. The L’s don’t accept us because we are male, the G’s don’t accept us because we are femme and not YMCA muscular, the B’s, well they may accept us, but only in a fetishist manner that objectifies us in a sexual manner, the T’s don’t accept us because we aren’t femme enough (as if it were some kind of contest) and the Q’s? refer back to the G’s. As far as general society? Good luck with that one!

Please understand that I’m not whining about the rejection of society – it is what it is, and I wasn’t appointed to govern what others think. This is just the reality of daring to have a sense of self that violates the rules of our society, and isolation is the cost. If there is any rule I would dare to suggest, regarding being a cross dresser, it would be this – dare to be true to yourself, and embrace those differences you discover. In the words of Plato, “An unexamined life is not worth living.” Be courageous, my dear sisters beneath the skin, and celebrate that examination! Thank you, Xdress, for providing us a platform to share our thoughts – and thanks for the great panties and bras!



The rules are that there are no rules. You’re kind of breaking them anyway. As long as you are not hurting anyone and dress “appropriately” for the situation (vague, I know) there should be no reason to be following any kind of guidelines for being a crossdresser. There are those, however, that may be offended and/or start to point fingers but that’s the world we live in at the moment.


I’m a 46 year old professional who has a full beard and does crossfit. I have no desire to go out in public or transition in any way, I just love the feel of panties and lingerie when I’m home with my wife. She was curious in the beginning about a lot of things in regards to our relationship but she loves seeing me in my outfits now. We do some role play here at the house and are always open to trying new things together so I think outfits definitely help bring that out of us.


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