Good day, dear readers. I hope this blog finds you doing well and enjoying your pretties. I got to thinking about the difference between men’s underwear and women’s panties. Even the very name suggests a sharp distinction – for men it is underwear and for women it is panties. Everyone knows men wear underwear, not panties. Although, women can refer to their underclothing as underwear instead of panties. It smacks at that same double standard that allows little girls to do typically guy things, like climbing trees and playing ball, but a little boy can’t play with dolls.
Men’s underwear is a rather boring topic – you can wear tighty-whities, or boxers. Hmm, not much variation there. I don’t know the reasoning behind the design of tighty-whities, but they look like a medieval torture device to me. I haven’t worn any in the last 35 years or so. I tried boxers a few years ago, just out of curiosity. I found the lack of support unsettling, and at the end of the day I took them off, only to discover that my skin was puckered around the waist line from the elastic waist band. I donated them to a charity thrift shop.
I suspect the reason men’s underwear is so limited can be summed up in one word; stereotyping. If a man wants to wear women’s panties, the almost immediate response I get is 'obviously he’s not straight' The reality is that the large majority of cross dressers are straight and in a relationship with a woman, according to every survey I have read. To have a feminine side is not an issue of sexual preference. It is an issue of sensing oneself as more than a binary male.
In recent years, the men’s underwear industry has experimented a bit with design and type of material, but you won’t find lace or bows on those “underwear”. Oh no, that would be as bad as a little boy playing with dolls! So, while they have experimented a bit, onward still they trudge with very limited choice.
Contrast the boring sameness of male underclothing to the amazing world of women’s panties. The colors, styles, type of material – what fun! Until I discovered XDress and Body Aware, I wore women’s panties and enjoyed discovering all the styles to find out what worked and what didn’t for my particular form. The only drawback is that the gusset is cut for a woman’s physique and is too narrow to support the needs of a man. It was a good day when I stumbled across a men’s lingerie boutique called XDress. Wow! Panties actually designed for men! I’m sure by now I qualify for the status of Preferred Customer. Why, they even have bras designed for men. Who would ever have thunk it? Many years past, I had a choice of tighty-whities or….thighty-whities. Now, for many years, every morning is fun – what pair of panties shall I wear today. It is fun every day!
In years past, before the advent of the internet, I thought I was alone in this. If you are in my age group (as in cross dressing before the internet) I’ll bet you thought you were the only one too. If anyone discovered I was wearing panties, they probably would have hidden their children from me.
Well, we do have an internet now, and the fact that there are boutiques such as XDress and Body Aware certainly does away with the notion that there are only a few of us strange men who like to wear panties and bras. They wouldn’t have been in business for over 20 years if that weren't true. No, we aren’t just a few. We are the folks that like lace and bows and satin. I have an idea – remember when the feminists had bra burning parties? Why don’t we have a tighty-whitie and boxer burning party?
So much for my thoughts. I’d love to hear what thoughts this article might have stirred up for you. Let me hear from you. In the meanwhile, enjoy those panties!
Fond regards,
Angie
61 comments
Hi there Lovelies
You have to admit that Eddie Izzard has done a pretty good job for gaining acceptance of guys going femme. There are always going to be few idiots around who just can’t handle it – probably challenges their sense of masculinity – but I think things are changing for the better. Well done Conchita Wurst too. And James Charles. And have you seen the menswear fashions from Palomo of Spain? The world is turning guys. Wear those panties with pride and be your feminine selves! Step out!
Another great topic as per usual, Angie. I’m a little late to this one, but I will still share my perspective nonetheless.
I certainly agree in that the very word “panties” draws a sharp distinction to underwear that is soft and evokes femininity. The very definition of them are underwear worn by girls/women. By contrast, boxers are defined as “men’s loose underpants”. However, women would not be shamed, laughed at, or assumed to be gay if they said they wore them. This is not the case for a man who admits to or is seen wearing them. Now the reason for this is simple. Most men never correct these ridiculous assumptions!. Instead, most men say something like “Oh, I lost a bet” when their panties are noticed.
My question is: Why not simply say that they are your panties, and that you wear them for comfort and breathability (or whatever other reason)? Then if they question you further (probably not going to happen very often unless you live in the deep south), you can politely state the have no correlation to your sexual orientation, in the same way it doesn’t for a woman wearing boxers. You can even add they are made specifically for men, if you’re wearing a pair from XD/BA. Hopefully, your girlfriend/wife will be there with you, and they can back you up as well!
The reason that there are still stereotypes is because too many men who prefer wearing women’s clothing, do not do it commonly enough in the world for it to be seen as conventional. In order for it to get to that point, more men need to NOT leave their clothing preferences hidden away from their significant others, and the world in general. It is loosely related to being gay or bisexual in the sense that it is part of who you are, and should not be repressed or rejected, especially by your significant other.
I definitely agree that a male celebrity proudly donning a bra and panties that is with a woman romantically would really be a great way to open up the eyes of the general public. Maybe a “Hey, maybe not every guy who wears panties is gay” lesson would be learned there. And of course, not everyone is going to accept that, but that leads me to my next point.
Women already laid the foundation for men to wear what they want. When women first started wearing pants, they were denied access to business and services, publically mocked by media, and overall just mistreated. Does any of these things happen to men? Not at all. At worst, we get an offensive comment or another male who needs to exert his disdain in a base and primal way, by hitting them. The latter is not a very common occurrence.
So do we really need to burn our boxers and tighty-wighties? I think it’s a little early for that, quite honestly. What society needs for change currently is to see men wearing skirts, dresses, pantyhose, and high heels not just in public, but in the workplace and in media more commonly. I don’t think there is enough men who hate wearing boxers right now for any sort of mass progress to be sparked by a boxer-burning event.
We are still in the genesis of men wearing “women’s” garments publically. In so doing, maybe more open minded men will see a man in a dress and high heels with a beautiful woman on his arm, and think that perhaps this man just does it because he wants to, and he obviously isn’t gay since he has a female partner. Then, that same open-minded man decides to wear a dress and high heels, and loves it like we do! Then it all spreads like wildfire from there. When more and more men do it publically, that is when a mass boxer-burning event would be impactful. As men everywhere would then liberate themselves from overly-masculine stereotypes, and be seen as normal human beings.
I truly do feel distressed for the men who were born in the 1980s or earlier, as they have had to deal with more societal rejection and isolation, than someone such as myself who was born in the mid 90s. However, it is not too late to inspire change for a man of any age who wants to wear pretty clothes. So get out there, and wear your panties, hosiery, skirts, dresses, heels, makeup and whatever else proudly. The world is changing, but only when we all are not ashamed of ourselves, will societal acceptance flourish.
Anyway, if you’d made it this far into my rant, I thank you for reading my thoughts, and hope you apply the same thinking in your lives. Do what makes YOU happy. Life is too short to not be yourself.
Have a wonderful day, and wear something beautiful.
Nathan
Gurls guys and all along the spectrum
It is the best IF the SO is involved. It creates intimacy like nothing else and its sooooo much fun! How cool is it to wear matching panties or have the wife lay out your panties or nylon clad legs rubbing together or going to a party with matching bra and panty sets!
When will there be national men wear lingerie day?
Oh to dream!
I too love it when my wife comments on my panties or lays them out for me in morning and says I picked out your panties for you wear today. Also I like it when she helps me on with sport bra before workout that usually sends me into panty tenting in seconds. It is so very special to have your love one enjoy you wearing lingerie as much as you do. It brings a dimension to a relationship that everyone should experience. As to a famous spokesperson for the brand, yes it would be fun to imagine a star or sports hero representing XD and its customers. Maybe this could be a future topic. Famous males who wear or have worn panties/fem lingerie and those we would like to see as brand rep. Anyway, I think I’ll slip into my nightie early and cuddle up to the wife. Take it easy and be proud .. being taboo in societal eyes is exciting.
Hi Stevie,
Place me on the GURL side of the ledger. And yes we do need a spokesperson. We should put our heads together and come up with a short list.
Ally, lingerie puts me in and keeps me in a feminine mood 24/7. Love the word panties as well. Always perks me up in all the right places. I love it when my wife makes a comment on my undies and calls them what they are — panties. My panty drawer is much prettier than her panty selection. More pink, more colors and lace. Hugs and Kisses Ally
Keri