Hello Hannah! I recently bought myself a large le pliage tote from Longchamp in navy blue and I'm struggling to use it as much as I want to. It's just a bag after all but I end up feeling self-conscious half the time, even though I'm otherwise in male-mode clothing. How can I build up my confidence and why don't more men use handbags/purses? I'm starting a new job soon so I'm thinking that could be an opportunity to use it more... Thanks!
Fashion trends and breaking gender norms have to begin somewhere and have to begin with someone. Why not you?
And yes, that does sound daunting and intimidating and I am not expecting you to start a fashion revolution but you don't have to think of it that way. Instead of you trying to change the world and challenge gender stereotypes, why not just do as you please and stop thinking about what others might be thinking? I myself carry a small bag when I am in male mode to carry my phone charger and a book. It's especially helpful when I am wearing leggings without pockets.
Why don't more men carry a bag? Why don't more men wear nightgowns? Because the world says they can't. It's up to you to decide who you are going to listen to.
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In my experience no one says anything to me at all when I am wearing "girl clothes" or what have you in male mode. I shave my body (including my arms) and no one says a thing. I have my eyebrows shaped and arched. Sure, people NOTICE and some people probably THINK something (God knows what) but people rarely just outright ask someone such personal questions.
And if someone DOES ask me questions, like why I shave my legs, my response is that I hate body hair. And the conversation stops there. If someone asks why you carry a bag, you could tell them it's none of their business OR you can tell them it's handy when it comes to keeping your stuff in.
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The truth about "men wearing girl clothes" is that you CAN wear WHATEVER you want. You don't need permission from the world and it's pointless to wait until the world lets go of the antiquated thinking that gender is a binary. The key is accepting that people WILL likely THINK about your fashion choices but you need to ask yourself if you CARE what some random stranger that you will never see again thinks. I am writing this from a Starbucks and I am wearing a t-shirt from the women's department and a pair of black leggings. I have my messenger bag as well. Sure, people might be looking at me and thinking "that guy is wearing leggings" but I don't care what someone is thinking. Chances are that they will never think about it again. What they think has zero impact on my life and my day because I decided to stop caring what someone thinks.
Love, Hannah
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