By Princess Daddi (They/Them)
When did you first start wearing panties or lingerie and what motivated you to try it?
I’ve identified as gender-fluid and regularly worn women’s clothing in public since 2017, but I didn’t start wearing lingerie until a few years ago. I had always wanted to try it, but was admittedly scared of what my husband/other people might think. Eventually, I shared with him that I had been wanting to try lingerie, so as a gift he got me two sets from XDress. I immediately loved them, wore them around the house, and of course when we were being intimate. It was a very euphoric moment to be so clearly seen and embraced. Now, my lingerie collection has its own drawer in my dresser – and it’s almost too full!
How has your lingerie journey changed over time and how often do you wear it now?
I mostly wear lingerie when I want it to be seen, either when I’m with sexual partners who are excited by it, or when I’m out at underwear parties. I’m almost always in a thong – I do love easy access! I used to mainly wear bralettes and thongs, but lately I’ve been wearing a lot more garter belts and stockings as well, to put together a complete look. I’ve also experimented a lot with body stockings, which has been a lot of fun!
What are your favorite lingerie styles and fabrics and why do they feel right for you?
I love anything made with satin and/or lace! I feel like they bring out and embrace my personal femininity the best. The softness of satin feels electric on my skin, and the daintiness of lace compliments and accentuates my curves. As far as cuts go, I love anything that’s skimpy, but intricate enough to provide a feminine look/aesthetic/silhouette.
Do you wear lingerie every day or save it for certain moments and how do you decide?
Like I mentioned, I only wear it when I want it to be seen. To me, that makes it feel more special. My husband and I are in a very loving and supportive open marriage, and I have quite a few connections that love seeing and being with me in lingerie. It has genuinely improved my sex life and confidence to be embraced and desired in lingerie!
How open are you about wearing lingerie and who in your life knows about it?
I think at this point, anyone who knows me either knows that I wear lingerie, or if they don’t, they wouldn’t be surprised to find out that I do! I work as a gogo dancer in San Francisco, so I’m pretty much always out and about in a pretty little skimpy outfit.
How has wearing lingerie helped you connect with your feminine or softer side?
Like I said, I was openly non-binary for years before I started wearing lingerie. I was wearing dresses, skirts, jumpsuits, rompers – but always with a men’s brief or thong underneath. In a strange way, it reflected a deeper insecurity of mine. I had it in my head that I could be appreciated for outwardly expressing my femininity, but I could only be desired if people still saw a “man” when the clothes came off. Wearing lingerie helped me connect to my femininity in a more intimate way and bridge that gender presentation gap, so to speak. I am now much more able to connect with all parts of myself both in and out of the bedroom.
What made you move away from traditional mens underwear and try something different?
A lot of men’s underwear is, simply put: boring. I think we’re seeing a resurgence of colorful and aesthetic men’s underwear, but it’s often very expensive and still leans very masculine. And there’s nothing wrong with that! I’m gender-fluid, so I have a good mixture of men’s and women’s clothes, underwear, shoes, and accessories. The venture into lingerie was purely out of the desire to wear something that made me feel both feminine and sexy!
What advice would you give to a guy who is curious about starting to wear panties or lingerie?
Try it! Even if you are just wearing it for yourself. It may take a few tries to find a fit, fabric, and feel that is right for you, so don’t get discouraged if the first set you buy doesn’t quite look the way you wanted it to. Enjoy the thrill of wearing something pretty – it gets pretty addicting pretty quick! I would also encourage you to look on social media to find people who are into wearing lingerie. Finding and having a community that celebrates it makes everything easier and more fun and affirming.
How has wearing lingerie impacted your confidence or self expression?
In some ways, openly wearing and embracing lingerie has limited my sexual prospects. Men will be men, and some of them will stubbornly not look your way if they sense an ounce of femininity. Just know – those men are not for you. Because as I have experimented and explored more, the guys who like lingerie love it. And while I am not a full-time lingerie wearer, the experiences that I do have in lingerie are always my favorites, because I get to feel free and authentically myself.
What does XDress mean to you and how has it supported your lingerie journey?
XDress was the first men’s lingerie brand that I became aware of, or at least the first one that I truly considered getting for myself. It feels like “real” lingerie, which may sound silly, but it means a lot to me that it doesn’t have branding all over it the way many underwear lines do (to me, overbranding ruins the entire vibe of a garment). My first lingerie sets are from XDress, and I still have them and wear them regularly. XDress makes up about half of my total lingerie collection, which continues to grow every single day!
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12 comments
I wish stories like this had existed when I was younger. I spent so much time thinking I had to choose between being masculine and embracing my feminine side. Eventually I realized I could be both.
I have a great career, wonderful friends, and a normal everyday life. The only difference is that underneath my clothes I wear panties because they make me feel good. Reading about other men with similar experiences reminds me that none of us are as alone as we once believed.
I wanted to leave one more comment because reading everyone else’s stories has really made me think about how much my life has changed over the past few years.
The more I’ve embraced my feminine side, the more I’ve naturally settled into a more traditional girlfriend role in my relationship. I know every couple is different, but this is what makes me happiest. My boyfriend is definitely the one who leads in our relationship, and I love that about him. He’s confident, takes charge, and makes me feel safe. It lets me relax and just be myself.
I actually enjoy taking care of our home. I do most of the cooking because I love trying new recipes, I keep the house clean, do the laundry, and make sure everything stays organized. Some people might think that sounds old fashioned, but it honestly makes me happy. I love when my boyfriend comes home after work and dinner is ready or the house looks nice. Seeing him smile makes all of it worth it.
It’s funny because none of this was planned. When I first bought my first pair of panties at 25, I never imagined my life would end up like this. Back then I was just curious. Now I’m 28, I wear panties and a bra every single day, my legs are always shaved, my nails are almost always painted, and every year I seem to get a little more comfortable embracing my feminine side.
I’ll wear a dress around the house once in a while too. It’s usually just on weekends or if we’re having a quiet evening together. I’ve also been learning how to do my makeup. I’m definitely not an expert, but I’m getting better, and it’s become something I genuinely enjoy. Every little step just feels right. I honestly can’t imagine going back to how I used to live. Every day I feel a little more womanly, and for me that’s been a really positive thing.
One thing I’d absolutely love to see is XDress making swimwear. I know they’ve done amazing underwear over the years, but I think there’s a huge opportunity for feminine swimwear that’s actually designed for men.
It’s surprisingly hard to find a bikini or one piece swimsuit that works for our bodies. Women’s swimsuits aren’t made with us in mind, and men’s swimwear is almost always board shorts or sporty briefs. There really isn’t much for guys who want something feminine without having to squeeze into something that wasn’t designed for them.
I’d love to see bikinis and one piece swimsuits with proper lining and support that help smooth everything out without feeling bulky. Not because I’m trying to hide who I am, but because sometimes you just want to feel comfortable without worrying about everything showing through.
I also hope they don’t feel like they have to use crazy prints or loud patterns. Honestly, I’d be happier with beautiful solid colors. Give me soft pink, hot pink, lavender, plum, rose, raspberry, wine, and deep red. Those colors are feminine without screaming for attention.
I think that’s something people don’t always understand. It’s already a big enough step wearing a bikini as a man. Most of us aren’t looking to be the center of attention. We don’t need giant flowers, animal prints, or neon colors drawing everyone’s eyes toward us. Sometimes a simple, classy bikini in a beautiful solid color is exactly what gives someone the confidence to wear it in the first place.
If XDress ever made a collection like that, I’d probably buy one in every color. I honestly think there are way more guys looking for something like this than most people realize. We don’t need over the top designs. We just want well made, feminine swimwear that’s comfortable, flattering, and made specifically for us.
Anyway, thanks again for another great blog. Reading everyone else’s experiences reminds me that I’m not alone. Three years ago I never thought I’d be living this life. Now I have an incredible boyfriend who loves me exactly as I am, I get to be myself every day, and I’ve honestly never been happier.
I really enjoyed reading this. I’m 28 now, and it reminded me so much of my own journey. I didn’t start wearing panties until I was 25. Looking back, I wish I had given myself permission to explore that side of myself much sooner, but I guess everyone gets there on their own timeline.
At first, I only bought a couple of pairs because I was curious. I had always thought they looked more comfortable and honestly a lot more fun than the same plain men’s underwear I’d been wearing my whole life. I expected it to be something I’d wear once in a while when I was home alone. Instead, it completely changed how I felt about myself. After only a few weeks I realized I dreaded putting my old underwear back on. Panties simply felt right. They were softer, fit better, and made me feel more like myself than anything I had ever worn before.
As I became more comfortable, I started exploring other ways of expressing my feminine side. I began shaving my legs because I loved how smooth they felt against satin and microfiber panties. That turned into taking better care of my skin, growing my hair a little longer, and eventually painting my nails. It started with clear polish because I was nervous anyone would notice, but now I love wearing different colors depending on my mood. Every little step made me happier, and instead of feeling like I was pretending to be someone else, I finally felt like I was becoming the person I had always been underneath.
One thing I never expected was that I would eventually start wearing bras too. I bought my first one mostly because I thought it would be fun to match my panties. I figured it would stay in a drawer most of the time. Instead, it quickly became part of my daily routine. Now I wear a bra every single day right along with my panties. There’s something about putting on a matching set in the morning that just puts me in a good mood. Even if nobody else ever sees it, I know it’s there, and it gives me confidence throughout the day. It’s become just as normal to me as putting on socks.
My personal life changed a lot too. Growing up and through school I only dated girls. I genuinely cared about the women I dated, but something always felt like it was missing. I couldn’t really explain it at the time. As I became more accepting of my feminine side, I also became more honest with myself about who I was attracted to and what kind of relationship made me happiest.
Today I have an amazing boyfriend, and I honestly couldn’t be happier. He has never once made me feel strange or embarrassed for expressing myself. He loves that I wear panties every day, compliments my painted nails, and even helps me pick out new colors sometimes. When I shave my legs he notices immediately and tells me how soft they feel. That kind of acceptance has been life changing. I spent years worrying that someone would judge me for being feminine, but instead I found someone who appreciates every part of me. I can’t imagine going back to hiding who I am.
Feeling feminine isn’t something I only do once in a while anymore. It’s simply who I am every day. It isn’t about trying to be someone else or fitting into any label. It’s about wearing what makes me feel comfortable, confident, and happy. Whether that’s a cute pair of satin panties, freshly painted nails, smooth legs, or a matching bra, those little things have become part of my everyday life. I honestly can’t imagine not feeling feminine anymore. It feels as natural as getting dressed in the morning.
I’ve been shopping with XDress for several years now because they make products that actually understand guys like us. So many other brands either make underwear that’s overly masculine or they simply resize women’s products without considering comfort or fit. XDress found a great balance that lets me embrace my feminine side while still designing specifically for men. Their satin collections are still some of my favorites, and the quality has always impressed me.
The only thing I really wish they would do is expand their matching wired bra and panty sets. I know they have made some great bras before, but I’d absolutely love to see more complete collections with matching wired bras, panties, and maybe even a few coordinating pieces. There is just something special about opening your drawer and knowing you have a beautiful matching set to wear. I would buy every new color they released. I think there are probably a lot more customers like me than people realize. Matching lingerie isn’t just for women. Plenty of men enjoy feeling feminine too, and having coordinated sets makes the experience even more special.
Thank you for continuing to share stories like this. When I first started wearing panties, I genuinely believed I was the only guy who felt this way. Finding blogs like this and reading comments from other men helped me realize I wasn’t alone. There are so many of us out there quietly living our lives, wearing what makes us happy, and embracing parts of ourselves that we hid for years. Reading everyone’s experiences gives me confidence and reminds me that it’s perfectly okay to be yourself. I hope XDress keeps making content like this, and I really hope those matching wired bra and panty sets become a bigger part of the collection in the future because I know I’d be first in line to order them.
I have always had a feminine side, but growing up I felt like I had to hide it. Wearing panties became a private way to express that part of myself without needing anyone else’s approval. Eventually I realized there was nothing wrong with enjoying things that made me feel happy.
Finding XDress was a turning point because it felt like these products were actually made with people like me in mind. Seeing stories like yours makes me hopeful that more men will stop feeling ashamed of something so harmless and personal. XOXO
Thank you Princess Daddi for the intimacy and inspiration of your story and journey. Like many, clothing, namely lingerie, was a catalyst in helping me discover and embrace parts of me that I didn’t know where there before – or that social norms said were not normative or accessible to me. Like many, the sensory experiences of textures, styles and designs of lingerie moved me from shame, fear and isolation to passion, strength and connectedness to myself and a fuller identity of me. What started as “ x dressing “ and the web of feelings both sexual and gender revealed that I really am a non binary, that I thrive in this being of self and who knew that the desire to be pretty in panties as a teenager would reveal this beautiful trans woman I know myself to be. Xdress and bodyware helped along the way and I’m so forever grateful as the clothes indeed helped me embrace me justly and lovingly. Hugs. – Tomi