Greetings, my dear readers. First I want to express my appreciation for your responses to my blog postings. It is so rewarding to know that there are so many of you that share this common experience with me that we call, loosely, “crossdressing”. Perhaps a better term is “gender fluid.” That pretty much works for me, as we all have a sense of who we are that is much broader than the confining role of the traditional binary male. I can’t imagine going back to being the macho male I once pretended to be (I say “pretended” because that was never who I really was) and wearing those heavy, scratchy underwear. Thinking about this fascinating journey of embracing the inner femme that we know ourselves to be, I started wondering about what got us all started on this journey.
I’ve read a lot of posts on various sites, regarding crossdressing folks like us, and have found there are many starting points. Some have sisters, and got started by exploring their sister’s panty drawer, or closet in search of the perfect skirt or dress. Others went foraging in their mom’s closet and dresser. Others didn’t have a sense of their femme self until later in life and lived, or do live, in fear of discovery by their wives. Others, the most fortunate of all, have a spouse that is totally okay with the feminine side of her husband or significant other, and lives happily in the gender fluid world with him.
So, I have a question for you: what got you started, and at what age? When did you first slip on that luscious pair of panties and know you were hooked – that this was a part of who you are? When did you first try on that first bra, or blouse, or skirt, and know that this was something you just had to do? We all had some starting point that led to where we are now, and I would love to hear your stories. By reading the blogs here at Xdress, surely by now you know you are far from alone in this fascinating world of the gender fluid; you are part of a virtual community here at Xdress. Tell me your story – I would love to hear it!
Fondest regards,
Angie
88 comments
The way I found now much I loved xdressing was different. As a total sub I connected with a dom couple, she would dress me and they would use it to humiliate me both physically and mentally. I was paraded in front of their friends and made to wait on and service them. I was tied and punished, used and abused. The whole deal was exciting but the clothing made very, very excited. Now I wear panties and thigh top stockings all the time under my "street clothes, I don’t wear bras because my nipples are pierced and I want the jewelry to show tlhrough my feminine blouses. I like make up a lot but it takes practice, I also use perfume and lots of very feminine jewelry. I’m still a sub but now it is always as a bisexual crossing make who is dedicated to “female” atire. Love your site, please keep up your work, your support is invaluable.
Like many others, I had my start by raiding my mother’s dresser when I was about 12. One day each week, I had about a 2-hour safe “window” at home by myself after school, when she took my sister to her ballet class. I usually had just enough time to go through one drawer, pick some things to try on and then “model” them in front of her full-length mirror. I must have spent several of those days trying on her bras and panties, finding whatever I could to fill the bra cups – tennis balls, rolled-up socks, or who knows what! The next drawer was where she kept her camisoles, full slips and half-slips. It wasn’t until many years later that I got as far as wearing dresses, but when I did I made sure to remember to always go with a full slip. I could never get a half-slip to stay up! Then I got to the drawer where she had several babydoll nighties and matching bikini panties. After trying them on, I knew I’d spend every night wishing I could sleep in them instead of my flannel pajamas! I didn’t think of it at the time, but it would have been fitting if I could have worn the babydolls to bed, since they may have had something to do with my being born in the first place!
I don’t know about anyone else, but for me it was another drawer that held what made me long to discover my femme side, and that was the drawer where she kept her bathing suits. As early as around kindergarten age, anytime we went to the beach or to a pool, I had a secret longing to wear girls’ bikinis or one-piece styles. It probably started at a birthday party at someone’s pool when I saw the other kids’ moms in their bathing suits. I didn’t yet understand the progression of boys growing up to be men and girls growing up to be women, so I hoped I’d become a girl by the time I was their age. I probably thought wearing enough girly things would make me turn into one! I still had that hope when I tried on my mother’s bathing suits, starting with her turquoise crushed velvet bikini. In some ways it was like wearing a bra and panties, with the top having bra-style straps, but the feel of the material took the excitement to another level! We had a creek in the woods behind our house, and I so badly wanted to find a secluded spot where I could spend the whole day swimming and sunbathing as a girl! I never got enough nerve to try that, so I settled for a safer alternative, putting a towel on the floor, lying down on it, closing my eyes and imagining myself on a beach, having turned into one of the girls I’d seen on our past trips! I had to use a lot of imagination, but the bikini did its share to make the enjoyment real!
As much fun as I had trying on her bikini, it was wearing one of her one-piece bathing suits that introduced me to the girl inside me. It was an orange and yellow floral print, with three metal rings on each side holding it together. I had to fumble around a while before I figured out how to put it on, never having seen a woman do that! I held it by the straps and kept trying to step through the leg openings, but my foot kept getting caught in one of the slits between the metal rings. After a number of tries, I finally got both feet through the right places. As I got the rest of the way into the suit and slid the straps over my shoulders, I wasn’t ready for the jolt that went through my entire body. I was pretty sure that the bathing suit would fit me reasonably well, as her other items had, but when it molded itself around me like a second skin, all I could think was that I’d instantly turned into a girl as I’d wished for so long. In a way it was frightening, because I suddenly felt totally natural wearing something that was obviously made for a woman. I went to look at myself in the full length mirror and, after just two or three steps, realized that I was swishing my hips without any conscious effort. When I got to the mirror, I kept asking myself over and over if that was really me. The bikini gave me that feeling too, but the leg openings on the one-piece suit went much higher on my hips, and the seat seemed to shape my butt like a woman’s. To top it off, the molded cups, common on most women’s swimsuits at the time, gave me a full bustline. The worst part about taking it off was knowing that the next time I went swimming, I was going to have to wear boys’ trunks again, this time knowing how it felt to wear women’s bathing suits! I thought the Speedo suits that boys wear on swimming and diving teams would give me at least some of the same enjoyment, but they didn’t even come close!
It wasn’t until some time later, but I finally experienced the thrill of wearing women’s swimsuits to the pool at my apartment complex. I usually chose one-piece styles, since they were easier to find in my size than bikinis for one thing. Also, I found that one-piece swimsuits with soft-cup bras hold artificial breast forms better than most bikini tops do! I always tried to find swimsuits in floral print fabrics that would go with either red or fuschia toenails. Going to the pool was usually the way I topped off a day of cross-dressing. After going grocery shopping or running other errands in a cami top, mini-skirt and 6-inch heeled platform sandals, I’d get back to my apartment and change into one of my bathing suits. Since I didn’t want to get my wigs wet, and knew I couldn’t pass with my own hair, I usually wore flower-petal swim caps. With makeup and lipstick already on, the effect was complete. Whether I was swimming laps, doing aqua aerobics or relaxing on a float, I found that some time in the jacuzzi afterwards wound it up nicely. As for passing, I don’t know if I fooled “all of the people all of the time” or not, but to me it was all about imagining myself as a woman, feeling natural in a woman’s bathing suit, reliving the experience I had when I tried on my mother’s, and still waiting to see if enough dressing and acting like a woman will make one out of me!
Wow, what wonderful and varied responses this blog has given rise to! I’ve so enjoyed all your responses and stories. It seems there is one common theme – those of us who are destined to explore our femme side are hooked forever when we try on femme lingerie. I share with you that sense that once you put on that first pair of panties, it connects you with a part of yourself you may or may not have known was there. Thank you all for sharing your personal stories. They are all so enjoyable to read!
Fond regards,
Angie
I’ve always been a butt man so when I finally realized I wanted mine to look good also there were no thongs being made for men that I knew of. Now this was long ago. My wife bought me some women’s thongs and that’s where it took off. I started wearing them to work and always whenever I put on a tight pair of jeans. I really love how my ass looks wrapped in lace boyshorts, my new favorite. Just bought the Lace Brazil Brief in purple! Purple has always been my fav color. Normally always bought womens panties but usually a hole develops in the front. So excited to have a pair of lace panties w/ a pouch. I have several mens pouch panties but no lace ones and hoping these fit my butt perfectly!!
Needless to say, those first panties my wife bought me just started the whole process of me trying to have the cutest butt out there!!! Interesting when I read the blog this morning about to pouch or not. Surprised so many said no. For me though, its all about how my ass looks in my panties. Hope my order arrives before this weekend…
I am not a cross-dresser, yet! My wife likes me masculine. So, far I shave my legs, chest, and sex, and she lets me. I have chosen the sexiest men’s underwear I can find, and she lets me, so far. String bikinis are good as well are an imported thong. She objected to some lace panties. I really want to get some lace panties!
Yes, I have accepted that I am fully gay or nearly so. And, am trying to figure things out?