I really enjoy many of the products XDress sells. They feel great on my skin and most of the time I feel sexy wearing them. But I am incredibly insecure and self-conscious about my weight and obesity. I see the models wearing the panties and lingerie I buy, and they look so good. But when I wear them and look at myself in the mirror, the visual reality of it is nowhere near what I had built up in my head. I can’t be the only one with this issue. How do I break through my own insecurities (other than losing weight, which I’ve been successful at in the past), let go of my self-consciousness and TRULY enjoy embracing my feminine side with lingerie made for men?
You are absolutely not the only person who has these thoughts and feelings. XDress models (and most models) are slim, young, and gorgeous. They probably make EVERYONE feel a little unattractive.
As we begin to acknowledge, accept, and hopefully embrace our love of pretty lingerie, we begin to look at the world a little differently. Things that never bothered us before suddenly fill us with anxiety and can cause us to spiral into self-doubt and feeling inadequate. What I mean is that before I really embraced my love of lingerie (and everything else) I never cared how "boy clothes" looked on me. I never felt ugly or overweight or whatever when I saw a male model wearing boy clothes.
But when bras and panties began to take over my closet and dresser, everything changed. When I get all dolled up and wear a new dress there's a good chance I will feel frumpy or worse. The women in my life would talk about how society has these impossible beauty standards about how women are "supposed" to look. Actresses and models who are tiny and have perfect skin and have tiny waists are celebrated. Any body fat is shamed. Magazines have countless articles about reducing "flaws" and losing weight. Women are bombarded with endless messages about changing everything about themselves. As my wardrobe began to fill with skirts and panties I could understand and I could begin to relate.
Models are hired to sell clothes. But I also feel that they are also selling, well, the fantasy. The fantasy, the implication that you will look just like them if you wear what they wear. But that's how advertising works. Automakers want you to think that if you own their BIG truck that you will also go on amazing adventures through the woods when in reality you'll probably need a second job to just afford the gas for it and will mostly use it to help your friends move.
It wasn't easy, and it still isn't easy, but I had to stop thinking that I had to look a certain way. I will NEVER look like the beautiful boys on XDress' website. I am twice their age and I don't have the time to spend four hours a day at the gym. However, I feel that XDress does a better job at model inclusivity than almost every lingerie designer on the planet. Lingerie is meant to make you feel beautiful and it works one hundred percent of the time IF you stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
And it's not a switch you will flip overnight. It takes practice and it takes time to let go of impossible beauty standards. I have good days and I have bad days. I can fill my cart with so many cute panties from XDress and count the hours until they arrive. But just as often I'll visit their website and just feel... deflated that I'll never look as cute in the same pink thong that the boy modeling it is.
Remember, comparison is the thief of joy. The time and energy we spend comparing ourselves to others takes away our happiness.
Love, Hannah
The views and opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of XDress
1 comment
I am 60 still slim and athletic body but sometimes wish I felt like that when I was younger and more attractive but it is also about how you feel when wearing silk/ satin lingerie and have a drawer full of panties and nighties,just the feel of it on my body.